Hi Fluff, your post really resonated with me. Im five years on from my treatments...chemotherapy 8rounds,radiotherapy 15 rounds. I truly understand how your feeling ,I was petrified of having chemotherapy, my son was having chemotherapy, and he said mum  you have to have it ( I didn't think I'd could do it, the thoughts of losing my hair  and how my body would react to the chemotherapy  terrified me ,id told my son and daughter I dont think I can do it) so I out my big girls pants on ,and told my oncologist id have the chemotherapy and radiotherapy.  

The first chemo I sat there like a deer in the headlights of a car,I didn't know what to expect,I really was petrified.  I was given anti sickness pills before chemotherapy.  I can honestly say the first chemotherapy session i had,was nothing like id built it up to be in my head, it didn't hurt  I didn't  feel sick and that was such a relief.  I did start to lose my hair after the second chemotherapy session, and yes it was distressing ,but I took charge and shaved it all off with hair clippers,yes I cried,but they were happy tears that id took control,I was getting treatments ,which was kicking my breast cancer to where the sun doesn't shine,and it felt good.  Yes as chemotherapy progressed, I did get tired,but I was never sick once,and still had a good appetite. I did have great care  and comoassion from the staff in my chemotherapy unit at the hospital . Radiotherapy wasn't as bad as id built it up to be in my head  either,yes it makes you tired  but its nothing you can't handle,its kicking cancer, and your hair does grow back once chemotherapy finishes . As I said I was petrified ,but I've come through it,I did it ,I bought three wigs  one a bob, and two other longer ones one was a real hair wig  very expensive,but I preferred the other two to be honest, I went to a wig specialist shop ,and the wigs were amazing ,didn't look like wigs when worn. It was a hot summer, so I didn't wear them indoors  I used turbans chemo head scarfs,which I bought on line.  I bought my wigs before I started chemo, so they were there whrn I lost my hair. You've got this,but if you ever need to chat, just send me a message on here . Good luck with it all, im sure you will be OK, your treatments are your way to recovery  just keep that in mind ,staying positive  really helps you get through it all . 

Thank you for your words of support. I plan to get a wig too so I can wear it as soon as I loose my hair. I know I have got to do this but the thought distress me.I will buy some turbans too. I have 8 round as well then radiotherapy. I hope my side effects arn't too severe. At the moment cancer is consuming me.Maybe I will be better once I get in to treatment Did you loose your eye brows and lashes?

Thanks again

Hi  Fluff 1

Yes when you first get the news its a lot to take in,and hard to deal with. Once you start your treatments, the fear of the unknown  subsides  you  will still have.a few wobbles ( tears ) along the way I know i did because at first its like you arevin a dream,its hard to accept  what you're going through,but don't beat yourself up on the days your feeling low,your.only human and its natural/normal to feel this way,you just have to be kind to yourself, and to your body. Just do what you can what you'd normally do on a daily basses  and if you find your energy is low one day more than another,then just chill out  watch tv,film,or read a good book listen to music or do whatever makes you feel relaxed. I used to tell myself this...I'm really lucky I found my lump ,yes it seems like a long hard slog, that I've got to go through,andbyes some days may be harder as treatments progress  but each day that comes and goes  its killing the cancer,each day I'm getting closer to the finish line  I'm getting closer to getting the news the cancer has gone im getting closer to my hair growing again,to losing the chemo curls  ,and that in its self is fantastic. I think telling myself this every dsy,even on my worst days of feeling sorry for myself,gave me the strengh and determination to kick cancer where the sun dont shine,and knowing my treatments were doing exactly that.,made me smile. Yes I did lose my.eyebrows and some of my eyelashes  not all of my eyelashes.  But I met a lady in my chemotherapy unit who had gone before her treatments to have her eyebrows  done tattooed on,and they did look.good. id never thought about doing that  as I waa scared incase it hurt,or worse still I'd end up with slugs for eyebrows. I just used to use an eyebrow pencil and pencil them in ,and used an eyeliner along the edge of my eyes ,where id list some of my eyelashes.  But now I'm using for my eyebrows as there still very thin from years of overpluckinhg. Maybeline eyebrow tattoo.  Its quite good,you can paint it on before going to bed and in the morning peel it off. It does look dark untill you wash your face.it lasts around a week if you do it overnight, if you leave it on for 2hrs it doesnt last that ling maybe two/three dsys .So if you  haven't tried it ,it may be an option for you. Its not that expensive its £12.99 in boots,but on amazon its sometimes a lot cheaper . Aa I said even though its hard to do,just stay positive,and hold onto  thoughts of your treatments,although tough on you at times,ate actually killing off those vile cancer cells,im such a Woo if i can get through it whi h I have  ,you csn too,and will .x

1. Oh thank you so much. I will try and stay positive and think that thought this is kicking this cancer in to touch! I will try the eyebrow liner but I am not very good at it!! I wish I have thought about tattoo eyebrows earlier
2. Thank you xx

Im not very good at doing my eyebrows either lol but it turned out better than I thought it would .I was a bit afraid of how it would look  so I applied it  thinner the first time I ever used it I applied it with a mirror that had a magnifying side on it and that really helped too. The second time I did it ,I did it slightly thicket than the first time I did it. And it did look better. I dont like the thick slug tube of eyebrows that some lady's are rocking up with, I prefer mine thinner but each to thier own,do what makes you feel good about yourself . Yes do hold onto that positive thought,and tell yourself it every single day it really does help keep things into perspective. X

Ok I will do that. I don't  like slug eyebrows either  I'm trying to prepare myself for all! 

I am really hoping my intro to the chemo suite reassures me a bit. I will like a rabbit  in the headlights too. I am really hoping it doesnt make me more anxious!

Thanks for helping.me I do appreciate it x

Ok I will do that. I don't  like slug eyebrows either  I'm trying to prepare myself for all! 

I am really hoping my intro to the chemo suite reassures me a bit. I will like a rabbit  in the headlights too. I am really hoping it doesnt make me more anxious!

Thanks for helping.me I do appreciate it x

Glad that i can help. I remember when I first went into my introduction to the chemotherapy unit,im guessing you will probably have simular thoughts to mine. Its a bit daunting  at first to see so many people having treatments in the unit,but at the same time it kinda measures you of just how well looked after and the care you will be receiving. Its not a place no one ever really wants to go too but its a place where you will find so much love and care in that room. The one piece of great advice I had given to me when I went in there to recieve my chemotherapy from one of the lovely staff called lemon was ...don't ever compare your self with anyone who is having chemotherapy  your body is unique  you and your body will not have the same side effects of anyone else,your chemotherapy will be tailored to you,so what some people have as a side effect,you may or maynot actually get,even if thier having the same chemo as you, your body may not have the same reactions ,so never listen to what other chemotherapy patients are saying about the experiences they may be having or going through . Take each day at a time,be kind to yourself by not being scared about something someone says about thier side effects  don't worry yourself unnecessarily as you may not even experience the same side effects ...remember this,as it really is true. And hold onto all the positive thoughts everyday. The chemotherapy unit although daunting to see ,is a great place for people with cancer  its the best place really  because its got rid of many different kinds of cancer ,and saved soooo many people's lives. This thought I kept popping into my head,ecspeacialy when your first shown round,keep that thought in yoir head ,it really helped me put it into perspective.  Also I had to have a pic line put in,so my chemotherapy could be administered easily. I had always been told that I had good veins,so I was completely surprised on my first introduction to the chemotherapy unit,that the senior nurse told me when she looked at my veins ,that they didn't look good enough to with stand having chemotherapy with out having a pic line inserted.  So had to book an appointment for thst to be done, but couldn't get appointment befote my first chemo  so that was done through a candulsr. But got pickine put in for my second chemotherapy.  The pic line ,if you do have to have one, doesn't hurt when inserted ,but I was scared lol. The pic line has to be washed out evety week,at the hospital,which was a but if a pain  but just one of those things lol. Anyway not everyone needs to have them, and you may be one of those that doesn't, but if you do ,it doesn't hurt when they do it as they numb you,  Do let me know how things go .I'm sure you will surprise yourself with how you cope,its never as bad as we make it to be in our head.x

Thank you for your great reply. I will keep all you are saying in .my.mind. I am ok with needles etc so canula PICC line ok ok by meI will let you know how I get on

Thank you.again

Jan xx

Your Welcome Jan,my name is Jasmin,hence my user name jassoscared .yes do let me know how you get on . X

1. Thank you Jasmin I will x

Xxx

Hi there I have been to the chemo suite it was so busy. Can't say it was reassuring! I have appointment for pic line too. First session next week and I am very anxious! X

Good morning  Fluff.

I know what you mean about seeing the chemo unit for the first time,that's why i said its very daunting at first. Yes the chrmo unit where I went to ,was always very busy too.  The thought of having the  pic line inserted  did scare me when they explained to me how its put in etc,and the doctor who did it could only find one vein in my arm  that he said looked OK to use,it wasn't in an ideal place as the picture line had to sit at the inside of my top part of my arm and it kept rubbing on my body from time to time  which wasn't vety comfortable.  But it didn't hurt at all whilst it was being inserted  I can reasute you about that.  And hopefully you will have more than one vein thsts good enough to use  so more options of whete the pic line is placed.  Try to keep those positive thoughts in your head...your one step closer to kicking cancer to where the sun dont shine. Do something yoi really want to.do  or trest yourself to a nice perfume or something you've wanted for a long time the week before your chemotherapy starts it just makes you feel brighter and after all your worth it . Also I don't know if any of the chemotherapy staff in the unit yoir going to have given you any advice on what to bring in with you when you start your treatments. Its a good idea to pack a few treats like a sandwhich  , piece of fresh fruit bsnnana etc,a drink  biscuits  and a good book or a kindle or a small tablet,so you can play a game or watch a film . First chemo you will probably be so anxious about it  you will be like a deer in the headlights I know I was,I was absolutely petrified i just sat kinda frozen staring at the chemo drug's going into me thinking is it going to make me throw up etc,but No it didn't,it wasn't what id made it out to be in my head,so it was a pleasant surprise it really was. Im pretty sure you will be feeling just as anxious and scared as I was, and also so surprised at how much easier it really is.  I was given anti sickness pills around an hour before my Chemotherapy started ,and I didn't feel sick once and never was.  They also gave me steroids intravenously before chemo, that was strange,it made my female parts tingle for a split second was kinda funny lol,but they do tell you what to expect before so its kinda funny when thst happens feels like a butterfly fluttering for a split second ,gone as soon as you feel it. Oh and they do flush the pic line through  before every chemo,to make sure its working properly.  And every week you go to get it flushed through at weekends that you.dont have chemotherapy . Hope this info has helped and that  all goes well and like me ,you feel the first chemotherapy session isnt as bad as you had thought. Good luck  and hope to hear all about it soon .xx

Thank you so much again. Yes I am prepared with. My tablet with books and games. I am going to take some cheese and crackers to keep me going and of course a flask of cold drink and some  sweets as people say they have a horrible taste in their mouth Were you cold at all reading online people say to take a hoodie or similar and socks?

Jan x

Hi again 

My chemotherapy started in summer ending l December so in the earlier chemotherapy sessions whilst I was having it I never felt cold but in evenings I did ecspeacialy when I lost my hair  my little bald head used to feel cold in eves and in bed, so id wear a beanie hat or turban type headscarf/hat to bed. During nov/dec mths i did get cold,but thst could of been due to ut being colder ,a while ago for me si its hard to remember if I felt more colder than I would of felt if I wasn't undergoing my treatments  I know i did sit with a hot water bottle  and took one to bed with me I n winter mths,I do remember that.  But my advice would be to take a hoodie or warm cardigan ,socks with you ,just incase you do get side effects of feeling cold if not great but if you do  you've covered yourself better to be safe than sorry. Yes I love cheese and crackers too. And harribos lol. Ive been diognosed with a fatty liver now  so my diet has has to change.. I dont eat much dairy products and no red meats.  All my dairy products have to be low fat.  I eat a lot of plant based foods now too. I miss cheese the most,I.do have a baby bell light cheese once in a few mths . And if I go out to restaurants to eat I ususly have a chicken type dish ,or fish if they have it. But if there's no other choice  I will eat red meat  but do try to avoid it if I can. I  only used to drink alchol socially and don't go out thst much so that part doesn't worry me,I drink non alcholic wine or mocktail drinks. If I go out. I might splash our and have a spritzer once in a blue moon lol. Ive also been diognosed with high thyroid levels  and vin 3 pre cancerous cells of the vulva,which I'm.checked every year  by gynecologist, I also have gallstones  and I have half a bowel  from having a flat sessile polyp that contained cancer cells,so out came half of my  right sude of my bowel and small part of my intestine.  That was in 2015, thyroid problems are recent meant to go and have it checked by another blood test  but I haven't gone back  I hate blood tests I will eventually go,but I've got to push myself as I really hate them lol .Anyway do let me know how things go .xxx

My good you are certainly in the wars! Thank you for your reply when you have your own problems too!. Do go for the blood test Betty safe than sorry

Jan