Today was the day - single Mum newly diagnosed with breast cancer

Hey everyone,

I've read lots of these posts and been overwhelmed by the support everyone receives so I guess that's why I'm posting!

Today I was diagnosed with HER2+ breast cancer. I'm not sure if it's sunk in yet even with the amount of times I've said it. 

I am 44 and a single mum of two children 10 & 13, so was in the mind set I was too young for cancer even after finding the lump and being told it was suspicious. I went today with a glimmer of hope it was not going to be cancer.

My mum died of breast cancer in 2015 so I have seen the impact it has on lives. I am worried I am going to struggle to juggle work, children, hospital appointments etc as I so want to be strong for my children. The added pressure of being a single mum is huge as it is without throwing an illness in the mix.

My doctor has a plan and is positive it is treatable. Chemo, CT Scan to stage it, then surgery once the chemo has done it's thing. 

I have told my children as I believe they need to know and they need to process things and understand what's going on. They took it was better than I thought which was encouraging but I'm fully aware they may not have processed it yet.

I guess I just wanted to write all this down somewhere to hear from people in similar situations.

Thanks for reading,

Vicky.

  • Start EC chemo next week. Have a wig fitting tomorrow but hopefully won’t need it if I can stand the cold cap. Will let you know how I get on. Apparently first 15 mins is the worst. I’m taking a blanket to keep me warm. Good luck with surgery x 

  • Hi Smudge24. I hope all goes well I your surgery. Please let us know how you get on. I have my surgery next Wednesday.  X

  • So I had surgery yesterday. They took the lump and two sentinel lymph nodes. I woke up feeling great. Didn’t sleep last night probably because I was so well rested after general anaesthetic- or worried I’d knock the wound. Still feel good today. Now have the long wait to see if they’ve got all the clear margins they need and fingers crossed the nodes are clear of microscopic cells. That’s what worries me most. 

    RedRuth84, what kind of surgery are you having? Is it before chemo? I can’t remember if you’ve already said? 

    Vitchy, good luck for chemo. How many rounds do you need? Is yours before surgery? I plan on also trying the cold cap. 

  • Hi Smudge24. I am glad you are doing well after surgery. That's great to hear. Long may it continue.  I am having a lumpectomy and  partial reconstruction as they are having to take the overlying skin as its too close to the skin. They will take skin and other tissue from.around my bra line under my arm round towards my back.  They'll also take between 1 and 4 lymph nodes. I have had tamoxifen before surgery and likely radiotherapy afterwards. X

  • Were you her2 negative? Mine is positive which is why I need chemo afterwards. Will find out the exact route when I meet oncologist after recovery x

  • Yes HER2 - and ER +.   How long did they say it would be before you see an oncologist? They've told me pathology after the operation is taking 4-5 weeks of more which seems like a really long time. X

  • They said 6 weeks recovery from surgery then I’ll talk to oncologist. If I don’t need any more surgery because the margins are ok from lumpectomy, I’m going on holiday before starting chemo. It was booked before we knew and we thought we’d have to cancel but if luck goes our way, we’ll get to go away before starting the long road of chemo.  It’s all the waiting around that’s hard. You maybe don’t need chemo because of the her2 negative status. How big is your tumour? In terms of the lymph nodes, I assume scans have not picked up any on you either? I was given a radioactive injection next to my nipple the afternoon before surgery and it starts to drain away through the sentinel nodes. Because the radioactive stuff drained into 2 of my nodes, those were the ones they took. Sometimes it can be 1 or up to 4. I just hope there’s no microscopic cancer cells in them. 

  • Are you any further forward with scans Vicky? How are you and the children? I told my two children a few days ago so they understood why I was having surgery. The oldest was visibly upset, he’s the sensitive one. But I think they’re reassured seeing me at home. 

  • Hi 

    Hope they managed to get the all clear margins. Start chemo EC next Wednesday. Every 2 weeks for 12 weeks. Bloods and picc line fitting on Tuesday. I’m giving the cold cap a go. Yesterday I tried some wigs on which was hilarious ( I know I shouldn’t laugh) 

  • Smudge24 l, I will keep my fingers crossed for you that you can go on holiday!  My tumour is 44mm x 38mm (so quite large from what I gather on here). How big is yours? 

    I also noted you told your children recently. How old are they? I've got to tell my just turned 5 and nearly 7 year old this weekend and I'm dreading it. 

    Yes I'm in for the same injection to identify the lymph nodes.  Fingers crossed that all of our lymph nodes are clear.