Thanks for your reply. It's nice to know there is someone out there.

it's hard to take it all in. Not sure if you know. If you have chemotherapy with Herceptin before surgery, how do they know if the cancer has spread? Obviously the chemotherapy treats all cancer, they had originally said surgery including sentinel node biopsy, but after chemotherapy any cancer in the lymph nodes would have been treated.

if you don't know, hopefully someone else will. I will ring the breast care nurse tomorrow to ask.

Naughy

trust your team they will do everything they possibly can to make you cancer free , you definitely will be , it's a journey but you will do it and stand tall afterwards.

I didn't have chemo so can't tell you what that's like I had lumpectomy and then 2 nd operation removing 30 nodes then radiotherapy and now take tamoxifen mine was her2 - negative 

love Lara ️

Hi

i am in exactly same boat as you! I'm 44 and both HER + 

I start chemo next Friday.....it's so daunting?! I'm having 8 sessions of chemo, surgery and then radiotherapy! I too have bought the book for reading whilst going through all this? I'm struggling tiday with my anxiety, racing thoughts and especially the thought of losing my hair!!! We have got this though! It's just such a ln emotional rollercoaster!!!! Xx

Hiya. My wife went through 4 (or maybe 5) cycles of EC, then 3 docetaxel. She found the first 2 EC chemos fine, but began to feel the effects on the 3rd. Nothing major in the grand scheme of things, but yeah, it was around the 3rd she took a bit longer to recover. Truth be told, she found the steroids affected her more on a day to day level than the EC chemo. She struggled to sleep. Let me tell you too, she was very argumentative on them too. We had a few arguments.

Chemo tends to be accumulative, so many people find the first ones ok. but it is a very personal thing, and what one person experiences on chemo, isn't what the next person experiences. She was bothered with her gums, and oral thrush, so I would suggest, the first sign of mouth issues, nip them in the bud. What seems a nothing thing in the bigger picture, can actually become pretty major if ignored. A sore mouth can stop you from eating, and even drinking, and it's important you do both for obvious reasons during your chemo. She bought a bona fide baby toothbrush (some folk just stick with very soft adult brushes) because oral health is also very important. So I'd maybe buy one prior to any issue kicking in. Again, though, not everyone gets oral problems, so you might never need to alter your dental habits. But it's better to have one in the house than to run around at 10pm in Tescos finding one, like what happened to us.

Thank you for that advice. I had read about oral issues. As you said I think I'll buy a baby toothbrush in advance. 
I'll warm my husband about being argumentative!

most of all thank you for replying.

It's been a emotional today meeting my grown up kids to find they are struggling with my diagnosis and how it's affects their work. Some people have been kind and understanding of what they are dealing with others not so. It's hard that I'm the one normally helping them. I was apologising for being ill, even though it's not my fault.

I've been debating getting my hair cut into a pixie cut in advance of losing my hair. Not even sur Eid they have cold caps to help. Will you be able to use a cold cap?

Thanks for replying. Good luck on Friday. I hope I can get my MRI soon so I can start this rollercoaster.

The arguments don't matter a jot, it's how you make up afterwards that matter. The arguments served a purpose insofar as it allowed both of us to let of steam. We never went to bed on an argument. Sometimes nonsense is said, that you think "wow", but yeah, they were forgotten about 30 mins later.

Something we found funny was when we mentioned this to the oncologist during one of her appointments. He laughed, and said he gets a few couples in that are barely on speaking terms due to the steroids. Not everyone gets argumentative, but the wife did. Probably a combination of the steroids and lack of sleep. No one mentions the lack of sleep, but when on steroids, it is a very real thing. You associate sleeping more often with a cancer diagnosis. We didn't experience that at all. The wife wished she had, and she wished someone had warned her about that too.

Hi there 

I'm using the cold cap! Well I hope to be able to persevere with it? The emotional rollercoaster is unreal isn't it??? 

my hair is bobbed at the moment and the thought of this potentially being my last weekend with hair is upsetting! I've cried all day?! But I'm trying my hardest ti stay positive!! My son is 19 and I don't like showing him I'm upset but today he did! 
I apologised to my cousin today for being upset and me feeling like

il depressing ti be around but she told me to stop!! anyway we are on a journey, a *** one at that but will make us stronger people!!

I have pre assessment Wednesday so I'll know more then!! Hope ur ok xx

Hi Sorry it’s been so long since I posted. 

It’s been a roller coaster of a few weeks. MRI found something in left boob as well, needed biopsy, wait for results. It’s another tumour. As I was HER+ they had considered combination chemotherapy and Herceptin/Perjeta in July before surgery, then oncologist found out full family history of heart issues (Herceptin/Perjeta can cause heart problems) and the MDT team changed their mind. Surgery first then single chemotherapy and Herceptin only to try to prevent issues with heart. 

I’m now 11 days post surgery, bilateral wide local excision with bilateral sentinel node biopsies. Im black and blue with every shade in between. I was really sick after the surgery and went home at 8pm.Took codeine for two days which caused terrible constipation even with lactulose! Started feeling really nauseous day two after surgery, spoke to BC nurse and she thinks I’ve still got anaesthetic, morphine and codeine still in my system and I don’t react well to it. Surgeon on the day had thought that maybe the sickness was due to morphine rather than anaesthetic, some people get the worse effects not the good ones. Later in week spoke to GP who prescribed anti sickness tablets, which have helped a lot, I can eat a bit more now. As it was bilateral there is a lot I can’t do as both sides are affected. They don’t really say much about recovery apart from keep wounds covered and dry for 2 weeks when they can be removed and don’t lift anything heavy for 4 weeks. I struggled to close the front door and open a heavy car door as I dont have a good side. 

@Leanne1202 How is your treatment going?, How was the cold cap? Like you I had a bob which I had cut short a couple of weeks ago for chemotherapy even though it is delayed til mid August I decided to go ahead. It was ok, I felt it was more my choice, not fully obviously. I’m getting used to it, the best thing is ruffle with my fingers and it’s done, no brushes or styling needed. Read a few threads saying cold caps don’t fit too well and shorter hair is easier than longer and my was also quite thick.