I lost my Mother in law to pancreatic cancer that had metastasised virtually everywhere and it was so quick and so sad to lose such an amazing and beloved lady. I'm glad to hear that your Dad is no longer in pain and my thoughts are with you at this heartbreaking time.

Thank you for replying and I am so sorry about your mother in law, they have said with dad it will just spread everywhere. I’m struggling as he’s not eaten in over a week and he can’t swallow or drink now and he asks to go but he also doesn’t want to go. 
Everyday feels like torture but I am also so grateful I get little moments with him when he was awake. 
I’m so sorry to ask but did you find your mother in law was just laying there each day waiting to go? I feel like we are just slowly killing him as no food, no fluid etc but he’s still fighting everyday. Xx

I'm so sorry I didn't reply sooner, life has been a bit hectic. She remained awake and fairly alert right until the end but she wasn't eating either although she was on a drip for fluids. She knew that she was going and I think she didn't want to miss out on anything, my Father in law didn't leave her side and was allowed to stay with her overnight and her children and Grandchildren were with her for as long as we were all allowed to be. I worried about tiring her out but she said that she'd rather we were all there because soon she wouldn't be. The last few days were really hard, she was very lucid and so scared, she was so tiny and her eyes looked huge and we had a conversation when I finally got 5 minutes alone with her and she said she was so worried about how everyone was going to cope without her but she said she needed to go because she couldn't stand the pain anymore. My oldest daughter was listening outside of her room and she came in and laid on her bed and cuddled up with her and told her that we'd all look after Granddad, my Father in law and 2 hours later she passed away. The position you're in is absolutely awful and I really feel for you. The only thing that I can say is that you cherish every moment that he's lucid, reassure him that he's much loved and tell him that it's okay to go now, he doesn't have to suffer anymore. The hospitals are generally really on top of it but if he expresses any pain don't be afraid to ask for more pain relief for him, at this stage the nurses and doctors will just want to make him as comfortable as he possibly can be. I really wish I could give you a hug, the situation is dreadful, you don't want to lose him but you don't want him to suffer anymore, I really do feel for you. You are both in my thoughts x

Thank you for replying, my dad unfortunately passed away on the 18th, we are absolutely devastated. Just can’t believe how quick it all was. Did your mother in law have the Covid jab by any chance? I have been seeing a lot more about this turbo cancer and my dad had everything you could then got pancreatic cancer. 
I just feel very angry and keep going over things constantly. 

Very sorry to read your post Florida ,its really devastating and my heart goes out to you , he is at peace now but you will miss him forever ,its a terrible disease .

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad passing away, my thoughts are with you at what must be an unbearable time. My Mother in law died in December 2019, before Covid so she didn't have the immunisation. Anger is a stage of grief, I lost my sister, my only sibling and best friend in 2021 and it was a massive shock that made me angry for quite a long time. She was only 48 and healthy and she just went to bed one night and didn't wake up. She died of heart failure never having had any problems before and she'd had all of her Covid immunisations up to that point. I battled with the thought that that was what had caused her death for months afterwards, it was pretty much all consuming at the time but I now think that I was looking for something to blame for such a senseless death. My very wise and brilliant daughter hid my laptop and phone one day, about 5 months after my sister died because I was spending all of my time online looking for answers that I now know I'd never have found. I ripped the house apart and screamed at her but she wouldn't tell me where they were and it was only when I really looked at her and saw how much I was upsetting her that I just broke down and realised how much I was hurting everyone around me and I stopped my search that day. I still haven't found any acceptance and I don't think that I ever will but as for the Covid immunisations I think that we're damned if we do and we're damned if we don't. A friend of mine didn't have the Covid immunisations and caught it and now has long Covid, she's gone from being a very fit and active 44 year old to not even being able to brush her own teeth most days. It's really debilitating, she rarely leaves her home anymore, she's had to have a stairlift and a wet room put in because she can't manage without it and sleeps for at least 16 hours every day and before this she was a total gym bunny and a runner and it's been so hard to watch her rapid decline. Its very early days for you so anger and blame are very natural emotions for you to be feeling right now but please don't become consumed with this and if you feel that you are please see your GP and ask for help. Trying to find answers nearly cost me my sanity and I know that my sister wouldn't have wanted that. Please keep in touch, I wish you and your family all the best and my heart really does go out to you at this painful time x

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad passing away, my thoughts are with you at what must be an unbearable time. My Mother in law died in December 2019, before Covid so she didn't have the immunisation. Anger is a stage of grief, I lost my sister, my only sibling and best friend in 2021 and it was a massive shock that made me angry for quite a long time. She was only 48 and healthy and she just went to bed one night and didn't wake up. She died of heart failure never having had any problems before and she'd had all of her Covid immunisations up to that point. I battled with the thought that that was what had caused her death for months afterwards, it was pretty much all consuming at the time but I now think that I was looking for something to blame for such a senseless death. My very wise and brilliant daughter hid my laptop and phone one day, about 5 months after my sister died because I was spending all of my time online looking for answers that I now know I'd never have found. I ripped the house apart and screamed at her but she wouldn't tell me where they were and it was only when I really looked at her and saw how much I was upsetting her that I just broke down and realised how much I was hurting everyone around me and I stopped my search that day. I still haven't found any acceptance and I don't think that I ever will but as for the Covid immunisations I think that we're damned if we do and we're damned if we don't. A friend of mine didn't have the Covid immunisations and caught it and now has long Covid, she's gone from being a very fit and active 44 year old to not even being able to brush her own teeth most days. It's really debilitating, she rarely leaves her home anymore, she's had to have a stairlift and a wet room put in because she can't manage without it and sleeps for at least 16 hours every day and before this she was a total gym bunny and a runner and it's been so hard to watch her rapid decline. Its very early days for you so anger and blame are very natural emotions for you to be feeling right now but please don't become consumed with this and if you feel that you are please see your GP and ask for help. Trying to find answers nearly cost me my sanity and I know that my sister wouldn't have wanted that. Please keep in touch, I wish you and your family all the best and my heart really does go out to you at this painful time x