Hi I am having the same procedure on Wednesday I have found it doesn't matter what anybody says the fear is constantly with you ,I am the same ,I don't switch off at night neither.I think my fear is to find out what stage i am at.Hope you find something to help you .

Its all constant fear. I know its not happening to me, but my son, but its constant fear as to what theyre going to say. My son will be told the stage soon as well but hasn't got appointment through yet. Keep googling what I know so far about his tumour size and no spread etc to try and predict - it's driving me mad!

Hi the pins and needles with FLOT chemo is a *** and yesterday I woke up with a numb right hand. I was very worried that it might not go away however it seems to have eased off a bit today. Good luck. The treatment is such a nasty concoction of drugs and has been very emotionally draining due to the nasty side effects. However it does end and helped me to eat normally which is a plus. Hang in there 

Hi Karren 

Thank you for taking time to reply 

I hope your sons treatment is going as well as possible and he is responding well.

Fyi

The chemo side effects are cumulative/ build up so just watch out for it. 

This is second time around for Hubby and I guess that is why its so bothersome for him 

It had eased off inbetween times.

Its just hard watching him go thru it .

Thanks again for support

RB

Hi Boxbrain0

Thank you for taking time to reply and sharing your experience with this.

Hubby is on his second time around of chemo and it seems to be worse than before.

He has an appt this week with his team and going on past I suspect they will reduce the dose 

Which hopefully will help .

Take care of yourself too

Many thanx RB

Thanks for the advice. He's had a rough few days. Had chemo last Monday 31st and was fine up till Thursday and said he felt like he'd been poisoned and slept on & off for almost 2 and a half days. Upset tummy etc. Another 3 to go. Yes its awful seeing someone you love go through it isnt it. :(

Hi all. 
Getting prepped for the “Big Op” on Thursday. 
obvifeeling apprehensive but this is the way forward. 
I’ve picked up one of those old people chairs with the electrics on as it may be easier to sleep on once I’m out of hospital. 
it’s also “Takeaway Week” for me as I’ll be getting fed via a tube for a bit once I’m home. 

I know it’s bad to eat all that kind of stuff but it helps psychologically. 
Had chippy Saturday and went out for a curry last night

Eat what you want whilst you can !

Sending positive vibes for Thursday 

Well basically they are being poisoned the chemo is toxic eek

Did the med team give your Son meds for the tummy trouble?

The fatigue is part of it too

Depending on the chemo they can get very sensitive to cold too. 

So gloves

Does your Son have a Pic line in?

The temporary tattoo "arm" covers make a great and cheaper and less medicalised way of keeping it covered. 

We take each day at a time 

And I get out for a walk as often as possible to have some head space otherwise it is all about cancer...

Sending positive vibes

Take care  

Sorry to have missed this message Mouser. I thought about you this week more than once while at work of all places, remembering you have the op on 10th. Hope its gone well and I know you won't be up to message us all back yet but let us know how you are doing when u can. Great idea about the chair.

Hi, yes he does have a picc line. His tummy upset only lasted a few days but now he's just tired a lot. I keep trying to get him out for walks especially with the weather being so good the last 2 weeks. I go at least 3 times a week after work to the forest by where I live as yes, everything else is about cancer. Its not Dean making it that way, its me I find it hard not to think about it.

Hows your hubby doing now?

Hows your hubby doing now?

Hi Karen

Thank you for asking :-)

He has been extremely fatigued so not able to do much. 

From blood tests  he has  low iron ( another side effect) which they can treat so Im hoping that improves the tiredness for him.

Hard seeing our loved ones struggling I can only imagine how it must be as a Mum.

Hugs 

Sending positive vibes to everyone 

Hope the iron gives your hubby more energy. No need to answer if you don't want to but did your hubby have treatment a while ago and then it came back?

Hi Karen its okay

To clarify and to lessen your worry by comparing to something that doesnt apply....

Hubby has been palliative  treatment from the get go. He has secondaries else where

So yes he had treatment which gave him some relief for a few months

Athen it has grown again hence more treatment. .

The first time after completing the chemo the neurothapy improved  somewhat which was good and able to be more active etc.

The side effects are cumulative so this has flared it up for him 

Its hard to watch let alone go through it. And nothing I can do nor say makes it better .

Encourage Dean to be open and honest They can reduce the doses to make them more tolerable. 

It really is one day at a time Karen rotten cliche that it is 

And I looked it up the term for all this rollercoaster of emotions is anticipatory grief .....our loved ones are going through it and so are we 

It helped to know its a real thing

Any how I hope Dean gets some relief on Monday

Hubby turn Tuesday

Take care 

You're so right about nothing you can say or do makes it better, but we keep trying don't we, and we are there if they need us. Dean always says how lucky he is to not be going through this by himself, as he knows there are plenty of people who have absolutely no one & go home to an empty house.

Best vibes for Tuesday

Thankyou Karen 

Ditto for Dean 

Hi all so today I am now sitting outside the Cancer unit  and about to go in and have my CT scan done to see how the chemo has gone. I’m so scared of it as it’s yet another result to wait for. The operation absolutely terrifies me however so does not being able to have it. This silly damn disease just turns people into irrational looneys. You ladies that care are the most important people in our lives and it sometimes just needs a hand hold and nothing more. Our moods are up and down constantly and any time we seem irritable or just a moody git really is not meant against you. Sometimes just going through the doors of the hospital is so horrible but we try and pretend it’s ok. Thank you for all you do 

Hello Boxbrain0

Just picked up your message and I am moved at your words.

And want to say here for handholding venting hysterical laughter ( more me probably eek)

And any other shares.

I hope the CT scan brings good news / and the Cancer is doing a runner for you 

Sending Hugs

RB x

Everything you say I can identify with as I see it with Dean. He's been a right mardy git many times - still he was even before all this!

I hope you get really great results from your scan. As you have been able to eat so much more easily I'd take that as a very good sign its shrunk, but I get it that you don't try and anticipate with this.

Deans terrified of the op as well & I understand why. On the one hand you're 'lucky' if you can have it as so many can't but it looks an ordeal. At least you will have an amazing story to tell for years to come once you are through this part of it. I was only thinking this morning if only we could fast forward 12 - 18 months and it all be behind us.  

Hi Karen

Oh yep mood swings especially from steroids not fun to be on receiving end and horrible for our loved ones going through it.

A heads up the cancer and the chemo can cause low iron /anaemia which can add to the fatigue .

Hubby having to have blood transfusions to bring it back up so bare in mind and keep checking blood results.

Obviously not being able to eat a good diet doesnt help either.

Fear of the operation is understandable its not a small thing to undergo. Its not an option for hubby so cant say more than that.

Re looking back 

We have been on this path for over a year you quickly become all about the cancer and adapt to things but 

I see we are still dealing with "the new" every day

Sometimes it wears you out and you really dont "get it right" for your

Loved one but we are doing our best and we are all human.

..ultimately it really is one day at a time 

Id say 

Do stuff to keep you a float cos its a long road.so you dont lose yourself and also gives you the energy to be there.

I take my hat off to anyone enduring cancer treatments they are all awful grueling and traumatic. 

Strength to everyone

RB

Hi all. 
Hope everyone is as well as they can be. 
I can’t remember when I last posted on here , I’m assuming it was before the operation. 
im out after 11 nights in hospital im told I recovered extremely well. I won’t go into any gory details unless asked.  I’ve got a pipe for evening feeding ( 15 hrs drip fed with my own portable stand )  and I can eat what is described as sloppy food.

Shortneass of breath is a bit of a *** but I think that part of that is psychological. 
Once I’ve recovered enough it’s back to the chemo for another 2 months. 
typically my body hair has just started to regrow