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I’m in denial about my cancer diagnosis, It feels like an out of body experience. Has anyone else felt like this?

claris441
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Morning 

I was called for a routine appointment for my breasts. I got a letter asking me to go back because they were a mass that needed further investigation. I was then diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma stage 3. I’ve since had the lumpectomy and lymph node biopsies for which I will get the results on Thursday. Is it still odd that I still don’t think I have cancer and that it almost feels like an out of body experience. It’s only because I can see my scars that I know I’ve had something done. I have been signed off work since my diagnosis as I had to come off my HRT and I was a complete **** before I found the right dosage. I would have outbursts or randomly cry. So I’ve had my antidepressants increased but my mind still keeps going dark but I’m not sure if that’s because I haven’t accepted my diagnosis.

any suggestions are appreciated 

thank you

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    I can totally understand this..I do think you block it out of your mind.. every now and then I get a wave of emotion. But feeling that way 24/7 would have a massive effect ..so I think this is why. Its sometimes a very lonely place to be..staying strong because if you show weakness of fear you are met with a barrage of comments about being positive. Usually from people who have never been through it..ive i have found the support I received in February after diagnosis has tailed off..hence why I'm here. Just sometimes an ear without a response is all you want. I totally understand how you feel. I do hope life eventually settles down for you..xx

  • Offline in reply to Paintgirl

    Hi Paintgirl

    I just wanted to join in …..

    Having got up early this morning after sleeping a few hours, I found what you’ve said really comforting. Since I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster. 

    I’m letting my feelings and emotions just happen. 

    If I feel really sad … that’s OK …. and if I feel anything else … that is OK too…

    I hope you feel that you’ve been listened to …

    My Best Wishes X

  • Offline in reply to Henri

    Hi again Henri 

    I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad and Uncle …. that’s tough. Loosing loved ones and cancer … that’s just too much …..

    I was up early this morning and loved the bird song in the garden.

    I hope you’re OK

    Take care

  • Offline in reply to Jstaves

    It is all very unpredictable and we live day by day..this is not a normal way of life for me I like to be very structured.. that has all gone out of the window..surrounding yourself with people who understand is the only way forward. Life changing really..but maybe not a bad thing there are some fantastic people out there who are fantastic because they understand...xx

  • Offline in reply to Paintgirl

    It’s true that this is all very unpredictable. It’s tough that this has messed up the structure that you’d like to be there. Support from people who understand makes all the difference. That’s why I joined cancer chat. It means the world to me.

    Take care x

  • Offline in reply to Jstaves

    Yes I agree. All of us have one thing in common. It’s nice to know that others are out there that understand. I’m having to rethink how I look after myself. I’m only recently diagnosed and it just hasn’t sunk in. I still feel it’s happened to someone else. Thanks for being there and taking the time to chat. I find it difficult opening up and I’m not good at social things. This is just so relaxing and therapeutic. 

    thank you all xx

  • Offline in reply to Henri

    Thanks for your concern. It is too much at times so I cry. I feel a sense of healing but all is a blur. The birds are about today which is nice. Look after yourself as best you can xx

  • Offline in reply to Henri

    Take care everyone...hopefully in the future we can talk about this as a memory..and not our current life..although life will probably never be the same again...but at least we will understand people we come across in the future and can help them xx

  • Offline in reply to Paintgirl

    What a lovely thought. It’s good and positive that you can look ahead. Stay strong. Xxxx

  • Offline in reply to Henri

    Hi again Henri

    I also find it hard to talk about my feelings, I try doing therapeutic yoga, but there are times when I need to talk to someone in a safe and private space. It means so much that I can be supported in this way.

    I just want to say a really BIG THANK YOU.

    Take care 

    X

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