First time post, mum diagnosed with choroidal melanoma

My mum was actually diagnosed with this last year and under went radiotherapy which has shrunk the tumor, I don't know if I was a bit naive or not really taking it all in but at her follow up today the doctors were happy with the tumor not changing on size, they said that she has a one in seven chance of it spreading to her liver and if it does basically there is nothing much else they can do, also that she will have this cancer for the rest of her life, all they can do is "keep it at bay". I don't know what made me want to post on this forum but not sure how I feel about it and think it's only hit home today how serious the illness is. 

  • HI Aimeex,

    Welcome to this friendly forum. When cancer enters our lives, It creats a lot of uncertainty and emotions. I am sorry to hear about your mothers cancer but lets turn what they said to you upside down and look at it this way. There is a six in seven chance of it not spreading which to me sounds more positive than the way it has been put to you both. As to why you posted on here, It does help to talk to someone outside the circle of family and friends and especially people who know what a diagnosis of cancer means and the problems it brings.

    Please keep in touch as and when you can, take care, best wishes to you and your mother, Brian.

     

  • This is my very first reply and this is my very first forum and l hope very much that your mum is going to be with you for a long time yet. I think what drew me to your post was that you are not the person suffering from cancer and that is the same for me. My husband has just been diagnosed with Myeloma literally a few weeks ago and what you said about things just becoming real hit home to me. I know just how you feel. One of the things that l feel strongly is , and l am ashamed to admit it, is that it is so very unfair. My husband is a good kind man, an excellent  father yet this has happened to him, when there are so many horrid evil people in this world walking about without a care. I know l have to work on not feeling this but it is hard. Anyway you and your mum are in my thoughts and l hope that things go as well for her as they possibly can.

  • Poor your mum and you. How these things happen - I will never know, but they do and thank goodness it was found. As Brian says below = there is a good chance it won't spread and  iam sure they will be carefully monitoring it. So, tell your mum that the worst is over and however long it may take for her emotions to get on an even keel = and with a bit of luck things will be okay again.

    I can only guess how you are feeling Aimee = let me offer you a warm hug and say in my job I have seen several people with this and they usually do okay. I know its a struggle and I know life seems so unfair = but these things do happen sometimes and somehow we find the strength to push through and carry on.

    All the best to you and your family

    Steven