Desperate for some hope please

My dad now 74,  was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer October 23, after quite a few rounds of chemo he was finally offered the whipple, they had also found an abscess on his liver but said they didn’t think it as cancer so he had the whippple surgery  June 24. They said they got everything out and it went well. We celebrated! However my dad’s recovery was very slow, he’s been in and out of hospital since June. He was meant to start more chemo to mop up everything, he’s not been able to do this cause they were concerned about what they thought was an abscess on the liver originally so they did a biopsy after this he was getting a lot of pain in his stomach, we waited and waited for the results and the first set back was to say it wasn’t an infection, then Friday 6th of September they got the results back and unfortunately they said it’s mets on the liver and possibly on the stomach lining. We were floored because  this “top man” who did the biopsy had said “if I was a betting man then I would say this is just in infection” so we just not prepared or ready for this news. As my dad is still so poorly they have said if he has chemo it may only give him 3-6 months, but we don’t think he will be well enough.
He’s  in pain but the morphine makes him feel sick and the anti sickness tablets don’t help so he’s not eating, Looking for any hope! Anything to help us, any help or support please. My family is just broken, I have not stopped crying or trying to find something online to help or give us hope. Thank you 

  • Very sorry to read your post Florida ,its really devastating and my heart goes out to you , he is at peace now but you will miss him forever ,its a terrible disease .

  • I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad passing away, my thoughts are with you at what must be an unbearable time. My Mother in law died in December 2019, before Covid so she didn't have the immunisation. Anger is a stage of grief, I lost my sister, my only sibling and best friend in 2021 and it was a massive shock that made me angry for quite a long time. She was only 48 and healthy and she just went to bed one night and didn't wake up. She died of heart failure never having had any problems before and she'd had all of her Covid immunisations up to that point. I battled with the thought that that was what had caused her death for months afterwards, it was pretty much all consuming at the time but I now think that I was looking for something to blame for such a senseless death. My very wise and brilliant daughter hid my laptop and phone one day, about 5 months after my sister died because I was spending all of my time online looking for answers that I now know I'd never have found. I ripped the house apart and screamed at her but she wouldn't tell me where they were and it was only when I really looked at her and saw how much I was upsetting her that I just broke down and realised how much I was hurting everyone around me and I stopped my search that day. I still haven't found any acceptance and I don't think that I ever will but as for the Covid immunisations I think that we're damned if we do and we're damned if we don't. A friend of mine didn't have the Covid immunisations and caught it and now has long Covid, she's gone from being a very fit and active 44 year old to not even being able to brush her own teeth most days. It's really debilitating, she rarely leaves her home anymore, she's had to have a stairlift and a wet room put in because she can't manage without it and sleeps for at least 16 hours every day and before this she was a total gym bunny and a runner and it's been so hard to watch her rapid decline. Its very early days for you so anger and blame are very natural emotions for you to be feeling right now but please don't become consumed with this and if you feel that you are please see your GP and ask for help. Trying to find answers nearly cost me my sanity and I know that my sister wouldn't have wanted that. Please keep in touch, I wish you and your family all the best and my heart really does go out to you at this painful time x