Hi, I have thought long and hard about posting this, especially when people are still battling this horrid disease.

I feel pathetic but so grateful to be cancer free for just over a year.

I've had a recall last year check but was ok.

I have now been referred to the eye hospital as the optiton (think that's spelt wrong) has found something but doesn't know what it is. You can probably guess what's going through my head.

Does it get easier, everyone thinks yah it's gone, they don't know the struggles, the after effects of treatment, the mental torture of every pain or niggle is it back. I just don't tell anyone, simply because they don't understand.

I'm feeling very low, I'm normally a positive person. Some days I think was it worth it.

Sorry, I really hope this doesn't offend anyone.

This is my safe place, I can let it out.

Sorry for the long rant.

Thank you and stay safe xxx