Hi Brian

Had a good weekend away and even managed a five hour night woo hoo. I am not surprised that you have been struggling a little on the sleep front. I am sure with your own grief and keeping an eye on Mrs B  you are somewhat unsettled and the mind seems to work overtime. Fingers crossed this will improve for you but do look after yourself and perhaps a cat nap here and there will help.

Unbelievably the 'annuals' have been out since the middle of September and are going very well due to good offer on them.   Still busy but to be expected and I have, very politiely, explained to the manager that I only have one pair of hands which I keep fully occupied during my 5hr+ shift and if he needs more done he may have to employ someone else. I think the staff in general are struggling to cope so we will see how it goes. I personally do not need the added stress at this time of year but, of course, you do not like to let anyone down, especially customers. Hey ho.

Will keep you in my thoughts tomorrow but it will be re-assuring to know that you will be there in spirit and  that your Canadian siblings are including your thoughts/music in the service for Dad. Take Care and sending peace and hugs to you, Mrs B and the family. x

Hi Lucie

Good weekend thanks and a few  nostalgic memories to keep me going.Take care Jules x

Hi Jules, what a lovely sounding weekend you had. Good sales for your daughter and a great natter with her into the small hours before a relaxed and fun catch up over chinese & cakes with your friends. That's definantely my kind of a great weekend! So glad you enjoyed yourself so much, and with Thursday still to look forward to later in the week. Some years ago I used to go to a local indian with a friend from work quite regulalry and your mention of it has got my taste buds a-tingling!

Am delighted to see too in your reply to Brian that you had a word with your manager at work. It is not fair to put so much pressure on you and your colleagues when you clearly already work your socks off. I hope for your sakes, he listens and changes are made before the stress levels reach boiling point, I really do.

Saturday's session again went well and was lovely at the time and for a short while afterwards but the effects are still very temporary (I would love to be able to have it done daily or even every 2/3 days but sadly that lottery win still eludes me!)  My next session is now not until the weekend after the op, so in three weeks time. I could have fitted more in time-wise but think I will probably need the help more afterwards so will save up the rest for then. Am not holding my breath for the NHS clinic appointments to come through either as she was telling me of a centre in west kent which has suddenly just closed leaving more than a 1,000 patients with no potential care, it's really quite shocking.

We also had the lovely sun over the weekend and I pottered a bit outside for a while, just to get the sun on my face more than anything. Like you though, I can't beat to prune stuff while it is still blooming so  prettily so it will stay as is for now.

Hope your Mum's visit goes well tomorrow and that you enjoy your lunch (it's allowed if you've just been to the gym!)

Take care  Sue x

Will be thinking of you tomorrow Brian and I know you will take some comfort in being included in the service via your writings.  Take care Sue x

Hi Sue

Will keep everything crossed that the lottery win is forthcoming soon! Sounds as though you are 'gearing up' for your op as the days go by towards the date. Bet you will be pleased to get it out of the way. Do you have to spend long in hospital or is that a wait and see scenario? Hopefully afterwards the massage sessions will prove more beneficial.  It just seems so unfair that the NHS availablility is being withdrawn when it does seem as though many people could benefit from it and I totally agree that its a 'shocking' development for you locally. grrrrr.

Am looking forward to my indian meal on Thursday. Both hubby and I were regulars at the local indian restaurant until chemo killed his taste buds and he rarely ate out after that (we were so 'regular' that we even got Christmas cards!!!). This time we are taking another friend who lost her husband a couple of years ago and is just beginning to pick up her social outings again. She is not so keen on going out in the dark evenings but we will see her home afterwards.

Visited Mum for nearly an hour today and gave her all my news. Bless her she really is not interested but I do not know what else I can do other than sit beside her and chat or read.The staff still try to get her to join in activities(she is just not interested in anything other than wanting to be left alone and wishing life could end sooner rather than later which does not make for easy conversation) ; today they had bought in a load of the art therapy colouring books but I have a feeling it will be the staff who benefit as they did not get many 'takers'.  Their job is truely vocational and I am very grateful for all they try and do for the residents.  I de-stressed at the gym and came home for lunch rather than eat out. Back to work tomorrow. Take care of yourself.Jules x

Hi Jules, good luck today and I hope your boss has at least acknowledged your discussion from last week but even better if he has come up with some ideas to resolve it for you all.

My shoulder op is only a day case thankfully so although I am not due in til midday I should be out a few hours later. I have never actually spent a night in hospital and don't intend to start now!  They will give me a 24 hour pain bloc during the procedure and a bagful of painkillers to take away for when that starts to wear off. Am also relying on his suggestion that recovery will only take a "few" days....

Oops, time to get going on the day so fingers & toes crossed for you.   Take care  Sue xx

Hi Brian, I am not surprised that you are  all at sixes and sevens at the moment. Both you and Mrs.B have had to deal with an awful lot over the last few weeks and you must be exhausted physically and emotionally I should think. I hope the emailed photos you received were of some comfort for you, although at the same time they must have made the situation even more real for you, if that makes sense?

Hope you get your eye appointment through soon so you have one less worry to contend with.

Sorry you've gone off the chestnuts (for now) but hope you enjoy the chips on Saturday as compensation!

Take care

Hi .Jules and Sue,

I had a long phone call from my sister in Canada last night and she told me the funeral went off realy well, with lots of dads old collegues from his railway days attending and telling some wonderful stories about him, most of which the family had never heard before. Including a story about how he was driving a train through the rockies many years ago when they hit a huge snow drift and the train was brought to am abrupt halt . So much so that when dad sneezed  he lost his false teeth in the snowdrift. Luckily one of his collegues found them for him.

The song I mentioned was played during the service and my sister mentioned to everyone how we have all taken on a part of dads personality and mannerisuims. My sister read what I had written during the service but she did say she nearly cried when she read it. She has sent me a copy of her speech and I learnt a lot more about dad from it. He loved fixing things that were broken, things that others were in the process of throwing out in a lot of cases. Another thing we share for I am very much the same. My dads brother is 91 years old but is still driving round Alberta delivering 1,000 gallon gas tanks and he told her some more funny stories about dad. They must build them tough out there.

I think Mrs B is getting over things slowly at least her diabetes has leveled out. Hope this continues especially as I am out for most of Saturday morning. 

Jules, I hope you enjoyed you evening out with your friends and had a good time. At least you now have the weekend here so you can relax a bit although knowing you, you'll find something to do

Sue I hope your op goes well and as Jules says, I bet you are looking forward to get it over and done with.

Hope you dont mind a joint response as I have a busy day today.

Take care both of you, sending best wishes and kind thoughts your way, Brian.

Hi Sue,

Good news that the shoulder procedure is a day care op. Much  nicer to be able to sleep in your own bed and everything crossed that pain relief is good and recovery is as quick as envisaged by the consultant.

Two busy days at work but have come to the decision that whilst it is frustrating not to be able to have extra staff (for me but especially for our customers) I have a manager who is doing his best with the 'tools' he is given. It seems that other retailers are in much the same boat and at least I can sympathise with other 'assistants' and earn smile points!!  On a positive note the 'budget' may allow for me to have a little more help next month which would be more than welcome.

I am enjoying the return of a pair of blackbirds plus a good number of goldfinches (I hear they are increasing due to more people putting up feeders!!). A hedgehog is also still visiting which shows how mild it is still.  Think we will all be taken by surprise when the temperatures finally drop.

Had a nice Indian meal out with two friends last night and we all caught up with family news and put the world to rights ha ha.  Had a few fireworks going off but very low key (not helped by the wet conditions) but most of the local events are tonight or tomorrow (not plans to attend!!).

  Hope you enjoy your weekend. Take care  Jules x