Thank you for your kind words Violet your kind words of support, I am so glad I found this page.. 

The kindness of others is so nice as I felt so alone. I am sure I will have more wobbles 

but I am happy in the knowledge I have support on here from others who know exactly what I am feeling .. 

x x

Hope you managed to relax and sleep well last night. You've plenty of friends to chat to, any time you want remember, hope you can keep more sure and positive today. 

Billy xx 

How was your night last night?  As billy also said, I hope last night was better for you.

But the heat, though! I struggled last night with a window wide open and a fan going full pelt.  Had to wash all the bed covers as it was one sweaty and unpleasant night. Us Scot aren't made for anything over 15c :laugh:

Hi Billy my night wasn't too bad as I was prescribed a sleeping tablet, just freaked out though as I voided up dark brown Phelm ... having a bit of a meltdown as my temperature is normal ... xx 

Hi my night wasn't too bad as I was prescribed a sleeping tablet, just freaked out though as I voided up dark brown Phelm ... having a bit of a meltdown as my temperature is normal . Fighting googling .... we are lucky in my house as we have two air conditioners that we got a few years ago so we can always be cool as yes the mister cannot cope with the hest when we vidpdit other peoples houses... it is extremely hot though... a tip is to put your shhet in the fridge I hear x 

So yesterday was a bit horrific with my mental heath and I was helped tremendously on here by you all but especially by @mare ... you are all so wonderful... so the voice it my head now has a name and it's the gremlin.... the gremlin was telling me I was stage 4 triple negative with a 4 inch tumour.... went to sleep with the aid of a sleeping tablet and have decided to name my antibodies SAS soilders .... woke up today and decided I need to speak to my specialist nurse to find out my receptors.... had to go for a diabetic blood test and the only way to get to it is past a cemetery...... amoral wooo....   so from 10.30 - 16.45 I was in a major melt...(wouldn't  get off the sofa) my nurse  telephoned me and said ok what do you need to know.... I then explained I think I am triple neg and what is going to happen with this 4 inch tumour in my body .. this is where it gets good.... she said what 4in h tumour ... yours is 43 mm... I told her the radiologist said it was 4inchs at the time of my scan... well it isn't she said I am telling you it's a 43 mm which although is large is definitely not over 100mm ... my receptors are ER negative and PR positive ... not going to google but someone else did it for me ... I think it means I with have to take hormones after chemo and surgery ... my nurse said I will need to be tested for Her2 .... don't know what that means yet so will ask someone to google  that for me as well please... 

still terrified as Nuclear scan tomorrow and CT scan Saturday.... 

I told you it wouldn't be inches, so in theory it's shrink already to under half size, that's a good start. 

Hope you can sleep well tonight and be a bit more relaxed. 

Sleep well. Night night. 

Billy xx

Lol... thank you Billy... 

good night cc

You could tell by the opening post you hadn't taken much in (which is normal and why you should either take someone else in with you or take a notebook with you).

So over the space of 1 phone call, the cancer has shrunk considerably without any treatment, isn't triple negative and you're staying off Google. Hopefully now, it will allow you to shed some of that stress and get you more good sleeps between now and the scans/results.