Hi Jade, so sorry about your mum.  What stage is the cancer and what is the treatment plan for your mum?  It is entirely natural to worry about those we love when they become ill and as soon as we hear the 'C' word, we tend to panic.  Jade, is it possible that if you are struggling with work at the moment that you could ask for some compassionate leave to be with your mum?  When I found out that my mum had cancer, I took compassionate leave from my job so that I could take care of her.  This is just a suggestion which you might want to consider.  You have had a big shock Jade and it will take some time to process the news about your mum, but you will find the strength to get through this, good luck to you and your mum, Violet, xx

Jade

Hi Jade just wanted to say its very natural the way your feeling  about hearing the news that your mum been diognosed with breast cancer  your bound to feel anxious and worrird as your mum goes through what ever her oncologist treatment plan will be. I can honestly say when a family member or very close friend is diognosed with cancer , it becomes your cancer in a way as well as you will all be going through it with your loved one. I don't know if you've been told what size the tumour is what grade it is  what kind of breast cancer ,as there is more than one type,and depending on all of this will determine the treatment plan. 

I was diognosed with breast cancer  grade 2 ,my tumour was 2cm ,and it had spread to my lympth nodes. It was estregen receptive it was feeding of my estrogen hormones  so im.now on Letrazole for 10 year's .I had a lumpectomy ( the lump and margins around the tumour were cut away ) and all of my lympth nodes were removed as it had spread into 3 of them. I was diognosed in May 2020 I had operation in June 2020. 8 rounds of chemo which I finished on Dec 14th 2021,and  15 rounds  of Radiotherapy which I finished on March 30th 2021.So I'm going to tell you I was so scared,but it wasn't as bad as I'd imagined ,I had a few hiccups with the paxitaxol chemotherapy but nothing that wasn't sorted,and I got through it ,also  25 roundsRadiotherapy it doesn't hurt  near tge completion of the 25 sessions you get a bit sore like sunburn, but nothing you cant desl.with. E45 cream helos with that,  yes you feel tired  but you must expect that. I can honestly tell you I thought I'd be sick not be able to eat but the anti sickness tablets they gave me were amazing ,I didnt feel sick once. And the steroids they gave me before the chemo made me very hungry lol, I wasn't expecting that i actuallyput weight on . I got through it,as they really look after you,they really do.  

Of course your mum will be scared,but she will also be putting on her brave face about it all,that's what us mums do,but once your mums treatment plan is given to her,she will be anxious like I was,but once your mum starts it and realises it isn't as bad as what she imagined  she will go through it im sure. Staying positive is the key,it really, really is. Don't be too hard on yourself for feeling like you do after all it's your mum and I'm sure she is your world, just as you are to your mum. 

Try to stay calm for your mum's,  sake. Tell your mum she's got this tell her she will realise just how strong she really is and will be  ( once shes started her treatments) .I truly realised this myself,my son was diognosed with testicular cancer ,just before I found my l breast cancer lump ,so I realy do know what it's like for you ,and your mum.

If you need a friend to talk to if your worried about anything you can always pop on here and leave me a reply, or if youd rather it be more private add me as a friend if you so wish too and message me privately.  

I do hope my post has brought you some comfort,I'm still here ,so is my son,we both had different types of cancer,but we both got through it with our treatments  and the great care we both got from the NHS ,got us there. Good luck to you and your lovely mum and all your family.  As I said I'm here if you need to talk.