Hi cbh2007

Everything you describe is quite normal, don't be hard on yourself, you are not pathetic for feeling down or anxious.You have been through a lot to get where you are now, that takes strength and courage, everyone here who has been through it will know that, and it leaves you mentally and physically exhausted. Just go at your own pace, put yourself first, others often expect too much of you and its early days yet, but things will get better. Kim

Hi cbh

Having read your profile i'm sure that some of your anxiety and feeling down could also be due to your age.

Your body has gone through a lot with the cancer and then the treatment and also at your age your hormones are all over the place.  When I was told that I was in remission I felt great and then a few days later I felt really worried because I was no longer going to the hospital and felt like I was adrift.  I have to go for checkups every three months (next one due tomorrow) but its not the same.

Every now and then I think will it come back - something I never worried about before was would I get cancer so I try to relate to that,  I did not worry then so worrying now is not going to help.

We are all different, we all react differently, so there is nothing abnormal about the way you are feeling as there is no normal.  Hope that makes sense.

When I start to feel down I give myself a good talking too and reason with myself that its not the end of the world and I am really lucky.  Think of all the posatives in your life things that you take for granted, see the beauty around you.  I wished that I never had cancer but even that has given me lessons and shown me true friends and  has sharpened my senses to the world around me.  What I am really trying to say is take the posatives and ditch the negatives cant be done all at once but gradually if you give more attention to the posatives you will find that the negatives become smaller.

river

Hi

i know those feelings well.Im a year post treatment but the last few months have been difficult. Feeling low and tired and it all leaves you feeling vulnerable. I have sought help and am now on medication for my low mood which is definitely helping. Talking is probably the best help and if you speak to your GP they should be able to point you in the right direction. There are also post cancer groups which I haven't managed to get to yet but am hoping too

talking to people on this form helps too. You don't feel quite so alone with it.

tAke care and be kind to yourself. That is what I am trying to do.

It will get better for us

a

How I can understand your feelings.  With me it was being told I was terminal and three months to live and a week later to be told chemo could get me in remission.  I still do not know if I truly believe the Doctors after them getting my diagnosis so wrong.  Age is no respect or of depression and medication is helping a bit but life just keeps throwing another curve ball at you doesn't it? The thing to remember is - is cancer going to rule your life and it sounds like you have a long one ahead of you, or are you going to take it by the throat and shake it to death?  Try giving it a name and telling it that it can no longer rule you and you are in control.  Your age means you feel everything so acutely and only when older do you recognise the time you have wasted on it.  Grab LIFE!! It can be truly wonderful. Grieve over your cancer then leave it behind.