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Life after Cancer - How are you suppose to feel?

Boots1703
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Hi

I had Appendix cancer in March 2017, which was discovered after my appendix were taken out due to pains, then i had a right hemilcolectomy, then 6 months of chemo, of which one of the drugs was stopped after cycle 10, then i went onto have cytoreductive surgery with HIPEC in Feb 18 - 9 hours of surgery - google if you arent squeemish!

As an aside i had gallballer removed in Nov 19

Fatigue hit during all that time, hair was thin, but no loss, weight gain was 3 stone, i am now waiting on results of my 2nd year clear, which i am confident about, as i had a CT Scan in Sep for gallbladder - nothing untoward shown there

So why do i live in dread? day in day out, i am not anxious, i just feel that i should be so happy that i am a survivor, which i am happy dont get me wrong, but the living in fear, is immense & makes me feel so sad & alone

You have all these people around you when you are undergoing treatments, then most dissapear, they dont even remember when you have a scan or why? i understand people have to live their own lives, but why do they forget that you are living with this? is it making me bitter? i dont want it to, but why do i feel so alone with it all? when i should be so happy i am cancer free

Please tell me these feelings are normal, that it is ok to have these feelings?

 

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    Hi,

    I can't imagine how I will feel after my treatment. I have had masectomy in Dec 19 and am waiting for my 1st chemo. I have been talking to a friend who had cancer 5years ago, as I was asking her questions she kept saying Oh I really can't remember how I felt then! She's a positive person which helps but I suppose you need to place your fear in the back of your brain and celebrate being cancer free. The mental side of cancer is as difficult as the physical side. I'm terrified most days! Your last op was only in Nov so still recovering I expect. I think you need a lovely treat and a big hug!!

    Best wishes 

    Silver

     

     

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    Absolutely normal!  I've been through cancer twice. Fortunately both were caught very early, but the fear never really left me.  It's been 9 years since my prostate cancer surgery, and I'm due for a blood test in a couple of weeks, and I can feel a little knot of apprehension even now.  I don't suppose I'll ever regard myself as cured - simply waiting for the ticking bomb to go off.  

    In fact, for the first couple of years I had a constant feeling of overhanging doom.  (We're doomed, Captain Mainwaring!).  I needed counselling to come to terms with my feelings.  It was very helpful, and maybe that would help you.  

    But I think most people eventually come to terms with their situation. I no longer worry all the time - only on special occasions ;-)

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