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Lung cancer

Fayee
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Hi, new here and just need to talk to someone. 

my husband (56) was diagnoed with lung cancer this week.. he’s had the first biopsy on Tuesday. It’s inoperable as it involves the brohncis. 

I am terrified… completely in shock and dreading the results of the tests. 
I don’t like crying in front of him as I’m trying to be strong for him. How can I cope? Any advice would be welcomed. X

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    Hi Fayee,

     I don't know if I am actually going to be any help as I am as lost as you are! Maybe knowing you are not alone may help  

    My Husband is 46, We are waiting diagnosis but it doesn't look hopeful for us right now, from what we know right now we are looking at T4 N0/1 M0 but he has other tests pending on his prostate.

    My advice is cry! The emotion has to go somewhere and it is far healthier to come out than not. It is so terrifying right now not knowing what we are facing so i know exactly how you are feeling. I go from being optimistic that we can fight this to terrified of loosing him and what it will mean for the kids. I sometimes struggle with what to say to him as i cant make this better for him. What i said to get him to open up was I am so scared for you and I don't know what to do. 

    Right now the big things are outside our control and all we can do is hope that they can get through this. I find focusing on the little things help, I can ensure he is not in pain, he is comfortable and that he is getting the right nutrition to help, I can take care of the kids and the finances. Having things I can control and do help me get through day to day.

    Im hoping I've helped in some small way and I am here if you ever want to talk xx

  • Offline in reply to Cath1875

    We found the best way of coping was to focus on the “what now” rather than the “what might”. Depending on his diagnosis and health your husband could be facing surgery, radiotherapy and chemotherapy. All these will be tough but, if you can, try to concentrate on the day to day. Speculating about the future, the ifs and buts, sends me crazy. It happens sometimes in the small hours of the morning when I can’t sleep but I do everything I can to avoid it if possible. It was enough to cope with getting to the radiotherapy session every day for 6 weeks, or coping with the side effects of the various treatments. We all react differently to this horrible thing but I try to find something pleasant and positive in each day.

  • Offline in reply to Cath1875

    Hi Cath1875

    thank you so much for your reply, I hope you’re doing ok. 
    your husband is much younger than mine, I am sorry that you’re going through this too.. when DH get more results? 
    Mine has more scans etc this week on Fri to find out if the cancer has spread. 

    much love x

  • Offline in reply to Jonker

    Thank you for the kind words. I love that idea of having a positive to focus on each day.

    I'm hoping it gets easier once the diagnosis comes not knowing and fearing the worst is a special kind of torture! 

  • Offline in reply to Fayee

    You are so welcome, I saw your post and it is exactly how I've been feeling!

    I will be holding you in my thoughts on Friday. Just day by day and route until you get to the results. I know how hard this is! allow yourself a wobble you are only human and this earth shattering for anybody x

    We have an appointment on Friday for his prostate, but nothing further for his lung at the moment which is maddening! He has so far had a CT, PET scan and a biopsy and we don't yet have a diagnosis. He was originally being treated for an abcses but after the PET scan light up very strongly the did a biopsy. There was not enough from the biopsy for a diagnosis. They need to take more of the mass for testing. I have asked if we could still be dealing with infection and have been told it is very unlikely as the mass hasn't changed with Antibiotics and there are A typical cells present (I don't fully understand this!) The mass is taking up over half of hid left lung so will be T4 without question. On his PET scan his prostate also lit up but the consultant doesn't think they are linked, so I don't know if we could be dealing with two separate primary cancers. There are so many unanswered questions right now. 

    I just have to keep breathing and keep everything as normal as I can for the kids until we know.

    If you are struggling reach out, we can wobble together xx

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