Hi Gary,
As Max has said prognosis' are not set in stone.  We beat my hubby's.   He was given 3 months.  We talked openly and honestly and I said I would manage without him and I am, as he was concerned about me.  There was nowhere in this world I would rather have been but by his side.
He didn't have any earth shattering ambitions, was content with his life lived (aged 56) and made the most of the time we had.  He found great pleasure doing what he could, oiling padlocks, transplanting seedlings, spending time with me, pets, family and friends when they were given the ok to visit as I didn't like to see him too exhausted, but ultimately it was his choice.  He looked at nature and life with new eyes, appreciated all the beauty that surrounds us which we normally take for granted, also taught me a lot.  We were together for more than 30 years.
He never asked why me, always stated rather him than a child at least he had had a good life, quite fulfilled. He wrote letters for after he was gone that gave some comfort too.
Anyway all I can advise is one day at a time, celebrate your victories , do what makes you happy, don't worry about tomorrow that'll take care of itself, live for today.
I am sure your O H is understanding when you are grumpy and you have good reason to be.
I bet Bertie gives you great pleasure too.  He sound cute.
Take care
Kathy x
 

Max, your comments really resonate with how I feel and were comforting to read.  Good luck with the sessions and hope to catch up soon.  Gary

Thank you Kathy for your reply.  It does make me feel better to understand that others have taken similar approaches to living their lves in the way that best works for them and loved ones.  I was in danger of becoming obsessed about "wasting" whatever time is left, but yours and others responses sre helping me realise there are no right or wrong ways.  Gary

Thank you Jenny and it was good to hear how well you are responding to your treatment. Best wishes Gary

Thanks Gill.  At an early meeting with the consultant we asked if any alternative approaches were available but he said not.  You have inspired me to bring up the discussion again when I see him in a few weeks.

Gary

Hi Gary,

On the subject of prognoses, my oncologist pointed out in no uncertain terms that life expectancies are based on averages and should not be taken as set in stone. They often don't take into account variable factors such as the age and fitness of the patient, the aggressiveness of the cancer and unknown genetic factors. They are often also based on out of date data which doesn't reflect improvements in the effectiveness of cancer treatments over recent years.

Try not to be passive with your consultant - this is your life being discussed here not his. You are entitled to a second opinion from a consultant and you are also entitled to go private if necessary. Get as much information as you can before you see the consultant and if you think there are alternatives he should be offering ask him why these are not being offered. There may well be a good reason for his position in which case you will sleep better at night knowing that you at least discussed alternatives with him. On the other hand it may well be that alternatives aren't being offered because the medical expertise isn't available locally. SRS/Cyberknife is only available at a few places in the UK - I know from talking to patients waiting for treatment at the joint Walton Centre/Clatterbridge Cancer Centre in Liverpool that they treat people there from all over the UK and from abroad. 

Good luck
Dave

Hi Gary 

What a thought provoking thread this is, and many inspirational words. The time taken by others to reply and comfort one another is truly amazing.

I will just echo what others have said be an advocate for your own health, you are so entitled to seek a second opinion even from a different hospital. I contacted the royal Marsden in London w to see if they would see my dad, unfortunately he does not want a second opinion but the option was there should he wanted it. Simply forwarding details from dads oncologist to them would have got the ball rolling.  I hope you continue to post here as it really does help and talking to others who can in someway relate helps us along the journey x

Thanks for reply i see the consultant next week so will raise the topic again.  Also due a scan end of month so will see if any improvement this time.

I will definitely keep in touch with people meeting through this chat room.  My eyesight makes using a computer slow work but I keep at it.

And I apologise if I appear to ignore some posts but it isnt intentional.  I just find the web site screens very "busy"

Gary

Thanks Dave.  Your comments about both treatment and average prognosis "numbers" makes sense and I work to keep it in mind.  Just some days better at it than others - like many other people here Im sure

Gary