Pleased that you did not have to undergo the needle biopsy and am sure you were very relieved that nothing to worry about. Good that these things are kept a check on though.
Just taking things as they happen as regards Mum. She is on the whole pain free but they have palliative care team in place as and when required. I really hope she does not have to suffer with the symptoms over a long period as the physical effects are adding to her mental anguish which just seems so cruel. Another scenario over which I have no control but at least I can visit when needed. We are currently trying to keep to usual routines as she tires very easily and does not say much nowadays. On her poorly days they now use the hoist to move her from bed to chair as she is much more frail. At least I have been able to show her the wedding pictures and have had one placed in a frame for her to keep in her room.
Busy day at work today and no doubt the same tomorrow but a quiet weekend ahead hopefully. Just waiting to hear when my daughter and family have a definite moving date (looking like end of the month at the moment) and have a long weekend away with friends a week Friday. Would be nice if the weather improved a bit for that.
Just a little update re my Mum. I visited yesterday and spent a short time sitting with her as she dozed.She has been confined to bed since my last visit as her illness is now leaving her increasingly frail. She is managing small meals and the doctor has been visiting regularly to keep an eye on her pain levels. At the moment she is as comfortable as she can be given the cirumstances but she only speaks to request her passing which is something we have been used to over many years with her mental disorder. It is very hard seeing the physical deterioration now which does of course also bring back the emotions similar to those I felt when hubby was ill. Of course I am thankful to the caring staff at the residential home ,which helps enormously, but am pretty confused as to my own emotions as my relationship with my Mum has never been a close one (due to her mental illness) but know the journey of life for her has been a difficult one. I am at a loss to explain my feelings just now as, at the end of the day, you only have one Mum. Sorry for the ramble but just needed to get this offmy chest before facing a work day ahead of me (my insides are churning as I am now on tenterhooks everytime the phone rings).
Dear Jules, I am so sorry to hear the news of your Mum's frailty, I can't imagine how incredibly upsetting this must be for you to have to try and deal with.
We are all here for you, you know that, and if it helps even a little then please, please keep 'rambling' as much and as often as you feel like.
Like Sue I am so sorry to read about your mothers deteriation. It is so hard seeing someone you love in this situation for you feel so helpless. Even though she is not awake much, be assured that she knows how much you love her.
I can understand your mixed emotions for I had a step father who I never got on with at all. In fact he never used to speak to me until the last couple of years of his life. I had a very difficult relationship with him and often this caused problems between him and my mother for which I felt guilty. When he suddenly passed away one night, I too felt mixed up emotions as I didnt feel sorry he had died yet felt guilt for feeling like that. I was sorry for my mother of course and only went to the funeral to support her.
I would just repeat what Sue has said, we are here for you anytime and please ramble away as much as you want as it does help to write your feelings down.
Sending big hugs and kind thoughts your way, your forum friend, Brian
Hi jules so sorry 2 read about u mum and what u going through as well it's so sad :( hope u ok don't be sorry about rambling that what this site all about we all here 4 u take care x
Many thanks for your support and comfortingly kind words. Being able to share feelings and understanding here is a huge help. Managed okay at work and suspect this was in large part due to the fact I had 'spoken on here' so felt a little more at ease. My supervisor is now aware that Mum is frail and that I could possibly be called away at some point but for now I am trying to keep everything as 'normal routine' as possible.
Jules, I am so sorry to hear about your mum. Your mind must be in turmoil, but take comfort in the fact that hers probably isn't - she wants to go, it is you that is suffering, especially as it is also bringing back very painful memories of your dear husband's illness.
Please, please don't ever apologise for unloading your sadness, Jules - you have been here for so many others, now it's your turn again.
Thanks Hazel, your kind words are so appreciated. You are so right in how you put it. Mum just wants everything over as has been the case so many times over the years but, of course, this time the problems are physical an it is just said to see her looking so frail. Nonetheless I am lucky in knowing that she has round the clock care already in place so does not need to be moved. I hope this continues to be the case as obviously we do not know how her journey with this illness will move forward. I am away this weekend but at least will have my mobile to hand should they feel it necessary to contact me. Her own written requests have been in place for some time so any decisions taken will be with those in mind.
Hope you are enjoying some of the sunny weather we have here today. Take care and my love and hugs to you also. Jules xx
