Hi Poodle,

Well done - I'm in awe of you! I won't ask you what the view was like, because if you're anything like me, you wouldn't have seen much of it.

It sounds as if your mum's surgeon still considers surgery as an option, which is reassuring. Did they say what type of cancer she has and what stage it is? 

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

I only saw the insides of my eyelids lol. She has a stage 3B invasive ductal carcinoma 

Hi Poodle,

I'm not surprised, but good on you for doing it!

The only thing that surgery might prevent is your Mum's breast from fungating. I don't know whether this is even a possibility for her,

but, if it is, this might make her change her mind. Maybe this is a question to ask her care team?

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Well mums cancer lump has grown significantly since she moved in. Thankfully she decided she wants it cut out so We’ll be telling her oncologist on Wednesday 

Hi Poodle,

I am so sorry to hear that your mum has stage 3 invasive ductal carcinoma and that you notice such a change in it already. I am glad to hear that she has decided to go ahead with surgery, and hope that this will be the right decision for her. Your brother and his wife should feel happier about this too.

I hope that her oncologist has some plans in place for treatment and that she can have surgery quickly.

Please let us know how she fares on Wednesday.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

So our doctor had to come out yesterday to give mum something stronger for the pain she is in. He gave us a photocopy of the letter her oncologist had sent to him. In it, it states she has stage 4 inflammatory breast cancer (Which is not what he told us at her diagnosis meeting on the 4th January). He felt her lump & said it has grown expediently since he last saw her 10 days ago & he was very worried about the red tracks that have appeared & are heading towards her collar bone. We told him she has had the last 3 appointments to see the oncologist have been cancelled & the latest 1 she has been given is the 24th March. He asked what her Palliative care nurse has said she would do about it we told him no 1 had been to see her. We spoke for almost an hour when we all came to the same conclusion the oncologist had without talking or informing us or him had decided to let her cancer run its course. He also said because the cancer had progressed so quickly we should prepare ourselves for her passing to be much sooner than we were given. To say all of us are angry & disgusted about it all, apart from mum who still doesn’t seem to bothered in fact is happy that dad has been coming to her in her dreams. So today I’m ,under our doctors advice, will be making an appointment to see our solicitor. 

Hi Poodle,

I am so sorry to hear this news. I found that I still had to ask to get my mum's pain medication increased, even when she was in the hospice, so this is something to keep an eye on. I would have thought that even if the consultant had decided to send her home to let the cancer run its course, he should have arranged for a visit from the palliative care team. Have you been provided with a hospital bed? This can be a big help if continence is an issue. I find it hard to believe that you weren't  given the right diagnosis by the oncologist. Even if some of the later tests had shown the cancer to be more advanced than originally thought, he should have told you this - I would be furious. Does this mean that surgery is no longer an option?

The one plus in all of this is the fact that your mum seems ready to go and join your dad. To have had 3 oncology appointments cancelled and then to have to wait until 24th March for another is shocking. Has your GP now arranged for the palliative care team to come out, and did the medication that he prescribed help her pain?

This must be so frustrating for you, when you naturally want the best possible care for your mum.

You are in my thoughts and I am always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

My beautiful mum peacefully and gracefully passed away at 4.27am yesterday morning. 

Hi Poodle, 

I just came across your post and wanted to offer you my heartfelt condolences for your loss.

I'm sure Jolamine will be along when she can to offer her support to you as well but I just wanted to reassure you that your post has been seen and let you know that we are thinking of you at this difficult time.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Thank you for your condolences. We knew at the weekend she was reaching the end so we were heartbreakingly ready. She looked so beautiful when she went to meet my dad