Stage 3B cancer

It has now been confirmed that I have stage 3B cancer, I have lost the use of my legs and can only walk with a zimmer frame. The doctor told me that treatment might not be possible until I can walk, but it’s the cancer that is stopping this from happening so what I’m I todo? The success rate is 70 percent for 5 years with treatment I feel so helpless, my wife does not know or has not looked into how bad it is, she is looking at aids and treatments that can help with other ailments that I have due to the cancer. She has not come to terms with the fact that in 5yrs or less I will die, I’m not afraid of death I just wish that people would be honest with me and not look at me with pity. Saying it will be okay you will get through this when in-fact what they should be saying is you have a chance of another 5yrs. I have broad shoulders I can take it, what I can not stand is the so called doctors that are looking after you looking at you with pity and just not say anything. 

  • I'm sorry to hear stage 3B cancer has been confirmed and that you're currently unable to walk unaided.

    Given that treatment may not be possible until you can, this must be very distressing and it's completely understandable why you're feeling so helpless.

    It sounds like your medical team are doing all they can but it's really important that you feel heard and understood so if you haven't done so already, maybe you could try sitting down with them and explaining how you feel you're being spoken to and that you would prefer a more matter of fact approach so that things can hopefully be communicated in a more effective way and one that you're more comfortable with.

    I can also see you're worried about your wife. It can be very difficult for the people around us to cope with a loved one's diagnosis so if you feel your wife is struggling, maybe you could try and have another discussion with her to try and figure out what supports she needs, and you as well, so you are both on the same page and can move forward together.

    I'm not sure if you have heard of the cancer charity Maggie's before but if not, they offer free expert care and advice to anyone who has been affected by cancer, so this may be something you want to explore to ensure you are both receiving the right support you need at this time.

    As always our community is here for you and I hope some of our members will offer their support and advice to you soon and if it would help to talk any of this through with someone, our cancer nurses are available on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator