Oh Jules forgive my post on my site to you .....I am so sorry not to have known of your hubbies departure.  You know from the support you have given me how well I understand your current situation and my heart goes out to you.  My site tells of my joirney through this uncharted place you find yourself in.  It is difficult but you will come through.

All my thoughts and a big virtual hug

Ian x

Hi Ian

Just lovely to see your name appear on my thread and suspect its just as hard for you to post but I really appreciate the message.  It was a long three years for hubby and I take much comfort in the fact that he is now free from the clutches of his disease which took his happiness away.  I am surrounded by the love of my family and friends (and the ongoing support of virtuality buddies) and now, like you, my life must be lived to the best of my ability. Early days still but so many memories to cherish and share with others - a few late nights of 'story-telling' along the way.

Sending hugs and best wishes and hope all is well with you and Julie in your new life.  Jules x

Hi Sue

Will keep everything crossed that the lottery win is forthcoming soon! Sounds as though you are 'gearing up' for your op as the days go by towards the date. Bet you will be pleased to get it out of the way. Do you have to spend long in hospital or is that a wait and see scenario? Hopefully afterwards the massage sessions will prove more beneficial.  It just seems so unfair that the NHS availablility is being withdrawn when it does seem as though many people could benefit from it and I totally agree that its a 'shocking' development for you locally. grrrrr.

Am looking forward to my indian meal on Thursday. Both hubby and I were regulars at the local indian restaurant until chemo killed his taste buds and he rarely ate out after that (we were so 'regular' that we even got Christmas cards!!!). This time we are taking another friend who lost her husband a couple of years ago and is just beginning to pick up her social outings again. She is not so keen on going out in the dark evenings but we will see her home afterwards.

Visited Mum for nearly an hour today and gave her all my news. Bless her she really is not interested but I do not know what else I can do other than sit beside her and chat or read.The staff still try to get her to join in activities(she is just not interested in anything other than wanting to be left alone and wishing life could end sooner rather than later which does not make for easy conversation) ; today they had bought in a load of the art therapy colouring books but I have a feeling it will be the staff who benefit as they did not get many 'takers'.  Their job is truely vocational and I am very grateful for all they try and do for the residents.  I de-stressed at the gym and came home for lunch rather than eat out. Back to work tomorrow. Take care of yourself.Jules x

Hi Jules, good luck today and I hope your boss has at least acknowledged your discussion from last week but even better if he has come up with some ideas to resolve it for you all.

My shoulder op is only a day case thankfully so although I am not due in til midday I should be out a few hours later. I have never actually spent a night in hospital and don't intend to start now!  They will give me a 24 hour pain bloc during the procedure and a bagful of painkillers to take away for when that starts to wear off. Am also relying on his suggestion that recovery will only take a "few" days....

Oops, time to get going on the day so fingers & toes crossed for you.   Take care  Sue xx

Hi Jules and Sue,

Its been a funny week this week so far, havent seemed able to concentrate or settle down. My brother has kidly e-mailed me pictures from the funeral from yesterday. I havent had to buy any chestnuts today as I havent eaten as many just lately so that shows I'm not firing on all cylinders. 

Had to have my annual eye test today and found I needed new glasses for reading. More expense. Plus my right eye pressure is a bit on the high side so I will now have to wait for a appiontment at the eye hospital. Told it's nothing to worry about but the optician just wants its checked out.

With regard to your work situation, one can only do so much. I think all companies have cut back on staff so much that when busy periods arrive, those that are left are put under so much pressure. My grandaughter wrote 5,000 words in about an hour the other day on her laptop for one of her new stories. I coudlnt even think that amount per hour. Phew.

I have another cancer meeting to go to on Saturday morning so will be able to get some shop bought chips on my way home.

Take care Jules and thanks for your support over the past few days, Brian.

Hi Brian, I am not surprised that you are  all at sixes and sevens at the moment. Both you and Mrs.B have had to deal with an awful lot over the last few weeks and you must be exhausted physically and emotionally I should think. I hope the emailed photos you received were of some comfort for you, although at the same time they must have made the situation even more real for you, if that makes sense?

Hope you get your eye appointment through soon so you have one less worry to contend with.

Sorry you've gone off the chestnuts (for now) but hope you enjoy the chips on Saturday as compensation!

Take care

Hi .Jules and Sue,

I had a long phone call from my sister in Canada last night and she told me the funeral went off realy well, with lots of dads old collegues from his railway days attending and telling some wonderful stories about him, most of which the family had never heard before. Including a story about how he was driving a train through the rockies many years ago when they hit a huge snow drift and the train was brought to am abrupt halt . So much so that when dad sneezed  he lost his false teeth in the snowdrift. Luckily one of his collegues found them for him.

The song I mentioned was played during the service and my sister mentioned to everyone how we have all taken on a part of dads personality and mannerisuims. My sister read what I had written during the service but she did say she nearly cried when she read it. She has sent me a copy of her speech and I learnt a lot more about dad from it. He loved fixing things that were broken, things that others were in the process of throwing out in a lot of cases. Another thing we share for I am very much the same. My dads brother is 91 years old but is still driving round Alberta delivering 1,000 gallon gas tanks and he told her some more funny stories about dad. They must build them tough out there.

I think Mrs B is getting over things slowly at least her diabetes has leveled out. Hope this continues especially as I am out for most of Saturday morning. 

Jules, I hope you enjoyed you evening out with your friends and had a good time. At least you now have the weekend here so you can relax a bit although knowing you, you'll find something to do

Sue I hope your op goes well and as Jules says, I bet you are looking forward to get it over and done with.

Hope you dont mind a joint response as I have a busy day today.

Take care both of you, sending best wishes and kind thoughts your way, Brian.

Hi Sue,

Good news that the shoulder procedure is a day care op. Much  nicer to be able to sleep in your own bed and everything crossed that pain relief is good and recovery is as quick as envisaged by the consultant.

Two busy days at work but have come to the decision that whilst it is frustrating not to be able to have extra staff (for me but especially for our customers) I have a manager who is doing his best with the 'tools' he is given. It seems that other retailers are in much the same boat and at least I can sympathise with other 'assistants' and earn smile points!!  On a positive note the 'budget' may allow for me to have a little more help next month which would be more than welcome.

I am enjoying the return of a pair of blackbirds plus a good number of goldfinches (I hear they are increasing due to more people putting up feeders!!). A hedgehog is also still visiting which shows how mild it is still.  Think we will all be taken by surprise when the temperatures finally drop.

Had a nice Indian meal out with two friends last night and we all caught up with family news and put the world to rights ha ha.  Had a few fireworks going off but very low key (not helped by the wet conditions) but most of the local events are tonight or tomorrow (not plans to attend!!).

  Hope you enjoy your weekend. Take care  Jules x

Hi Brian

It seems as though your Canadian siblings are keeping you involved in your Dad's service and this must bring you some confort. So many stories that people can tell and I also found  that you learn new things about those you have loved and lost. Laughter and tears all part of the journey but really relate to the loss of concentration you mention. Still have those times when mind wanders and thoughts intrude into everyday life - all absolutely natural of course.  Hopefully the chestnuts will be enjoyed again soon. Look after yourself and I know you will still keep an eye on Mrs B (just like she will be keeping an eye on you!!).  I see that you have to have an appointment to check on eye pressure and know they like to keep on top of this when you have diabetes. Hope you do not have to wait too long.  How is your sister in law managing with everything? She is lucky to have you both to understand.

I did raise a smile when you recounted the false teeth tale. I have never lost mine in an embarrassing way (yet!) but today was having a re-fit so played gummy bear for a couple of hours whilst the technician did his work and although I bumped into my neighbour on the walk back home, was able to laugh it off - just!!!   Could not bring myself to go to the gym until afterwards but made a change to go in the afternoon and some lovely ladies to chat with so very social. Cheered myself up a little further by placing order at the butchers for Christmas turkey and ham and even bought some off the bone ham for my late lunch (I know you would rather it was cheese). As a vegatarian can I ask what you normally have for the festive meal?  Off now to work on this week's shopping list in readiness for supermarket sweep tomorrow. Sending peaceful thoughts to you, Mrs B and the family and hope your latest meeting tomorrow goes well. Take care Jules x

Hi Jules,

I have another story about false teeth. When I worked for a builders merchant s years ago, if a young lady came into the shop, the three lads I was in charge of used to almost fight each other to get into the shop to serve them. Well one day they were all at tea break so I went to serve her myself. I used to really suffer with hay fever and I had this huge sneeze and my plate clattered out on the counter near her. I tell you Jules, you have never seen a set of teeth dissapear so quick. My face was pillar box red and she was trying hard not to laugh. One of the most embarassing moments of my life.

With regard to what I eat for my Christmas mealit's usually just roast potatoes and possibly peas. What a bore am I???  Sister in law seems to be coping very well so far but she does have those weepy moments. Thanks for asking. She sent Mrs B a birthday card today and probably didnt even realize it; she wrote hers and her husbands name in it which choked Mrs B up for a few moments.

Hope your supermarket shop goes well tommorow and you dont get wet as the forcast doesnt look good. Glad you have so many birds visiting your feeder. We both love watching them. We had six magpies in the back garden yesterday. The trouble is they tend to frighten off all the small birds. While re-fixing a curtain hook in our front bedroom today, the robin was having his usual singing contest with the blackbird, so I was royally entertained while fixing it. Mrs B said you seem to be taking a long time so I told her why.

I wish you a good weekend and hope you are able to re-charge your batteries. Sending best wishes and kind thoughts to you and your family, Brian

Hi Brian

Your Christmas dinner is right for you so that is all that matters and I am thinking there would be a big plate of cheese and biscuits afterwards. I am buying a couple of items each week for the Christmas store cupboard (family here on Boxing Day) but we will be keeping it pretty simple as always as do not like waste (usually a cold buffet) or days of leftovers! Think little Zack will be a bit more aware of it all this year now that he has turned 2.  Will try and have small real tree delivered as love the smell they bring into the room. Also have a small artificial one which we bought for ease last year. At the moment it's all feeling a little unusual but will make sure the grandchildren have a happy time of course. Hubby loved this time of year and though we had a couple of close calls when he was working abroad he always got back for Christmas Eve. Will rely on good memories to get through this year I am sure.

Very wet and blustery day here and so many leaves now decorating the pavement.  My Japanese maple is still fully laden but only a matter of time I am sure . Even the feathered friends were struggling in the air this morning. We also get magpies but they do not seem to come into the garden too often. Have a pair of collared doves which are visiting very regularly at the moment   and I have a poppy spike feeder just outside my patio doors which they favour so quite funny watching them trying to balance together on such a small area.   I was more than a little damp after my walk to the supermarket and back but it is still incredibly mild and no heating required which helps with the bills. Have not been to my local garden centre for a few weeks so may well pop there tomorrow (even if it is only for a coffee in their cafe) for a browse around the Christmas shop.

Hope y our Cancer meeting went well this morning and that you enjoy the rest of the weekend with Mrs B.Take care  Jules

Good afternoon Jules,

We have the same weather here allthough in Brighton, The sun was trying to break through at one stage but as I left the rain was starting and when I came back over Ditcling Beacon, everything was very misty and the water was running down the road like a river. I enjoyed my shop bought chips; not good for my waistling I know but very tasty. Mrs B is much like you in that she also buys bits and pieces ready for Christmas. Children are what make Christmas so I bet you get a lot of enjoyment watching Zac and his brother. It being your first one on you own will no doubt seem strange  but as you say, you have many happy memories to fall back on which does help as I do exactly the same.

I downloaded 398 new photos the other day so have plenty to post for the next few weeks/months. I spoke to sister in law last night and she seems to be coping but did remark, its the simple little things that set her off. She is coming to see us one day next week so will look forward to that. I have to visit the doc's on Monday to find out the results of my blood tests re-amnemia and B12 levels. Suspect I may end up having to have an injection every three months but we will see what he says.

Have come up with another design for wooden egg cups so as soon as Mrs B is okay, will venture out into my garage as I havent done any work out there for a couple of months now. Sorry to hear you got wet this morning but as you say, it's not cold. We also have a pair of collered doves that alway seem to stay together. One of them was perched on the plastic water tray on our feeder and ended up tipping some water on the one below who didnt look that pleased. Hope you are able to go to your market tommorow in the dry.

Take care, best wishes and kind thoughts being sent your way, Brian

Good afternoon Jules,

We have the same weather here allthough in Brighton, The sun was trying to break through at one stage but as I left the rain was starting and when I came back over Ditcling Beacon, everything was very misty and the water was running down the road like a river. I enjoyed my shop bought chips; not good for my waistling I know but very tasty. Mrs B is much like you in that she also buys bits and pieces ready for Christmas. Children are what make Christmas so I bet you get a lot of enjoyment watching Zac and his brother. It being your first one on you own will no doubt seem strange  but as you say, you have many happy memories to fall back on which does help as I do exactly the same.

I downloaded 398 new photos the other day so have plenty to post for the next few weeks/months. I spoke to sister in law last night and she seems to be coping but did remark, its the simple little things that set her off. She is coming to see us one day next week so will look forward to that. I have to visit the doc's on Monday to find out the results of my blood tests re-amnemia and B12 levels. Suspect I may end up having to have an injection every three months but we will see what he says.

Have come up with another design for wooden egg cups so as soon as Mrs B is okay, will venture out into my garage as I havent done any work out there for a couple of months now. Sorry to hear you got wet this morning but as you say, it's not cold. We also have a pair of collered doves that alway seem to stay together. One of them was perched on the plastic water tray on our feeder and ended up tipping some water on the one below who didnt look that pleased. Hope you are able to go to your market tommorow in the dry.

Take care, best wishes and kind thoughts being sent your way, Brian

Dear Jules & Brian, apologies for being strangely silent over the last few days, not like me I know!

The water infection that had been lurking for a little while decided to come out to play, tummy cramps, backache and most nights spent on the loo, all good fun! Started on the anitbiotics on Thursday evening and am finally beginning to feel vaguely human again now!

Good to hear you enjoyed your chips Brian, and that you had a good evening over the Indian meal with your friends Jules. I hope the idea of additional help at work for December does actually materialise for you.

Also heard the report of increased numbers of goldfinches and told the radio "Yes, I know, they are all at Jules's house!" None have come my way but I do still have my usual feathered friends and, with Mrs.Yappy away as of yesterday afternoon, I might get to see and hear them too!

Hope you enjoy your coffee & cake at the garden centre Jules and good luck Brian for your doctors visit tomorrow. Take care  Sue x

Good morning Brian

Like you I prefer shop bought chips and only have them as part of a fish and chip supper - not that often these days.  I did have fish last night but fresh of the fishmonger's slab (rainbow trout fillet) but no potatoes just green veggies - so quick to cook - how lazy am I!!

Rain finally stopped just before dusk so nipped into the garden and cleaned all the bird feeding stations and had to throw the peanuts away as all the damp weather turned them 'furry'!! Have given them a change with suet balls and will 'serve' peanut nibbles rather than whole nuts now so as to avoid waste. With a lovely sunny dry start today am watching a mix of blue and great *** fight it out with the robins and finches. As they not so kindly forecast more heavy rain later it would seem I should put my wellies on for my walk later this morning (garden centre opens at 10.30 and I have a reward voucher for nearly £10 to spend before the end of the month so will see what takes my fancy). Whilst it's dry will try and pop outside and 'dead head' the roses and dahlias which are still producing blooms. Grass has grown but not much chance of mowing as far too wet grr.

Hope Mrs B soon feeling well enough for you to retreat to the garage and enjoy putting those egg cup ideas to the test - I am sure they will work as you put plenty of thought and craftmanship into your wood turning.  I thought of you the other day when the delivery driver took away our surplus pallets.

Your mention of downloading the photos reminded me that I need to 'upload' from my camera though have not been taking so many recently.Think it would be good to clear the  backlog as will probably take a few during the festivities. We are taking the grandchildren up to see the London Christmas lights in early December so maybe I will take the camera with me and a couple of family birthdays this month to celebrate too.  Son and girlfriend are away on a scuba-diving holiday  this week so will look forward to seeing their pics on their return. Though they may be a little jet-lagged they are coming to dinner on the day of their return for a catch up which I thought would save them having to worry about shopping for food and give them plenty of time to pick up their dog from the boarders en route.

Hope you are having a peaceful day and best wishes returned. Take care. Jules x

Good morning Sue

Sorry that the water infection took hold grrr. Very unpleasant and a real nuisance.  Hope the antibiotics do the trick and you soon feel so much better.  No apologies needed; just keep yourself warm and cosy and take care of yourself.

With Mrs Yappy off galavanting again I am sure your feathered friends will call to visit.  It surprises me that I do so well bearing in mind two or three cats prowl on a regular basis though pleased to say are usually outwitted by the 'flyers'. Yesterday I was treated to the sight of  red kites flying overhead.  They seem to be around here a little more often though my son has them regularly where he lives  - free entertainment. Was a lovely sunny start (two hours ago!!) but the cloud is moving in so think it could be welly weather for my walk today. No market but will still aim for the garden centre as do not enjoy being couped up all day (and prefer walking to housework!!!). Fingers crossed will find a 'little gem' to use my reward voucher on (or it will be more bird food ha ha).

Wishing you a better week ahead and take care. Jules x

Hi Sue,

Sorry to read you have had to spend time in "The Throne Room" lately and hope you are soon fully recovered as it does take it out of us. Hope you have a peacefull weekend with Mrs Yappy being away.

You have no need to apologise for your absence but I was going to post to you today to see if you were okay. Shows you have been missed. Am having a quite day today and Mrs B's diabetes seems to be leveling out now she is not so stressed.

Take care and take things easy, best wishes, Brian

Hi Jules, how lovely to get fly bys from red kites, lucky you. I also have several cats around but like yours my tweeters still manage to come & go as they please which is nice. Must get going with the chores today as I spent most of yesterday asleep! My boss is away this coming week so there'll be extra duties and I will also need to leave things nice & tidy for the following week, it will keep me out of mischief I suppose?! 

Hope you find your voucher gem and don't get too wet in the process.

Have just broken up a fight outside my back door between 7 or 8 magpies, goodness knows what that was about but they've left a few feathers behind, silly things!

Take care and enjoy the rest of your day   Sue x

Thank you Brian, yes, starting to feel a bit brighter now although energy levels still pretty much zero. The peaceful weekend will certainly help.

Glad to hear Mrs.B is leveling out and also that you are thinking of new wood designs ready to try when you can. Good luck tomorrow at the doctors.  Take care  Sue x 

Hi Sue

Hope you are feeling a little less fragile and did not war yourself out with those chores. 

I was totally lucky yesterday as no rain and was out for nearly four hours in the end. Once my gym session ended I walked through our local high street and joined the crowd which had gathered for a remembrance service at the war memorial. Remembrance Day was always an important time for my Dad (Second World War veteran) when he was alive and it is always time for refection of memories made.

I then walked to the garden centre (round trip about 3+ miles) so earned my coffee and cake!!  Also  spent my voucher (and more ha ha) on a couple of indoor plants plus a few Xmas decorations.  Am lucky this year as Boxing Day falls on my normal day off so will get a four day break. Though not expecting it to be too easy emotionally for me and the family as first without hubby, I know he would want us to enjoy it as he loved this family time of year and we have the grandchildren who should be our focus, with new memories to make.

A lovely sunrise when I opened the curtains this morning so very much wish it was not Monday!!! Hope things not too hectic for you with the boss away but suppose at least it keeps the mind occupied. What date is your op?  Right I had better get 'into gear' myself and face the new working week.  Have tomorrow's day off to enjoy as after visit to Mum and gym I am meeting up with one of John's old workmates (co driver from his 750cc car racing club days too) for a chat and cuppa.  He is in his 70's and full time carer for his wife (she has had MS since age 21) who now has dementia.

Take care of yourself and hope the magpies are behaving themselves>  Jules x

Hi Jules,

Good news at the Doctors. My vitamin B12 level is now okay and my iron levels were reasonable but I need to keep taking the tablets. Made my doc laugh when he asked am I vegetarian and I explained my diet to him. I told him you've never met anyone like me before and probably never will again. He laughed even more when I told him if they did away with potatoes and nuts I would just waste away. He said that explains why you have both of these problems. It's Mrs B's birthday today so on my way back I bought her two bunches of flowers which pleased her. I had allready bought her two skirts. Like that advert says, "Because she's worth it".

Still very mild for the time of year and when I got back, the two collerd doves, a pidgeon  and three magpies flew out of the small back garden, one of them so low I instinctivly ducked. Luckily his aim was not on target ha ha. Where I used to work one of the guys was boasting about this new shirt he'd just bought when this pidgen decided it was too good a target to resist. It's aim was spot on and hit his back and spread and spread. We all fell about laughing and the poor guy had to go home to change. Whenever he was about after that, he alway kept a eye out for any dive bombers ha ha.

Hope today is not too manic. Sending best wishes and kind thoughts to you and your family, Brian

Hi Brian

Sent a long reply only for intenet to 'fail' grr.  Please pass my best wishes on to Mrs B for her birthday.  I can understand that she would  be very pleased with her flowers (and skirts).  I love to receive flowers and am still 'treating'myself every couple of weeks with a bunch or a plant to bright the inside space.  Not too much to bring in from the garden now and what colour there is would rather leave in situ.

Very pleased that you visit to the doctor went well.  Whilst you prefer a fairly restrictive choice of diet, you do seem to be bucking the trend and managing it well.  Saves Mrs B having to work out menus for you too.  Does it mean that you have to take extra vitamins in addition to the tablets you already have?

Monday did not get off to a great start. When I reached the underground station was informed no trains due to power/signal failure.  Legged it to the bus station and squeezed onto a bus but with so much traffic was about ten minutes late for work grr.  We are, of course, busy and I spent much of my shift finishing off jobs started last week as the weekend staff do not have the time to do the admin side of the job.  A bit of a case of could not see the wood for the trees!!! Will have a relaxing evening (dinner in the oven cooking slowly) and visit Mum and gym tomorrow a.m. and then visiting an old friend of hubby's. As he cares for his wife (who has MS and now suffering with dementia) I will take him some shortbread and enjoy a cuppa whilst he offloads as it will do  him good to talk it out. 

Have a pleasant evening and all the  best to you both and the family.  Take care. Jules

Hi Brian, just butting in to wish Mrs.B Happy Birthday. I know I am a bit late but I hope you both had a good day and that the flowers are enjoyed for a good few days to come.

Good news about your doctors visit and although my diet is a tad more varied than yours (!), I too am partial to the odd nut, particularly Brazil Nuts, yumm!

Take care  Sue x