Hi Luckyus.

Just got back from blackpool , I think I know what you mean, why is he like this is it because of the treatment he has or will be having. funny thing  the wife and I was talking about the same thing. she says I get bad tempered and shout,( you know what I mean ) its because I get frutrated when I cant get over what I want to say, but as blaming you for everything it is not normal. ask him what is a matter and why it is your fault. my daughters said they had to tell me off for shouting at the wife, and I was bad tempered to her. not being in our position maybe it is hard to see it from our point of view.

Maybe there is another reason for him being bad tempered, all I can say is ask him why he is like this and tell you what is wrong so you can help, also tell him it is hurting you with what he is saying.

if he wont say what is wrong how does he expect for you to help and love him, you can only help if you come to a aggrement to sort it out, and it is not helping your marrage if you dont talk about it.

Let me know how you get on. I know cancer takes people different ways but being in a bad mood isnt helping him to get better.

michael.

Hi Michael

I knew you would have good advice we are still talking through his fears i have tried to tell him im on his side but the anger blows like a bomb and then 5 mins its over. boiler broke down 2 days ago all my fault as i had the shower now its mended it was the excess cold. i think you are right "walk a mile in my shoes", i cannot begin to know what truely goes through his mind only what he tells me.

Thanks for the help and another perspective.

Luckyus

Hi Luckyus.

Remind me what he has had latley, has he had just radio, or a biposy ETC. or is he still waiting for results, I ask this as I talk to a few friends about cancer I dont want to get them mixed up. like I said he may be worrying about his cancer outcome in the future and doesnt want to talk to you about it, I was the same I didnt talk to the wife about it, but that is how I am.

Is there something that is worrying him that you might need to ask his doctor about, something that he has been told and didnt want to talk to you about. thinking back I didnt think I would have had a major op. like I had, but being better and being able to talk helps a lot.

let me know how it goes, we all dont want this but there is not a lot we can do, getting help from family needs to be allowed.

michael.

Hi Luckyus.

When he had laser on his vocal cords what did they say it was at. was it T1-T4. I had 6 weeks of laser, I will not go into what happened after. Like I said I never smoked but still got throat cancer, the specialist asked at the first diagnosis how long I had smoked for they seem to ask this straight away when you got to see them as a few of the people I have talked to get asked by them.

I have been talking to a lit of people who find it helps to talk about what to expect as in my case, EG. what happened as I went along, as I said my problem got worse the more I went for bipseys I was in hospital for 3 of them and my cancer had moved from one vocal cord to the other side in a matter of 6 months.

Doctors dont tell you much, have you asked him what he thinks if the news is not what he expects, does he use a computer, when I found out about my news I was on the computer to see what I could find out about the stage of my cancer and what may happen in the future, some people get frightened to look but I then had it in my mind what may happen and it helped me to understand what may happen in the future. get back to me and let me know how you get on, I can see not knowing isnt helping but what might happen in the future can upset him try and get him to talk about it, I get a lot of people emailing me to talk about it and I hope I can help with going through it

michael.

Hi Lucky us,

been reading your threads. I honestly think if they had found something that concerned them they would have had your husband straight back in to do more surgery or at least tell you whats going on so it could be a case of no news is good news. When they first saw your husband they would know just by looking if there was anything that needed immediate attention and the delay is probably just for healing. When I had my first laser they told me a week later it was T1 and that they would be doing more laser then keeping an eye on it. I expect they will have a look at it with the endo scope on 22nd to see how it looks after the surgey and if it looks ok they will leave it for the monthly observation. Thats what happened after I had the second laser they just said as far as they could see it looked fine and just told me to come back in a month, of course subsequently I have had more problems but everyone is different perhaps your husband will be lucky and the laser will be enough. Try not to worry and avoid looking at articles on the internet they are not representative and in my experience cause panic and are not helpful although I'm sure michael means well by suggesting it.

I'm doing ok have got a nasty chest infection which is making the RT more difficult, bad timing I guess. Good luck for 22nd keeping everything crossed. :-)

Take care

Andy

Hi Marion,

RT was going really well till last sat when I developed a really nasty cold which has turned chest/throat infection which is making me cough constantly throwing 'salt in the wounds' of my already sore throat. Fortunately I can just about swallow so am getting some food down but it is extremely uncomfortable and can only get relief from co codamol my wonder drug! Its weird as I think the chest infection and coughing are worse than the RT as i can't remember ever having anything like this as i'm generally fit and don't get many colds.

I'm having to take some time off from work which is annoying as I wanted to wait till the end of the treatment before I stop working but guess it can't be helped. I work in clerkenwell at a small private health studio ( you asked where I work) which is close to the city, guess i'm not a great advert for personal training at the moment!

have been texting chris, bless him, he's been great, giving me encouragement it really is something when someone you don't know is prepared to go out on a limb for you, mind you guess know each other a little by know except what we look or sound like which in my case is a whisper at the moment. Hope all is well with you.

Love Andy

Hi Michael

he has T1 stage cancer he has never been the type to read up on things where as i am he has never looked on this site just asks every now and again what it says. thanks for your continued support and will be back on after the 22 to let you know what happens

Thanks

Luckyus

Hi Andy

I agree with the "no news is good news" theory, So sorry you are going through the mill at the moment RT sounds hard enough without the chest infection. On the whole i am not a worrier but my husband is. Every day i am gratfull we caught it so early.

Thank you for your continued help

Luckyus

Hi Andy

Sorry to hear that you have a chest infection at the moment.  I had bad cough during my RT and was worried that I would choke under the mask or move during a cough and get zapped in the wrong place!  I know what you mean about sometimes the mask feeling more tighter sometimes and I used to worry that I was in the wrong position.

I'm sure your throat is getting sorer by the week now.  You may have to take something stronger like morphine - what a wonderful drug that is but knocks you out and adds to the tiredness.

You might have been told that you will feel worse AFTER your treatment has finished.  I was really pleased that my neck was fine and not too red and I even had a little bit of voice then all of a sudden a week after I finished RT my neck was bright red like I had severe sunburn and my voice went completely.  Make sure you use your aquious cream liberally even though your neck might be ok at the moment.

Take care and keep posting if you're feeling up to it.

Love Marion x