Hi [@poppins81]‍ 

I am so sorry about your diagnosis and that you are feeling so anxious and worried. Your post was very similar to me 8 months ago when I was diagnosed with a 6cm tumor Grade 3 invasive ductal carcinoma HER2+, also in my Lymph nodes.

I know exactley how you are feeling right now. My head was everywhere and naturally I thought the worst, like you are now. You will gain lots of support from this forum. 

 I had 6 rounds of chemo, it was hard but doeable. The chemo worked and shrunk the tumor to nothing which meant I could have a lumpectomy instead of a masectomy, I had surgery 6 weeks ago to remove the tissue where the tumor was and my lymph nodes. I got the pathology results and had a patholgical complete response, which meant they got everything and the chemo had done its job. I now have to have radiotherapy which I will be starting soon.

I just want you to know that there is more good outcomes than bad and that the treatment plan you will be given will be designed to you to give you the best outcome possible. Anything you need to know or you just want to rant or chat, give me a shout. Try not to google, as it does not help and alot of it is out of date. 

Have you been given an appointment to see an oncologist? Once you have a treatment plan you will beable to focus on that, its the waiting that really is the hardest part.

Sending you a big virtual hug xx

Thank you so much for your message. I am an absolute wreck at the moment. I've only really just been able to react because I've had my son and then my friend came round here I was able to talk to you but then she left and I just completely broke down. I have a pet scan and bloods and a biopsy of the skin on Friday and I should hear about the oncologist very soon. I only found out today. I'm just terrified of what's gong to happen over the next few months, year however long it takes. They don't know yet if they want me to do the surgery first or the chemo. But from the sounds of it they need to remove the whole breast . I just want it gone, because I just want to be with my son.

[@poppins81]‍ 

Aww bless you. Is there anyone who  can come and stay with you? 

The waiting and not knowing is absolutley awful. Have you been told that it might be inflammatory bc? I was told I had calcifications at the begining and that there was alot bunched together.

You will results soon, then hopefully you will then know alot more. I was an absolute wreck Im 48 with 3 daughters, but I was and still am determined Im not going anywhere. 

I am here if you need me

HI Poppins,

A very warm welcome to our forum, although I'm sorry to hear why you're here. No matter how well prepared we think we are for a cancer diagnosis, we all find it a total shock when it happens. Many thoughts go through our minds initially. Then we hone in on the worst possible outcomes and begin to fear for the futures of our children. 

Breast cancer is one of the most treatable forms of cancer nowadays. I lost my mum to secondary breast cancer and have had 2 bouts myself in the past 12 years. There is just no comparison between the diagnosis, treatment and after care which we have both received. Technology is constantly changing. Like you, I was petrified for my children, who were young teenagers at the time. Since then they have left school, gone to university, graduated, got gainful employment, married and given me two beautiful granddaughters. I still lead a busy and fulfilled life.

I'm not saying that all has been plain sailing. The first year was hard with all of the different hospital appointments, but I came through it, along with many others. Not knowing exactly what is happening is always hard. Once you know more, you will feel more in control again and can get on with fighting this. I hope that you had all of your tests yesterday and that it won't be too long before you get your results.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Poppins

i feel your pain. I'm a mother if a 12  year old adhd boy who is constantly needing hugs and cuddles. I'm 53 and a single parent. 
I also have 2 calcification areas that have just been biopsied. I'm awaiting results. But the radiologist informed me it didn't look good. All I can hope from that it means she thinks it is cancer and not how bad it is. My head is also screwed and I can't function. Her words just keep going round and round. I find iut Monday csi not really wanting to go for results but no I must. Gutted 

let's hope your results are better than what your thinking and if not I'm sure there is solutions. I def would go for a mastectomy if given the chance now as all my family also have had cancer of breast. 
hope your ok and can reach out to someone. It's hard by yourself and I didn't realise that till right now. When you need someone. X 

All of this is so hard to get your head around, you need to look after yourself. Ive been signed off work since February as  I can’t concentrate on anything for longer than 15 minutes.

I’m now 6 weeks post op, had a lumpectomy and sentinel nodes out after they found my cancer through my first ever mammogram.

The NHS definitely know how to look after you. 

Take each day as it comes and use this site and Macmillan on line community. Lots of support and advice when you need it.

Fingers crossed for your results on Monday x