Oh, Dottie, I thought it was just me that felt that way.  I have always thought I was in denial, I feel I should be terrified but I am not.  But I , too, get worried when I get pains, thinking it has spread. I started seeing a counsellor at a local cancer charity to try to get help but when I come out I feel he may just feel that I have lost the plot!  :-)

I do hope you don't get to the panic stage and that everything goes well for you.  Best wishes. xn

Hi Pauline, thanks for your reply. I think getting out and about helps but then something stops you in your tracks and reminds you for a while you have cancer, I keep saying it to myself "you have cancer,you have cancer" it doesn't always sink in.

I don't think I would go to see a councillor as I think I would traumatise them lol x

Oh dear, you have just made me laugh out loud!  Good to find a kindred soul! x

Hi Dottie & Pauline

I have come to the conclusion that this "Denial" is a coping mechanism that our brains just go into.  I was diagnosed last September (after my op) and even though I have had chemo and radiotherapy part of me still thinks there is nothing wrong and they made a mistake.  As I have now to wait three months for my next scan I would be in absolute pieces worrying about it.  Instead I am getting over the side effects and cant wait for my holidays and am planning for the future.

I know deep down that the diagnosis is correct but by brain chooses another way for me to cope so maybe we need to find another word rather than "denial" to describe what we are going through.  Something posative like being "In Life Mode".

Dottie you do need to tell your daughter.

Hi Pauline, just wondering how your doing on this crazy merri-go-round? Hope all is well xx

Hi, Dottie, had a MRI scan last Saturday and have the results on the 23rd,  this is our life, isn't it, scans and results, each one frightens me and I am angry that no one seems to be able to answer the questions I go armed with. 

How are you - have you managed to speak to your daughter yet? Have you managed to speak to anyone about the pain and what is their next plan of action for you?  Be strong, Dottie, because sometimes being strong is our only option, however hard it may be!. x

Hi Dottie,

Everyone reacts differently to bad news and grief. There are no right or wrong ways to react.

I was diagnosed with Stage 4 in October 2013 and I've been pragmatically coping with it without drama ever since. There does seem to be an expectation these days for everyone to have emotional outpourings but I'm afraid I'm far too much of a Northern Lad for all that. Us English used to be renowned for our stiff upper lip and humour in diversity, my guess is that many of us are still hard wired that way

:-)

Cheers
Dave

Hi Pauline, see I knew Id lost the plot, I could of sworn I messaged you back

i hope you are well and your getting your answers you need. My op date is the 16th June to which depends on the outcome if I have chemo or not although the opinion of 2 nurses is that's almost a definite with it being Grade 3, that's scared me more than the lumpectomy.

im going to tell my daughter a few days befor as she isn't very good at bad news.

my pain has gone now but I do get a stich on that side, gods knows why as I thought you had to exercise to get a stich lol

Well I hope the weather is as nice as it is hear and enjoy your weekend xxx

Thanks for your message Dave and hope your keeping well. Yes us northern girls are pretty tough too so I'm sure it will all be fine.

kim