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Did you ever contemplate not getting chemo?

2me
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Hi,

I'm just starting the journey.  Bone scans tomorrow, ct Monday then chemo by the end of the week.  Told I have TNBC last Friday.

I feel fine at mo.  Had a few problems for a while and diagnosis is likely to be late so I'm waiting on scan results to define where I stand. But...I am starting to wonder about chemo, having defied medical advice over other incidents and ended up better off than those I know that were treated.  I'm having clotting issues.

I'm guessing this is a usual thought process but treatment when I've no pain feels odd. Any insight I've not reached yet :)?

Wishing ye all the best on the journey x

  • Offline in reply to Laraine53

    I left him in 2019.  Had 4 months on my own playing music.  He loves me and I love him.  We sorted it out and got back together.  He's not ****** up since, although covid put a stop to the causes. 

    I'm a musician.  Quality of life with peripheral neuropathy.. well I don't know.  Do I want to take the chance by starting chemo on Thursday? I don't know. 

    Spoke with my father this eve and he said I should talk to everyone I can.  I did.  From there perspective I'm a musician and it's a tough one.  That was from fellow musicians. We gigged tonight.

    The final straw that had me leave in 19, appeared again tonight.  I feel I should go again.  I don't want to live out my days with that for sure. Treated or not!

    I'm in no pain.  I'm playing great.  My doctor said " have you been talked to about chemo as palliative care".  I'm going to make another appt with him to see what he meant. Hopefully tomorrow.

    70+% chance of peripheral neuopathy.  I feel fine.  I'm sure I've been living with this since 2020.  I think I'm going to go and live out my time without medical intervention.  I can't bear the alternative.

  • Offline in reply to 2me

    I delayed the start of chemo and am due to start next Wednesday.  Spent the week making the most of being me as I am now.  Caught up with old friends, more socialising etc.  I've not told them, told some people but not them.  Hopefully got wheels and booked in with the cancer centre. 

    He checked my phone tonight. obvs nothing there cos I never have ??? and its always been him....I want to believe he is the same, but he deviously checked when I have nothing to hide and would have given it to him :(   I know the game though, the one that makes up things for a row :(  He didn't carry it through so maybe I'm wrong.

    All these things I'm doing now as a "last" when I could have always been doing them?  Or could I?  Fkd if I'll stop because of treatment or anything else!  There is no way in this world I could do chemo without him. I simply don't have time to get that independence.

  • Offline in reply to 2me

    And he's just read this and bang.....we're done.

  • Offline in reply to 2me

    I guess people won't know how to respond to that. I don't either but here goes. Good. You don't need this stress right now (or ever, actually). Go stay with someone. Or go stay somewhere , anywhere away from him. Put yourself in the only zone that matters right now - you. I put up with that type of treatment for 27 years. Finally grew the balls to leave once and for all. Then cared for a loved relative for 18 months who passed 5 months before I was diagnosed with bc. Declined chemotherapy. Still alive and healthy after living my perfect life for one year. Every day now is a wonderful gift. Be strong. x

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