Hello,

I read this and found it very familier.  I am diabetic as well and I ate everything that I shouldn't have right after an operation which (hopefully) got rid of the cancer.  I don't smoke or drink alcohol, but if I did, I would have!   It was at Christmas (my op was in December 15) so it was easy.  I was angry with myself as well - here I was, after going through all that, harming myself.  Once I realised what I was doing, I tried to work out why.  Part of me was delighted to be putting on weight as that was a proof that I didn't have cancer (of course, it's not always true!).  Part of me just wanted to let go of everything for a bit.  And part of me was very low in mood.  The next bit is to do something about it.  Understanding it is one thing, but doing something about it was another.   I am managing to start to get control of things, but the low mood is still there and I cry a lot (which isn't like me).   Coming here was part of trying to deal with the way I was feeling, so I hope we both find a pathway out of this.

Don't be too tough on yourself, youv'e been through a lot of tough stuff.  Start to be kind to yourself.