Hello Rose 1965,

                              your feelings would be shared by everyone in your position without exception, putting them to one side feels impossible at the outset and its something you need to go through and get out of the way,but they are in no way silly, just the initial steps on your future journey.Get the "why me" question out of the way

Its your mindset with what follows this that will really count and could make the difference in your future outcomes, reognising this early on what you can bring  to the team of specialists that will be involved is beneficial.

Focused quite determination,stubborness, openess to possibilities,seeing self imposed stress as an ally to your enemy, discovering moments of calmness wherever and whenever you can find them, bringing forward the best you.

Its not all bad all the time if you allow yourself the opportunity, your mind gains clarity and cuts through the draff of everyday life, your eyes spot beauty in everyday places that you somehow glanced across before,they are the positives to balance out the negatives.

l trod a path ,as you now face doing ten years ago with a stage 4 diagnosis and chose the direction that led me to my second life. l hope you are able to tread gently along your own chosen route to do the same,

every success,

David