Hi Mrsjp.  I am sorry to hear about your partner.  I have secondary breast cancer.  I have lots of mets which include hips, pelvis, most of my spine, ribs and skull.  Mine is incurable as well.  I was diagnosed at the end of 2024 and been on treatment since then.  At first I thought my life was over but it is not.  At my last scan they could not see the mets in my skull and the cancer is stable.  This is good news.  With all the new treatments and trials etc coming out we can live a good life for many years.  My husband and I are going to Portugal in September.  So I would say yes you can continue to live a normal life, just a bit slower in my case but I have a good life.  I am happy to chat anytime.

Lee x

Thank you that is so reassuring, my mind keeps taking me to a worse case scenario that he will not be receptive to treatment, it is great to hear that albeit at a slower pace life is mostly normal 

xx

Hello Mrsjp

Like Lee and your husband Ive got incurable secondary cancer in bones and spine. Im receiving immunotherapy plus  Denosumab to help keep bones strong. 18 months since last surgery and have a good life with few side effects and managable pain levels. 2 fractures in my spine and shoulder from the cancer are healing. So yes there is hope dont give up and live each day as it comes.

Ed

Thanks Ed, I am slowly getting my head round things now the shock is subsiding, and feeling more optimistic that this is not the finale but episode 1 of a new season. I realise I have been trying to have someone say hey I’ve lived another 10+ years but the reality is treatment has only been there for about this duration and is becoming more defined.

Just going from its kidney cancer and contained operation date given and bingo your cured to a scan prior to ip to find in a month he has multiple lesions on his spine, op is cancelled and we are now at incurable.

can I ask what is it that I can do more than anything to help and support him

Hello again Mrsjp

Try to keep some normality and routine to your lives. support can just be continuing to show your love for him. Pursuing activities where for a brief moment you forget about cancer it can become all consuming at times. A day out somewhere nice, a holiday or just a few hours. Visit friends and relatives as their visits to you seem to drop off when youve got cancer. Ensure a good diet and get some excercise each day. Lee walks her dogs. I do a bit of gardening. There is support for you too, ask at the hospital, take up what your local groups offer. A few suggestions.

Ed

Hi Mrsjp like Farmer Ed says try to keep to your normal routine.  This gives you normality and control over things that you can do.  I find that exercise does help me and I enjoy my walking with the dogs, I have four.  \(mad I know).  I have found the cancer charity Penny Brohn very helpful for me.  They are based in Bristol but do lots of online courses.  I did one for four weeks, one day a week.  It was about nutrition, exercise, stress and things that can help when you have cancer.  Picked up lots of useful tips.  I do clinical hypnotherapy once a week on zoom with them and Tai Chi once a week too.  My husband is very supportive and you sound like you are too, which is great for us with cancer.  Lots of support on this forum and the Macmillan one too.  Big hugs.

Lee x