Hello there Suty,

Sorry to hear about your breast cancer diagnosis.  It's a very difficult time isn't it.  You will find a lot of support in this forum.

My 3 children are much older and it was still absolutely heartbreaking finding the right time to tell them, so I completely understand how hard you are finding this.  Everyone advises complete honesty, and I agree, but everyone is different and only you will know how your children will cope with the news.  
I didn't tell my kids until I had all my test results confirmed.  I was tempted to tell them earlier when I was backwards and forwards to the breast clinic having biopsies, but didn't.  Once I knew everything and what I was dealing with I told them and kept it casual and chatty, no dramas (I think we were out walking the dog).

You can be totally honest without using the word cancer.  I couldn't bring myself to use the word even though mine are older, so explained 'my suspicious cells' that were being removed in an operation. and that I'd have to take medication afterwards.  I told them I'd feel tired for a while and wouldn't be able to do so much after the operation, but that the Drs were sorting me out and had told me I'd be okay a little while afterwards.  They were fine with it, and carried on with their day, no anxiety, so I felt I'd used the right approach for my lot.  They knew it was cancer but we got through the whole thing without using the 'C' word.  Maybe this may be a useful approach for you too, especially as yours may find the association frightening.  
 

The only other thing I did was tell my youngest's tutor in school so that he could go to her if he felt upset or anxious.  School were amazing and checked up on him from time to time.  He was fine.
 

The only thing my kids asked me was "are you protecting us and not telling us the full truth" and I responded that everything I had been told by the Drs and nurses I had told them, and that we all had to trust what they were saying.

Good luck and wishing you all the best.  I recovered very quickly from my mastectomy with very little pain, it's really not as bad as it sounds!

Mary

Hello there Suty,

Sorry to hear about your breast cancer diagnosis.  It's a very difficult time isn't it.  You will find a lot of support in this forum.

My 3 children are much older and it was still absolutely heartbreaking finding the right time to tell them, so I completely understand how hard you are finding this.  Everyone advises complete honesty, and I agree, but everyone is different and only you will know how your children will cope with the news.  
I didn't tell my kids until I had all my test results confirmed.  I was tempted to tell them earlier when I was backwards and forwards to the breast clinic having biopsies, but didn't.  Once I knew everything and what I was dealing with I told them and kept it casual and chatty, no dramas (I think we were out walking the dog).

You can be totally honest without using the word cancer.  I couldn't bring myself to use the word even though mine are older, so explained 'my suspicious cells' that were being removed in an operation. and that I'd have to take medication afterwards.  I told them I'd feel tired for a while and wouldn't be able to do so much after the operation, but that the Drs were sorting me out and had told me I'd be okay a little while afterwards.  They were fine with it, and carried on with their day, no anxiety, so I felt I'd used the right approach for my lot.  They knew it was cancer but we got through the whole thing without using the 'C' word.  Maybe this may be a useful approach for you too, especially as yours may find the association frightening.  
 

The only other thing I did was tell my youngest's tutor in school so that he could go to her if he felt upset or anxious.  School were amazing and checked up on him from time to time.  He was fine.
 

The only thing my kids asked me was "are you protecting us and not telling us the full truth" and I responded that everything I had been told by the Drs and nurses I had told them, and that we all had to trust what they were saying.

Good luck and wishing you all the best.  I recovered very quickly from my mastectomy with very little pain, it's really not as bad as it sounds!

Mary

Thank you so much for replying   I told him last night that I was having an operation on my 'boob', but didn't use the cancer word as he's 9yrs old, he responded by asking me if I was only going to have one boob or be boobless??? Didn't even mention about mastectomy, very bizarre. I did email his teacher as well just to monitor him at school, didn't tell teacher about the cancer either just that I would be have lots of hospital visits and didn't people may need to pick him up and his routine may be a bit all over the place.  He seemed fine about it all, I'm sure he will have more questions as time goes on and he starts to process it.  Glad you had a quick recovery from your operation, I'm hoping to get to boot camp as quickly as possible