life after cancer

Glad to say my cancer was caught early and after a mastectony and reconstruction I've now been told my only treatment needed is tamoxifen. So why do I feel so low? Whilst it was all happening I couldn't wait to get better and for things to be back to normal but now it all feels a bit surreal. Like it happened to someone else. I also find I don't feel I have the right to get upset as like everyone tells me, I'm fine now, and because I don't need chemotherapy I keep being told I'm really lucky. Don't feel lucky at the minute.

I'm sure it will pass but is it normal to feel this way? Surely I am lucky and should be thankful I it's gone?

  • Hi Marie, sorry to see why you are here and the short answer is, yes, it is perfectly normal to feel down at the moment....

    The long answer is you have just spent months going through the endless fear and slog of first the diagnosis and then the treatment and now that it has ended you are "abandoned" by the professionals to get on with your life. If I have heard "It's gone, you're fine now" once, I have heard it a hundred times and you are almost forced to outwardly agree, aren't you? However, most of us don't bounce back that quickly emotionally, it takes time to come to terms with the trauma you have been through and this is often overlooked or dismissed by others, however well intentioned they may be.There is no right or wrong way to feel, allow yourself those bad days and enjoy the good ones, it will get easier.

    Breast Cancer Care run free courses called Moving Forward which deal with all the issues relating to having had breast cancer and how to deal with getting your life back once treatment is over. Having never thought I would need it, I went on one in Feb/March this year and it was a real help, not least because everyone there was in the same boat and understood, it wasn't just me that felt as you do now. 

    I hope this has helped in some small way and I am happy to chat any time. Take care of yourself.  Sue xx

     

  • Thanks susu. Sorry it's taken so long to reply but I'm new to this site and couldn't figure out how to see replies.  You're right. Some days are better than others and mostly I am pleased that everything is now 'fine' as everyone keeps telling me. Physically I'm getting better everyday but emotionally I still feel all over the place but trying to be kind to myself. Thank you for taking the time to reply :)