10 weeks in hospital to find out I had cancer

It’s taken the hospital 10 weeks to discover that I have cancer, I’ve had both testicles removed and to be honest I just want to die and put a end to all the pain and suffering that my family are going through. It’s not going to go away and will just drag on and put more stress on them, so it would be better for me to die overnight and give them peace.

  • Welcome to the Cancer Chat forum letmedie although I'm so sorry to hear about what you have been through over the last 10 weeks.

    I can't begin to imagine how difficult this has been for you, but please don't give up. Your family love you and regardless of what they might be feeling or going through right now, I have no doubt that they want you to stay in their lives. They want to look after you and make sure you are o.k, so if you feel comfortable doing so, try to tell them how you feel and let them be the support and anchor you need to continue moving forward on this journey.

    Coping with a cancer diagnosis can be extremely difficult but I hope by joining our forum and sharing how you feel has made you realise that you are not alone. I hope you receive some support and advice from some of our members who have contended with similar thoughts and feelings soon but if you feel you are unable to cope or are really struggling with how you feel, please make sure you let your GP and/or medical team know so they can support you.

    We also have a team of cancer nurses you can talk to on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m but for those times of the day or night when no-one is around, don't hesitate to reach out to the Samaritans on 116 123. They are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and will listen to you without judgement, so please be assured that you are not alone and there are so many people out there who want to help you through this.

    We are here for you, and are sending you all our strength and support at this very difficult and challenging time.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Now that I’ve had the operation I’m just waiting on the results and to see what stage it is at, I have sat down and talked with my wife and if it comes back at stage four I will look at my options for ending my life my way. No pain just slip away in my sleep, why should I suffer and why should my family suffer everyday. I know that the pain of losing someone is hard but as time goes by the pain and sadness will ease, and knowing that I have not suffered in my last few months will be a huge relief for them.

  • Waiting for your results must be incredibly tough. We are thinking of you and hope the results show that the cancer is treatable if it's found to be in the early stages.

    As I mentioned before, you have so much to live for and there are always people you can talk to about how you are feeling, such as the Samaritans, but if you recognise that you are at risk of immediate harm or danger from yourself please contact 999 immediately or ask someone else to do this for you.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Offline in reply to Letmedie

    @Letmedie. I fully understand and emphasise with your thinking. I am not yet at that stage but will be within 12-24  months  -  recurrent prostate cancer.  I  do not intend  going through the same pain and degradation that my wife did, nor causing the damage that her death did to my health to another. 

    I shall fill in my Dignitas form this week and ensure I can afford and physically manage the solo trip to Switzerland. 

    Timing is all. Fit enough to travel, but not before necessary. I cannot get on board with this stay alive at any cost. Quality, not quantity. 

    My deep sympathy but I salute your honesty.

    dave.

  • Offline in reply to dj48

    I will be looking at dignitas as well all these people who say think about the pain you put your love one's through or have you thought about what they would go through, I can only say my life and if I'm going to end it I will. 

  • Offline in reply to Letmedie

    Understood. What I don't understand is that such rational thinking is somehow seen as an affliction, to call for support. And to assume that there is always something to live for, that there is always someone who is able to put their own life on hold. 

    Let logic and self-respect rule.

    Take care.

    dave.