As i write this, i am not in a great place at the moment, i am stuggling again to cope with my life, lots of things have got on top of me and i worry i take things for granted sometimes. I sit here now, Looking back on my life over the past few years and i don't regret the desicions i have made, but i do wish a certain someone was here. A fair few years ago now, my nan passed away battling a furocious cancer, she once beat breast cancer, but unfortuently it returned, in the worst way possible. I was only young when she passed away, i didnt understand much, but i knew that what ever it was, it took her away fast. Im now alot older and i know excatly what happened to her, what cancer did to her and how it slowly ripped her from my life.
Im trying now to cope with my life as best as i can to suit me and my future career, next year is a major year for me i will qualifiy my final college course and i will finally be able to acheive everything i have always wanted. I'm strugging right now as some of the decisions i make arent the best for everyone else in my life, does this make me a bad person ??
I want my career to be sucsessful for not only myself, but for my nan. My dream is to become a sucsessful Pasrty Chef as its my passion, and my nan was and still is my insipiration.
I sit here now, thinking, i wonder what she thinks of me ?? wether she is proud of me or ashamed of some of the things i have done, im ashamed... dont get me wrong i've passed all of my exams, got a job, saved money and always gave what i could, but it still, it goes throught my mind.
I miss my nan so much everyday, and everyhting i make will always break my heart as my nan isnt here to see it, but i guess she up there watching me hey ??
Stay strong everyone who is battling cancer, my god be with you.
Im sorry for being selfish...
I love and miss you nan xox :(:love:
