Hi KatieZ

I dont beleive in bringing bad luck on yourself, although I do avoid walking under ladders but thats just in case something falls on my head.

You want to sream and shout girl then you come on here and do it. I think people tell you not to think the way you sometimes do is because they really dont know what to say.

As to the screaming and crying when they put the needle in tell them in advance - look I am going to do ..................  also mention it to the Doctor when you have your review.

I had a reaction to one of the pre-meds first time I said is that a anti-hystamine "yes why" because I feel dizzy and faint so could you just stop a moment.  The Nurse asked if I wanted a doctor and I said I was Ok but I told the doctor at my next review and it went down on my notes to give me this slowly.

We are all different me I am usually upbeat and posative with the occasional meltdown.  Although part of me still believes they got the diagnosis wrong as apart from the side effects of chemo and radiotherapy I have and do feel fine.  Probably part of my coping mechanism,  the Oncologist was most bemused when I told him I had every intention of increasing their survival numbers.

I feel exactly the same. All empathy and friend support withdrawn as people think I am ok now. I suffer many diseases cancer is just one and I have to wait 5yrs for an all clear so not all ok :( Try and explain how you feel to your friends and family? They may have no idea you are coping with this pressure. Am with you in this, take care x

Hi everyone

Thanks for all your replies.I had been wondering if I might be suffering from depression and going to see the GP is probably the advice I would give to someone too but I am not good at following my own advice! I am a bit "old school" and feel anti depressants are a last resort. Strength should come from within; sign of weakness etc etc. I read all the positive quotes that are bandied about and I know there are so many people worse off than me so I feel I must tackle this myself. My family would worry more if I told them my thoughts and they don't deserve it, they all have their own ups and downs to cope with. I'm sure I will get there in the end, its just good to let off steam here and know that others feel the same. 

All the best to you all.

Diane

Hi Everyone

Total newbie here, having read the posts I feel exactly the same, all through my surgeries and treatments I stuck that smile on my face, I was the joker the one who made everyone laugh, the I'll get through this. Its now after all the treatments have completed I feel a bit shaken, like what the hell happened there.

I sort of feel a little desolate sometimes, i was referred to a counselor who gave me leaflets for a course where you just watch a video and work through a book, not for me sorry. I want to talk to a real person to get answers on why i am feeling like this.

I excersise on a regular basis so don't feel depressed, just anxious and not about the cancer coming back, but how a strong independant woman like myself feels so now vulnerable.

I must agree with Katie. I seemed to be coping very well but after suffering months of chronic insomnia, tirdness and background anxiety my GP prescribed a very low dose of antidepressants - mainly to help me get to sleep at night. 

It is amazing the difference gettig regular 8 hours of sleep can make to your outlook, health and well being.

Best wishes
Dave 

Thanks katiez I might give them a try I'll speak to my doctor when nxt c them I'm lucky my hot flushes not to bad now lol u entitled b fussy hope you go on ok with the maintenance xx 

I know just where you're coming from KatieZ. Everyone rallied around when i was first diagnosed and  I had a lot of support from family and friends but now that I've been told the cancer is gone I've actually been told by one friend that I should be  grateful that I only needed major surgery and not chemo! Like you, I don't talk about it anymore as when i do i sound so ungrateful. I'm not sure what the answer is but realising I'm not the only one thinking like this helps me to realise I'm not alone