Hi butterflywing

Firstly I'm so sorry to hear of your diagnosis.  I went through something similar in 2023.  I found a lump and was referred to the breast unit and it was a whirlwind from there once the biopsy results came back positive.  I was convinced it was a cyst (as I'd had one before in the same location) so didn't take anyone with me for the results appointment.  Needless to say it was a bit of a shock.  Mine was about 3cm in the end but it was triple negative (non-hormonal) with no real understanding of how it happened as it doesn't run in the family. 

Once the results came back, follow-up appointments were very rapid and a treatment plan was soon in place.  I had 6 rounds of chemo, 7 rounds of immunotherapy followed by a lumpectomy (which by the time the chemo had finished, they couldn't find any cancerous cells so took tissue to make a clear margin).  A couple of months after the surgery I had 9 rounds of radiotherapy.  I'm happy to say I've been clear now for just over a year and life is very much back to "normal".  

I know it's scary but once the diagnosis is confirmed, you will be offered so much support from your breast cancer nurses, oncologist and treatment team you won't feel alone.  Sadly there are lots of ladies on here that will have been through something similar, and they will all support you too.  

Good luck with your biopsy results.  It sounds like it's been caught early as it is a small lump, so don't think the worst yet.  Just listen to your consultant and the professionals but don't be afraid to ask questions. 

Am here if you need to talk.

Carol 

Hi Carol ,

Thanks for replying .. My head is all over the place ! One minute I'm relatively positive  then something hits me and I start to believe I'm going to be given the worst news possible and I won't be here to see my grandchildren grow up . I worry I'm going to loose my hair ( stupid I know considering the bigger picture ) but every thing seems so massive at the minute.  I'm up and down like a yoyo with a big black cloud of fear hanging over me . 

Hi Butterflywing,  I am so sorry to hear this.  I had lumpectomy and it was not as painful as I thought.  Do you have any scans booked before your op?  Sending you the biggest of hugs x

Lee x

Hi Lee ,

No scans booked , just an appointment with a physio ( pre-op ) to talk about exercise because of sentinel node biopsy during op .. My paper says , cancer detected in breast tissue , lumpectomy and sentinal node biopsy during surgery . I was told the biopsy is routine so am hoping that's right x

Hi Butterflywing yes sentinel node biopsy is routine, I think they take three away to check for cancer.  I had it in one of mine.  The excercise really help after the operation so it is good to do them when you can.  It is a whirlwind once you get going.  I felt better when I knew what treatment I was having.  

Lee x

Hi Lee 

I feel a huge sense of relief today. We lost a very close family member to cancer 2 years ago ( out of the blue ) so I've been triggered by that and imagining the worst so getting a diagnosis and plan in place has helped alot. I could have had the op on either Xmas Eve or NYE but after they assured me a few more days wouldn't make any difference so opened for Jan 5th .

Do you mind me asking what treatment you had after they found it in one of your nodes? Did you ultrasound look clear before the op or did they have a suspicion of something in your lymph nodes ? x

Hi butterflywing.  I sort of knew I had cancer when I had the biopsy so when I was told I was  prepared.  There was no sign in lymph node before my op.  After the op I was told stage 3, grade 2 lobular breast cancer with one node affected.  I had chemo, then radiotherapy after that.  Best thing to do now is to focus on trying to be as healthy as you can before your op and do the excercises that they give you when you can after the op.  Also don't google as information is out of date.  Sending you hugs.

Lee x

Thanks Lee , I knew before my appointment as well ..Intuition maybe ? I have grade 2 Ductal Carcinoma ER+ Pr- HER - .and at the biospy no sign in lymph nodes ( am hoping it stays that way ! ) . Trying to stay off Google but it's hard . Thankyou for all your support , it's really good to have someone to talk to x  

Have just seen your thread, being new to this site, but can so relate to your concerns as I am just a couple of steps ahead, now that all my test results are in and my mastectomy is booked. The waiting for all the tests and results is I think the worst of times and feels the most worrying, as not knowing means your brain tries to fill in the gaps and it always seems to find the worst scenarios, especially if you know of others around you who did not fare so well.

What I say to you is probably what I also need to hear and that is to acknowledge and appreciate what you are feeling. I have started a journal as I live alone, so it feels a good way to express what's going on for me, if I can't do so with my nearest and dearest. This site also seems a real blessing and the other lady who replied to you was marvellous and helped me vicariously too....

Your experience is unique to you and it's important that you know who you can reach out to when you hit a wobbly patch. My thoughts are with you as you navigate all of the various stages x

Hi Vivaldi ,

Thankyou so so much for reaching out to me it really is appreciated. 

I agree the waiting is definitely the worst of times not just for us but for family as well.

I felt a huge relief the day I got my results  simply because now I knew what I had to deal with . As the days have gone on I've begun to doubt everything again though and my head once again is everywhere  so for me it's really helpful to talk to someone who is going through the same or similar thing .

I hope you are doing ok  and please please message if you ever want to talk .. I'm not sure how to private message on here but will always answer your messages .

Thankyou again for reaching out , it brings me a lot of comfort to know I'm not alone xxx

Yes, Butterflywing, I know what you mean about the relief from the results and then it seems once we have the details, the brain kicks back into gear worrying about the next steps. I think for me its feeling out of control and not feeling comfortable sitting with the unknown. So, there is a lesson for me in trusting the surgical team and in my God to get me through this, but that isn't always easy for me to do, some days are better than others in that regard.

Thank you too for your offer to talk, that is much appreciated and also the offer applies to you too - anytime your head is everywhere and you want to reach out, I will answer your messages :) xx

Hi Vivaldi ,

I know exactly what you mean about feeling out of control  and like you I struggle with it . Somedays  I'm quite positive and the next day I burst into tears at a drop of a hat and I'm back to feeling nothing but worry and despair and asking why me. 

As you say it is definitely a lesson in trusting the surgical team and having faith in God and the power or prayer .

Do you mind me asking when your operation is ? Mines Jan 5th and I'm terrified to have it but even more terrified not to .

I wish I could find away to contact you privately,  I feel it would be lovely to have someone to go through this journey with who was going through the same thing xx

Hi Vivaldi ,

I know exactly what you mean about feeling out of control  and like you I struggle with it . Somedays  I'm quite positive and the next day I burst into tears at a drop of a hat and I'm back to feeling nothing but worry and despair and asking why me. 

As you say it is definitely a lesson in trusting the surgical team and having faith in God and the power or prayer .

Do you mind me asking when your operation is ? Mines Jan 5th and I'm terrified to have it but even more terrified not to .

I wish I could find away to contact you privately,  I feel it would be lovely to have someone to go through this journey with who was going through the same thing xx

Hello again 'B', yes my mastectomy is on 8th January so just three days after your surgery! What kind of surgery are you having? I have two tumours one is a grade 3 triple negative measuring 6mm and the other 9mm tumour is ER positive but HER2 negative. I am 73 in January and am worried that I shall be fit enough but the surgeon says I will be fine, so I have to put my faith in her. My community are all praying for me so that feels good but being terrified is something I will be as the days get closer. And yet I was also thinking how many good things happen everyday as well. The kindness and understanding of doctors and nurses, new friends such as yourself offering support via this forum and old friends who are prepared to go the extra mile to do whatever is needed - what a blessing that is and how lucky we are to have that?

So, just be kind to yourself....and I say that to you and to me, its what our bodies need right now... xx

Hi V ,

I have a tumour somewhere between 1.3 and 2 cms in size  ( the mamogram said 1.3 ultra sound said 1.5 and the consultant thought 2cms when he examined me) . Mine is grade 2 ER + PR -  HER- . 

I haven't told my wider circle of friends about my diagnosis, I've only told immediate family and a couple we have been friends with for over 30 years  so having a friendship like yours is very special and I feel blessed to have found you .

Can I ask what area of the country your in ? x 

Hello again!

It's not always easy to know who to tell and it also feels a heavy weight for others to keep it a secret especially within the family. Such a dilemma!

Having said that my only family members were not really interested in my journey, they are too wrapped up in there own lives and all the challenges they have faced this year so I can't blame them, it is what it is! I have told my wider circle of friends this time around and I am glad I did!

Real friendship is about sharing the good and bad with each other and there are some amazing folk who offer their friendship in beautiful ways that can be very uplifting. Yes, some will say stupid things, offer pitying looks or worst still avoid you, but it's just their way of dealing with it and it isn't about you, but all about their reactions to cancer. So take heart and know that you are loved by your family and friends. And you can talk to any of us at anytime in the knowledge that we share similar experiences although not exactly the same as yours...x

Thankyou V 

I'm learning its very much an up and down process and dealing with the challenges it throws at me on the way .

I'm grateful for all the ladies on here who have reached out and offered support it definitely helps in my uncertain moments .

I hope you are doing well and you have a peaceful, joyous Christmas filled with love xx

A very enjoyable Christmas to you too and hope you are surrounded with loved ones today and have lots of lovely presents to open! After today I am self isolating to try and avoid picking up any bugs, but look forward to hearing from you before the 5th! xx

Hi V !  

Just wanted to check in and.see how your doing . Hope you had a lovely Christmas  c

Hi B, yes it was quiet but good, how about you?

Glad you had a good day  .

Sadly mine not so good .. My 88 year old mum fell so we spent the evening in A & E ,  thankfully she is ok apart from a black eye and a lump on her forhead .

Seems to be.one thing after another at the minute. 

I have my pre op tomorrow and am so scared. The closer Jan 5th gets the worse I.become.. Crying etc etc  , my husband even told me.today I have ruined Christmas  which makes me feel even more alone and.frightened than I was before x

Oh gosh B am so sorry... it's a tough time for you and husbands can get stressed too but don't always know how to deal with it so they say insensitive things, but hope he is lovely in other ways!

Have you thought about calling the help line to talk to them about your fears and tears, they are so very understanding and it sounds as if it might help you. I too am anxious and my heart races each time I think of it. However, once done it's then on the road to recovery, so have bought a set of Ann Cleeves books to keep me from getting bored! What have you planned for your period of recovery?

All the best

Vx

Hi V ,

I haven't planned anything , I just think life will carry on as.normal after a day or two . We look after the grandchildren 4 days aweek and I think apart from a couple of days away they will be here as normal .

It feels like life is too overwhelming at the moment. I'm worrying about everything from will I wake up after the.op to what the results of the pathology will be be and next steps .

It's feels like  a very long uncertain road that im travelling alone without the support of my husband x