Hi I am not sure if you will see this message but I am desperate to talk to someone as I am terrified. I had a smear test done on Friday my first one I am 39 I suffer with severe anxiety and depression so always put them off as the fear made me seriously ill. I actually was proud of myself for going on Friday I knew it had to be done as I have children and I've been feeling a little better with my anxiety up until now. They found a mass on my cervix pretty big and they were very concerned they have referred me to a cancer specialist who deals with colonscopy ever since my smear test I have been getting throbbing aching pain in my private area and pelvis I also suffer with watery discharge have done for as long as I can remember. I don't have any bleeding as of yet but I am convinced I have cervical cancer I was finally given the appointment to see to see the specialist on Monday and i am terrified she is going to give me bad news specially with the pain I am dealing with it doesn't sound to promising for me. My mind won't shut off and I am constantly terrified I lost my cousin 3 years ago to cervical cancer so i know what to expect I just want someone who understands to talk to as I feel so alone right now I really hope you you this reply xxx

Hi Sara,

I'm so sorry you are going through this and feeling scared. But you are not alone, there is me and [@Minska]‍  and [@AMF]‍ and many more out there, I'm sure. You are on the right track and doing what is the most important, getting checked out and taking charge of your health. Yes, waiting is the worst part but once you know what's going on you can confront it and make a plan on how to proceed. I feel like no matter what happens, you will be well on your way to managing your health anxieties. You are right to be proud of yourself, now take it one day, one appointment at a time. Keep us posted.

Laura xx

Hi Minska

Thanks so much hun I am just a terrible wreck. So glad to hear you beat cancer I love amazing news like that.

Did you have any symptoms with your mass? And was it the dr who reffered you due to the lump? 

How long was you on treatment for to clear up the cancer? Sorry for all the questions anxious nelly today I just keep seeing the appointment in my head and them telling me it's bad news and the feeling of dread I am going to get when they do specially with having severe health anxiety. 

But you are right it doesn't always mean a death sentence its just my children I worry for they both have needs and depend on me for everything so its all going to be very difficult xx

I honestly don't believe it I have been to the toilet this morning and there was blood when I wiped and discharge the only bit of hope I had was the fact I haven't bled and now this has happened to me and now I have no hope what so ever I keep looking at my kids and feel so sick for them I am utterly terrified xx

Sara, there’s always hope! I was post menopausal and had bleeding so that wasn’t normal but my anxiety kept me from going to the doctor, which was really stupid. When I did go, she referred me to the gynaecologist but she didn’t tell me what she could see, so I wasn’t too worried. Even the gynaecologist didn’t say anything until he got the result of the biopsy back, so again I didn’t have loads of worry. I was scared of course when I was told it was cancer, but I always kept positive. I’ve had a few different treatments since I’ve had this cancer twice, but what I can say is that I’m doing fine now and feeling very well! xx

I am so glad you are doing well hun and you beat it I hope for the same outcome and pray I don't end up the same way my cousin did. I just felt so deflated when I saw the blood this morning and its still happening now ive also got bad right leg upper pain and that is another symptom oh the joys. All I can do is hope and pray to God for my children's sakes but I know what I am going to be told tomorrow I keep trying to prepare myself xx

Let us know how you get on tomorrow Sara and you will get plenty of support on here to deal with anything, if you need it, xx

Thank you so much I really appreciate it I will let you know as soon as I get back xx

Just remember that there can be so many different reasons for bleeding, not always cancer. And if it is something, you will be able to work on getting it taken care of. Dont lose hope!

Let us know how it goes tomorrow.

Laura xx

Thank you so much Laura be glad when it's all over and done with and I finally find out what's what but at the same time so scared to. 

Can't believe I just suddenly started bleeding today its stopped now and it was only tiny amounts I am such a shy person and I have to do all this over again which is terrible for me :( xx

Don't worry about being shy, doctors are used to it, believe me. 

Get some rest! xx

Thank you Laura. Today is the day I find out if it is cervical cancer or not. I know what the outcome will be but hearing it is terrifying I wish it was this morning so I can get it out the way and not be sat around worrying xx

Thank you Laura. Today is the day I find out if it is cervical cancer or not. I know what the outcome will be but hearing it is terrifying I wish it was this morning so I can get it out the way and not be sat around worrying xx

I recieved my smear tests results today which came back as HPV negative and there is a very small chance I will develop cervical cancer its hard for me to feel happy about it considering I still have to go and have this colposcopy today and still getting pain, discharge and bleeding which clearly isn't a good sign :( I am terrified I have a sinking feeling this appointment isn't going to go very well at all for me xx