Cancer has taken most of my family

i lost my nan and step dad, when i was pregnant, to cancer. they never met my daughter. Then 2years ago, cancer took m mother. would just like to talk to people

  • Hi there always helps if you can find the courage to talk .. for some it's so hard and so just start off slowly like you have ... you have lost so family that you love and sometimes we put those feelings somewhere deep inside and close the door ... then every time we loose someone else we do the same , until late one day you open the door to put another feeling in and it's full and everything tumbles out and we drown in all those feelings ... so talking about one thing at a time, sort out how you feel even if you just write it down ... process how it makes you feel , put some logic on it ... it made you feel... then if you can do something about it ... do it... if there's nothing you can do, you have to accept it ..  this is a great place to start ... so sending you a big hug .. be kind to yourself first ... chrisie xx

  • Hi,

    The title of your post resonated with me as over the years I have lost twelve family members to cancer plus I have had and recovered from prostate cancer. So I do understand how your feeling.

    Chrissy has given some good advice as always. This is a very friendly forum with lots of understanding people who are east to talk to. 

    Take care of yourself, Brian

  • Hi I'm 52yrs old have 4 adult children 5 years ago I lost my mum to bowl cancer then 2 years ago I lost my children's dad to mouth cancer n organ failure it hit my kids very hard we were just getting over his death when in January this year after a long battle my kids best auntie (dads sister) passed away with lung cancer it totally destroyed my children I felt powerless to help my children there hearts were broken we buried her and tried to carry on then  a few weeks later I was bathing when I found a lump on my breast I went gps n got an appointment 2 weeks later at the hospital I had breast imaging scan which showed my lump was just a sisted but the doctor found a dark patch under my boob she  drained my sisted and took 2 biopsys of the patch she found I went home thinking nothing wrong 1week later I went back hospital to get results as soon as I walked in the room I knew something was wrong because there was 2 nurses n 2 doctors I was told I had breast cancer early stages being told I had cancer didn't really bother me to be honest what bothered me the most was having to tell my kids after everythink they were going though  I feel so so guilty that I survived I don't talk about my cancer I can't watch my children suffer no more it's hard Hun x

  • Hi Lynne,

    I am so sorry to hear that you have lost so many loved ones to cancer, particularly in such a short while. I am sorry to hear that your offspring were so upset by these. Unfortunately, you are not the only one to have a spell like this. I see that Woodworm has replied to you telling you what a hard time he’s had. I too have lost far more than my fair share of close family and, like Woodworm and now yourself, I have had breast cancer for the past 7 years. I had a second bout of primary cancer 6 years ago. Sometimes life just doesn’t seem fair.

    It is a pity that you feel you have to refrain from talking to your family about your cancer. You need someone to lean on yourself now and, although you are trying to save them more grief, you might all find it easier if you could speak openly about it.  I have my hubby and 2 grown up children and we discuss my cancer openly now. To start with, we didn’t, but it has become so much easier for all of us since we did.

    Have you had any staging, surgery or treatment yet?

    One reassuring point is that your cancer has been diagnosed as early stage. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are getting on. We are always here for you whenever you feel like talking, so there is no need for you to feel that you are on your own..

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Im sorry to hear about loosing ur loved ones and your diagnosis, wish i could five u a big fat hug , know that everyone here is there for u and u a definitely going to kick this cancer out . It is well !!!