Hello DeeDee, I feel quite akin to your feelings.Apart from the actual day I found out and had a mini melt down in the shower on my own,I have really just cracked on with it too.Mine was a shock as I'd been treated for a bad back for 18 months,Sciatic pains etc,even had an MRI which showed 2 bulging discs.I was referred to physio where they assessed me and had me doing exercises.The pain got sooo bad and was keeping me awake every night so my Husband insisted we went privately.The Doctor put me at ease and thought it would be Trochanteric Bursitis and would be cured with and injection in the muscle,He sent me off for an MRI of my lower back hip and thigh.I came out of that and was then told I needed an X-ray and to return that night to see a different Doctor.He also asked if I had any other lumps? We returned that night and I was told fairly bluntly that I had a huge mass in my thigh and the shadow on my femur was cancer.He thought the mass would be a tumour.

I had to go home and wait for a CT scan.Then another MRI,then a biopsy. In my head I was thinking I'd be losing my leg.Eventually the biopsy came back saying it was aggressive follicular B cell Non Hodgkins  lymphoma and the lymphoma in my thigh was stage 4.The people that did my biopsy saw no reason for my femur to be strengthened,it then snapped like a twiglet a couple of weeks after and I had to be fitted  with a gamma nail from hip to knee.I then started chemo the next week. I can't believe I've done it,18 weeks.
I'm just waiting for my PET scan to see if it's gone now..I think I was more worried about everyone else being worried so I have kept it all quite light hearted.There are bad days,but not soo bad.

if I can help in anyway,I'd be pleased to.

Take care,Tory 

So sorry to hear that you have been through the mill Tory. Thank you for your reply too.

I think I have switched off as no one likes to hear the word Cancer. My close friends have been a god send and are very supportive and so have my family. I don't know how much my girls understand so don't push, they say I'm still nagging so must be fine. Kids eh! However I do feel like a fraud as others suffer far worse than me. 

I am just waiting for my review as my consultant took a rather long holiday after my op to see what steps are next.

Used Dr Google for tips to help vocal chord damage and any exercises which will help as I want breathing back to normal. Only basic info given to me really from a consultant at hosp.

1 day I did feel sorry for myself I got a good talking to from mum as she doesn't want me sinking into a depression I think so I paint a smile and carry on.

And yes we find ourselves on a path we must follow to the end, with possible bumps on the way. 

My bumps have been the "worst case scenarios" painted at hospital visits which have happened to me. It it wasn't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all as they say lol.

Onwards and upwards. Today was better than yesterday and tomorrow will be better than today I am sure.

Keep smiling