Yes, Butterflywing, I know what you mean about the relief from the results and then it seems once we have the details, the brain kicks back into gear worrying about the next steps. I think for me its feeling out of control and not feeling comfortable sitting with the unknown. So, there is a lesson for me in trusting the surgical team and in my God to get me through this, but that isn't always easy for me to do, some days are better than others in that regard.

Thank you too for your offer to talk, that is much appreciated and also the offer applies to you too - anytime your head is everywhere and you want to reach out, I will answer your messages :) xx

Hi Vivaldi ,

I know exactly what you mean about feeling out of control  and like you I struggle with it . Somedays  I'm quite positive and the next day I burst into tears at a drop of a hat and I'm back to feeling nothing but worry and despair and asking why me. 

As you say it is definitely a lesson in trusting the surgical team and having faith in God and the power or prayer .

Do you mind me asking when your operation is ? Mines Jan 5th and I'm terrified to have it but even more terrified not to .

I wish I could find away to contact you privately,  I feel it would be lovely to have someone to go through this journey with who was going through the same thing xx

Hello again 'B', yes my mastectomy is on 8th January so just three days after your surgery! What kind of surgery are you having? I have two tumours one is a grade 3 triple negative measuring 6mm and the other 9mm tumour is ER positive but HER2 negative. I am 73 in January and am worried that I shall be fit enough but the surgeon says I will be fine, so I have to put my faith in her. My community are all praying for me so that feels good but being terrified is something I will be as the days get closer. And yet I was also thinking how many good things happen everyday as well. The kindness and understanding of doctors and nurses, new friends such as yourself offering support via this forum and old friends who are prepared to go the extra mile to do whatever is needed - what a blessing that is and how lucky we are to have that?

So, just be kind to yourself....and I say that to you and to me, its what our bodies need right now... xx

Hi V ,

I have a tumour somewhere between 1.3 and 2 cms in size  ( the mamogram said 1.3 ultra sound said 1.5 and the consultant thought 2cms when he examined me) . Mine is grade 2 ER + PR -  HER- . 

I haven't told my wider circle of friends about my diagnosis, I've only told immediate family and a couple we have been friends with for over 30 years  so having a friendship like yours is very special and I feel blessed to have found you .

Can I ask what area of the country your in ? x 

Hi lovely

I’m so sorry you’re going through this – the waiting and not knowing is honestly one of the hardest parts. Your fear is completely valid, and you’re not weak for feeling this way.

I remember how terrifying it felt waiting for biopsy results, every thought running to the worst-case scenario. Please know you’re not alone in this, even though it can feel incredibly isolating. Many of us here truly understand that anxiety and the endless “what ifs”.

Whatever the results are, you will be supported and guided step by step – you won’t be expected to face anything on your own. For now, be gentle with yourself and try to take things one day (or even one hour) at a time.

You’re in the right place to talk, vent, cry, or ask questions. We’re here with you

Sending you strength and calm while you wait x

Hi Haniaa ,

Thankyou for reaching out ,it really is appreciated.  I got my results last Friday , grade 2 ER + HER - tumour somewhere between 1.3 and 2 cms in size ( mammogram , US & consultant all came up with a different measurement ) which they said was small so am keeping everything crossed that they are right .

I have my lumpectomy booked for the 5th Jan , to say I'm terrified is an understatement but I know the alternative is even more terrifying .

I have good days and bad days ( more bad than good at the minute) my head is all over the place . I think to a degree I'm still in some kind of denial ..

Thankyou again for reaching out , having support from the lovely ladies in this group fills me with hope and I no longer feel alone xx

Hi lovely

Thank you so much for sharing your update – I can really feel how scared you are, and everything you’re feeling is completely understandable. That waiting period and facing surgery is honestly one of the hardest parts.

I just wanted to share a little of my story with you, in case it brings you even a small bit of reassurance that you’re not alone.

I am 27 years old with ER-positive (ER-4), PR-positive (PR-4), HER2-negative, grade 3 breast cancer. My tumour was 3.5 cm at diagnosis. Because of this, my team recommended neoadjuvant chemotherapy first (chemotherapy before surgery).

So far, I’ve completed 4 cycles of chemotherapy, with 2 more to go. After that, the plan is surgery, followed by radiotherapy. It hasn’t been an easy road at all, but I’ve learned that taking things one step at a time really does help.

I know how overwhelming everything feels right now, especially with surgery coming up. Please know that you’re stronger than you feel in this moment, and that treatments have come such a long way. You’re in safe hands, even when your mind tells you otherwise.

I’m here if you ever want to talk or ask anything – you don’t have to go through this alone

Sending you so much strength and calm as you prepare for the 5th x

Hi Haniaa ,

Thankyou for sharing your journey so far  , I really appreciate your support and want to say I'm 100% here for you if you ever want to talk..

I can't put into words how much it helps to be able to talk to lovely ladies like you who are going through the same or similar journeys . Never in my wildest dreams did I think.I would find myself in this situation  , we have no known family history of BC so it was a massive shock but slowly with the help of people like you ,I'm learning to take one day at a time .

I hope chemotherapy is being kind to you with few or no side effects. Do you know when and what kind of surgery you will have when the time comes ? xx

Same here i had no family history either.

At the moment, the plan is to finish my remaining chemo first, then have surgery, followed by radiotherapy. The exact type of surgery will be confirmed closer to the time once they see how well the tumour has responded. x