Hi garden why are you so sure you are going to get C again some people don't get it at all, a lot of people on here live a normal life with it and after its gone, I've lived with C nearly four years now i still live a normal life, your all clear so should you I know it's hard but try to consontrate on other things,, things you like to do keep yourself busy, it does help. Best wishes.

Billy 

Hi garden2018.

Fear of cancer returning is something that we all have to live with.  For the first few years after my treatment for prostate cancer, I was terrified that it would return.  So much so that I was referred for counselling and those sessions really helped.

I'm sure you know that statistics are on your side, and that if your melanoma hasn't returned within ten years then you are pretty much in the clear.  But knowing the statistics with your head is different from knowing them with your gut.  Your head says one thing, but your gut says something completely different. I'm also sure that your mother's situation has brought your own brush with cancer back into your mind, and re-awakened all those old fears.  

What you should not do is try to ignore your fears - I'm sure you've tried that already and it isn't working.  You could see your GP, but beware of any chemical solutions.  If your GP can refer you for a talking therapy, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), then that is something you should seriously consider.  However, waiting lists are long, so you might have to pay to see a counsellor privately.  This might be worth the cost, but be sure to choose someone qualified, experienced and reputable. 

Or, if none of those are available, you might try some "mindfullness" self help techniques and books.  

However, please don't be tempted to look for relief from the bottom of a glass. That way won't work.