My mum got diagnosed mid Dec 2020 with spinal mets but they were not sure where the primary source was.  She had thyroid biopsy late Dec (not there) and in mid Jan 2021 had 4 hour spinal surgery to remove spinal lesions and insert metal rods to hold her back together.  They confirmed bowel cancer end of jan after a biopsy.  Radiology did a telephone appointment mid Feb saying they'd do radiotherapy on spine remnants then talk about chemo but patients with bowel cancer in the bone can live for many years.  So we thought it was a case of getting her through radiotherapy and chemo and life would go back to normal! Since the radiotherapy she has gone downhill massively.  She's eaten next to nothing for 4 weeks, had incontinence with diarrhea for 10 days which resulted in an emergency scan to check that it wasn't an infected abscess in the bowel.  The scan showed it had spread further along the colon and into the liver (but liver function remains unaffected). She's now completely bedbound with a catheter and may have had a small stroke (weakness on her right side but she's refusing to have a brain scan). Since surgery it's been like being on a roller coaster every single day.  No one will tell us where we are in this process (I know everyone is different). Is there any likely hood she will be mobile again or is she nearing the end?  She's actually quite lucid and seems to have improved slightly since remaining in bed (the past 5 days).  She gave up more or less as soon as she was told (in December) and had to be persuaded to have the spinal surgery.   

This whole process is so awful (not helped by thinking 2 months ago she'd make a reasonable recovery).  To make matters worse my dad also has cancer (untreatable and diagnosed 2 years ago), so I'm dreading having to go through this again in the future.  I feel like running away.  We have macmillan involved and they've arranged daily care to help.

Thoughts and advice welcome.