Manage it 

bless you 

dies it say on letter palliative I can't see how they can say this without even a biopsy 

love Lara ️

Hi Managingit, I'm really sorry to hear this - that is a lot of information to process. There seem to be a few things they need to confirm/rule out with biopsies and further investigations. The specialist team will have a more in-depth idea of what is available to you. Once you get the full picture, it will be easier to think through all the questions running through your head. You will be assigned a specialist nurse who will have a wealth of experience and be able to support you xx

Thank you. I think being a retired nurse helped me get a handle on it and deal with it earlier. I wanted the truth and I got it. 

It is such an aggressive progression of symptoms in such a short time that it does not look good. If biopsy proves it is an aggressive cancer it is simply not worth going through the treatment as it is a death sentence and "palliative" is just looking after the patient going through it.

I have just told my son and daughter which was not easy but downplayed it a little.  I was going to leave it but they both need to be involved if I dont have much time.

But my daughter is a nurse so insisted on the report so that blew that tactic. The report is not good with wording like "an extensive infiltration carcinoma with malignant type calcifications... a further cancer... at least 8cm...satelite lesions...stromal distortion...linear extensions and prominant axillary lymph nodes...pathologically involved lymph nodes noted, measuring 11 mm... 5cm in length" etc etc. She will be more upset when she reads it.

I am afraid there is no doubt I am in serious trouble. Does not help that I have serious pain in my breast since the mammogram and it is getting worse every day.

managingit

i want to send you a wrap around hug to try and help comfort you. please wait to see the specialist . I know you fear the worst but hold on. Try to take one day at a time, you have been dealing with so much, I hope you have some support in place . Is your GP offering you help ?

sending you care and peace x

Thank you. No mention of support yet as an urgent biopsy is priority first. Doctor appeared more shocked and holding back tears but I was a bit in shock to do that.  All takes time to sink in I guess. I so value the information and support on this site, thank you.

Sorry for the confusion Lara, no the report did not have palliative care on it, the GP gave me examples of multiple types of cancers and treatment. I think it was inflammatory breast cancer she was talking about.

She was great at explaining why you don't do a mastectomy first as you don't want to cut it when it is angry or it spreads far quickly. Settle it down with chemo first.

Manageinit 

my heart breaks gif this you having to tell your daughter and family big hugs 

I think when you see your consultant you will have some light on this for sure this will calm things down and you will get a full clear picture and plan x 

love Lara ️

Hi again Managingit, your medical background gives you much more of a grasp on the report and I'm sorry it has been such a difficult read. Sending you moral support and also hope that you get pain relief prescribed soon so that you can continue to get out and about with your lovely dog xx

Hello managingit,

My heart goes out to you too. It's horrible.

I remember having to tell my kids. I was only 44 at the time and I was straight to stage 4 (I still can't talk about it without crying). Mine was invasive ductal carcenoma throughout both of my lungs and liver as well as other places.

I am now 56 and still managing my disease with great help from my wonderful oncologists. I will have been on "palliative" treatment for 12 yrs come July. One fabulous kind professor told me once that "It's not terminal till you're dead" and he was right.

My advice would be to take it steady. One day at a time and try only to worry about the stuff you know as fact otherwise it can get too overwhelming.

Sending you all best wishes,

Mary

Xx

Great advice Mary. X