Oh Jules forgive my post on my site to you .....I am so sorry not to have known of your hubbies departure.  You know from the support you have given me how well I understand your current situation and my heart goes out to you.  My site tells of my joirney through this uncharted place you find yourself in.  It is difficult but you will come through.

All my thoughts and a big virtual hug

Ian x

Hi Ian

Just lovely to see your name appear on my thread and suspect its just as hard for you to post but I really appreciate the message.  It was a long three years for hubby and I take much comfort in the fact that he is now free from the clutches of his disease which took his happiness away.  I am surrounded by the love of my family and friends (and the ongoing support of virtuality buddies) and now, like you, my life must be lived to the best of my ability. Early days still but so many memories to cherish and share with others - a few late nights of 'story-telling' along the way.

Sending hugs and best wishes and hope all is well with you and Julie in your new life.  Jules x

Well, second attempt to post - lost the last one for some reason and taken an age to get back on site so here goes.

Firstly just wanted to wish your grandson (and family) all the very best for tomorrow.  He is such a brave little lad he deserves the best possible outcome from his forthcoming surgery.

With the temperature rising I hope you will soon be enjoying woodwork again and letting us see your new ideas/creations as they take shape.  The wood club is very lucky to have such a hands on member and after all your hard work enlisting discounts at various companies bet they will all be queueing up to take advantage and the public at large can reap the purcharsing rewards at the 'fairs' planned. Good luck with it all. With an improvement in the weather and temperatures I am hoping to get in the garden and get first mow under my belt by the weekend (bit frosty here just now).

My daughter is improving thank you for asking.  Spent 12hrs at their place on Tuesday but yesterday she managed to do the school run and spent time catching up socially with a couple of very supportive friends (mums with children at same school). She now just has to wait  for appointment with local hospital heart specialist as a follow up (should have happened already and was told to chase it up!!).

I spent a pleasant couple of hours yesterday afternoon with old friends from hubby's racing days (70/80's) - he was co-driver and owner of car they raced (750cc club) and gave me a lovely framed photo of them both with their pride and joy - not the 'then girlfriend - me, who apparently took the picture, - very touched and good to remember happy days.  She has had MS since aged 18 and they are a devoted couple with him as her principal carer for many years now - both amazing in how they cope - very humbling.

Well, off for my monthly check up with GP in around an hour - still being kept an eye on but am sure there are more worthy patients that should be using my slot so hoping this may be the last pre-booked appointment.

Sending you and Mrs B peaceful wishes for today and always. Jules

Hi Jules,
Am so pleased daughter is doing better, but what a bonus it is that you
are able to help out.
I visited in laws tdy as their car is off the road and MIL had medical appt so was happy to assist. Only stayed for 2 hrs not t lhe normal amount as had tradesmen coming here plus son and joy of joys grandson.
We had 2 hrs together which was magic.  Picked some cherry tomatoes which he washed and dried and left here...?
Don't think I will be able to accomplish all I wanted to prior to family visit, but the house is clean not designer beautiful, bit like me...basic and down to earth. Garden looking good, see my priorities....  Our family are pretty good.  All we need are the basics and each other.  I think this will def be last visit as the trip must be shocking for mum and siblings are getting older.
Thank you for tip re olive oil on hands at night.  My problem is lacerations not just dry skin.  Note to self wear blooming gloves.  
Sis still waiting for test results but from her emails appears her mobility is improved.
Just trying to work out how to use timer lamps in prep for being away over wedding period.  Will have managed it by this time next week.
Take care honey
Kathyxx
 

Hi Kathy

Its lovely when you get the chance to spend some quality time with family (even short periods lift the day and leave you realising how lucky you are to have them close).  As to getting your home 'ready for visitors' they will only have eyes for you, you know that!! We do not live in show houses, we live surrounded by things that we can enjoy and that brings us comfort by having it there (that's why it's so hard moving things out sometimes). I cannot believe some of the stuff I am finding as I begin at the top (I have a loft conversion bedroom!!) - things I have not used or worn for so long I cannot remember even when I bought them!!

Of course you will work out the timers - cannot help here as never had them ha ha but then I have neighbourhood watch (head honcho lives next door).

Visit to the docs for my 'widow ok check' went fine until she reminded me that I needed to get the cholesterol checked as its long overdue (why would I mention it!!!!).  Comfort eating must now become healthy so that when I go for blood tests in around a month (she kindly gave me until after my holiday at Easter) I am hoping it will be okay (am digging out quick and easy recipe book for inspiration but cooking is not on my likes list - roll on summer when I can revert to salads).

Now this is going to sound really weird but as regards 'lacerations' as long as they are infection free (of course they are) you just explain that they are 'happy workers' hands.  I hate wearing gloves in the garden (always weed without them and then regret it when I look at my nails!!) but will taken the precaution of wearing them when I prune the 'pricklies'.  Also have some nerve damage currently in one of my fingers which GP says could take up to 6 months to repair itself (another gardening injury!).

Well thats enough rambling from me.  Take care and don't whack yourself out with housework. Sending 'healing' hugs.  Jules x

Hi Kathy

Its lovely when you get the chance to spend some quality time with family (even short periods lift the day and leave you realising how lucky you are to have them close).  As to getting your home 'ready for visitors' they will only have eyes for you, you know that!! We do not live in show houses, we live surrounded by things that we can enjoy and that brings us comfort by having it there (that's why it's so hard moving things out sometimes). I cannot believe some of the stuff I am finding as I begin at the top (I have a loft conversion bedroom!!) - things I have not used or worn for so long I cannot remember even when I bought them!!

Of course you will work out the timers - cannot help here as never had them ha ha but then I have neighbourhood watch (head honcho lives next door).

Visit to the docs for my 'widow ok check' went fine until she reminded me that I needed to get the cholesterol checked as its long overdue (why would I mention it!!!!).  Comfort eating must now become healthy so that when I go for blood tests in around a month (she kindly gave me until after my holiday at Easter) I am hoping it will be okay (am digging out quick and easy recipe book for inspiration but cooking is not on my likes list - roll on summer when I can revert to salads).

Now this is going to sound really weird but as regards 'lacerations' as long as they are infection free (of course they are) you just explain that they are 'happy workers' hands.  I hate wearing gloves in the garden (always weed without them and then regret it when I look at my nails!!) but will taken the precaution of wearing them when I prune the 'pricklies'.  Also have some nerve damage currently in one of my fingers which GP says could take up to 6 months to repair itself (another gardening injury!).

Well thats enough rambling from me.  Take care and don't whack yourself out with housework. Sending 'healing' hugs.  Jules x

Hi Jules,
Your healing hugs much appreciated. 1.5 days to go.  Rooms ready and only a little shop required on Sunday.
This am we have hens party at a funhouse normally frequented by young kids, Dodgems ,water slides , putt putt etc.
Thanks to your example I have started donating some of hubby's clothing to local charities, little by little and the rest will wait till family have gone.
Have just heard sis cleared to travel and have list of healthy food requirements requested.  Other sis will join her on healthy choices so no crisps or cheesy things.  Guess if they are going to be good I can join them and show my support.  
Didn't tell the kids there was a chance she couldn't come or may have to return earlier than planned for specialist appt.  
Forecast for mid 20's for first week of their visit then see a few low 30's on the chart, but will have the air con if wanted.
Must go and get ready to gallivant and meet up with beautiful DIL and friends.  I am lucky to have such wonderful people in my life.  I am truly blessed.
Much love Kathyxx
 

Hi there Jules, and everyone

I thought I would stick my head out of my clouds briefly to say a quick hello and check on how you are doing.  I have had a look through some of these posts over the last month or so and I am so pleased for you that your Mum can stay where she is, what a load off your mind that must be.  I am sorry that I have been absent and so wasn't able to wish you the best for your end of journey service.  That must have been so difficult for the whole family but as always you help eachother through.

I did hit an all time low hence my last post and things are still very much a challenge but I will do as you demand and not give up the fight.  I have my first face to face assessment with a counsellor on Thursday next week which I trully hope will be the first step in helping me get back to some kind of normality but even now that really does seem a very long way off.

Every time I check my emails I always hope to see one from this site to say that the P.M. is back but sadly that still isn't the case. 

Anyway I will leave by giving you and everyone here my very best and I will try not to stay away quite so long next time.

Lots of love,

Garf. xx

Grrr, just lost a long post when my 'internet' flipped out.

Second attempt.  Just really wanted to wish you a lovely time with the family, from home and abroad.

Let the home take care of itself and thoroughly enjoy the time with everyone.  Just love celebrations and am trying to imagine  what the 'fun' hen do  would be like (adults going back to childhood comes to mind - sounds a blast so hope it was! Have a truly wonderful get together and wishing future happiness to the bride and groom (even though I only know of them throught he virtual world). Have a piece of cake for me please.

Have found it quite worthwhile letting the charity shops benefit by my spring cleaning but when I do  not feel like tackling the job I wait until I do! Have attacked my wardrobe for a couple of hours today and was horrified to find how much I could move on (but now have lots of empty hangers (perhaps I should put them in the bags as well).

Spent more hours in the garden than I should have over the past two days as the weather has been very good -17deg today so lawn mowed and tidying begun (body aching but for the right reasons ha ha).

Take care, have a whale of a time with the family  both home and abroad. Love and hugs  Jules (sending with fingers firmly crossed this time)

Great to hear from  you Garf and to know that you are having professional help  with your demons.  Believe me I do understand how hard this must be for you and your other half (23 years in a home with a Mum with depression gives me a clearer window I suppose).  Have courage and take guidance and I really hope there will be a huge light at the end of the tunnel.

Hope Hannah is being helped with her health issues and that they got to the bottom of the problem.  I am sure you are worrying for 'England' (Mum does!) and wish the PM facility was enabled but they are having to set it up from scratch (Max has a petition thread which is keeping everyone informed as the Moderators respond to our moans and groans).

Am adjusting slowly to life as one rather than two and mutual support with children and grandchildren does help a lot.  Am enjoying the better weather as can get into the garden and am rebuilding my wildlife corner now that have new back wall up. Body aches but for all the right reasons, I think.

Back to work (again) on Monday following two weeks holiday (had to be used up or lost!) and to be honest have rather enjoyed the last few days but that could be due to sunshine.  Next weekend will be new F1 season (and Mothering Sunday - spent with both children as am being treated to tea and cakes) and will be strange watching it without hubby so perhaps just as well son enjoys it too!

Right am off to sort my dinner so will say all the very best to you and send peaceful hug.Jules x 

  Hi Jules.You are one great Lass always good to read your post`s I cut my grass for the first time today and then fed it .Fed all my rose`s and shrubs some are comming to flower now the chameila`s look great .Regards for now take care .george x

Good afternoon Jules,

Have had a very busy day today. Started to cot out my new owl picture frame (Trial run/prototype) Then managed to persuade Mrs B to go out for a drive. Went out for two hours and visited a garden centre on  route. Then when I got back I nearly finished off the pict/frame All I have to do is to glue the eyes on and fix the brass picture turns on the back. The first item is always a big learning curve and the next one always take a lot less time. Will post picture tommorow.

But enough about me. Hope you had an enjoyable evening last night. Hope your daughter is okay now. I am surprised you have been able to mow the lawns allready. As the houses where I live were all built where there used to be a large pond, the ground was all built up but with clay so the ground takes a long time to dry out. Hope you have got used to your new washing machien and it must be a lot easier than having to go to the laundrete and less time consuming too.

My grandson had everyone laghing at the hospital when he had his pre op yesyerday. He even told them he wants the same room he had when he had his hernia done. When I was doing his story on Wednesday evening, he was pretending to make me some food. So I told him, "Your making your dads mouth water with all this food", and he replied, "He's too fat allready". Poor dad. He is a ckeeky liitle lad. Dont have any idea where he gets it from????????

Hope the rain holds off for your usual Sunday morning walk. Have a peaceful day tommorrow, hugs, Brian.

Good afternoon Jules,

Have had a very busy day today. Started to cot out my new owl picture frame (Trial run/prototype) Then managed to persuade Mrs B to go out for a drive. Went out for two hours and visited a garden centre on  route. Then when I got back I nearly finished off the pict/frame All I have to do is to glue the eyes on and fix the brass picture turns on the back. The first item is always a big learning curve and the next one always take a lot less time. Will post picture tommorow.

But enough about me. Hope you had an enjoyable evening last night. Hope your daughter is okay now. I am surprised you have been able to mow the lawns allready. As the houses where I live were all built where there used to be a large pond, the ground was all built up but with clay so the ground takes a long time to dry out. Hope you have got used to your new washing machien and it must be a lot easier than having to go to the laundrete and less time consuming too.

My grandson had everyone laghing at the hospital when he had his pre op yesyerday. He even told them he wants the same room he had when he had his hernia done. When I was doing his story on Wednesday evening, he was pretending to make me some food. So I told him, "Your making your dads mouth water with all this food", and he replied, "He's too fat allready". Poor dad. He is a ckeeky liitle lad. Dont have any idea where he gets it from????????

Hope the rain holds off for your usual Sunday morning walk. Have a peaceful day tommorrow, hugs, Brian.

Good evening Brian, just logged on to my e mails before settling down to watch some tv.

 Glad your grandson got through his pre-op and his cheekiness will help him and the whole family cope - he is a little diamond and do wish him well. Let us know how the op goes.

Look forward to seeing the start of your new wooden adventures and bet it felt good being able to get back to it.  Lovely that you were able to take Mrs B for such a long drive - did  you find anything nice at the garden centre.  My son is going to take me along next time he goes as we both need compost for containers and I have a feeling other things will find their way into my trolley!!

Washing machine is okay but nice that I can dry outside even though it does have a drying facility you cannot beat the freshness that hanging outside gives you. Enjoyed my night out, though going alone felt a little strange (my friend went to Cheltenham with her husband for a day at the races) but had a little win so worth the bus journies and will save it towards my spending money on holiday in April. Looking forward to my walk tomorrow though still have to decide where to go - will see what the morning brings.

Have a peaceful day with Mrs B.Take care. Jules x

Good afternoon Jules,

Here is the finished owl frame. Will have to put a better picture in it though. Have allready nearly got the next two rady. Just needd to make the base plate and cut the perspex and hardbord for the back. These took less than half the timethan the one shown in the picture and will be even better quality.

Hope you enjoyed your walk. Kind regards Brian.

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Woo hoo Brian, looking good and   bet it felt good to be back doing what you love. Hope you were pleased with the results of  your labours.

I had a quiet morning yesterday in the end as was invited to go on a country park walk in the afternoon so saved my energy! Had much fun watching eldest grandson scoot and run round and retrieved muddy welly when he 'left it behind' when he tried to free himself (hilarious look on his face when he realised!!).  However did not learn and when it happened again it was his Dad that did the honours but this time he had put his foot back down - yuk - It was a squelchy walk back to the car park with more mud on the inside of the welly than on the outside so a bit of cleaning up required (and a bath to look forward to!). 

Am having the two boys after eldest finishes school today as my daughter has a doc's appointment following on from her hospital trip last week and we are hopeful they can fast-track her heart check up at Harefield Hosp to help ease her mind.  Bless her she is struggling a little at the moment with all that has occured so far this year so will help as much as I am able.

Am back into work today (not really looking forward to it if I am honest, as have kind of got used to being able to get on with things as and when I wanted but needs must and I suppose I will be fine once back into the routine again) and will miss being able to get into the garden - lovely sunny (and frosty) start  hre but apparently will be raining by time I leave to come back home.

Well, breakfast is done and dusted  so best move on.  Hope you and Mrs B have a good day.  Hugs  Jules x

Hello Jules, not been on for a while, busy taking care of mum.  I am feeling very emotional this morning, trying to get a few bits done and the tears are flowing.  My mum looks so frail lately with the weight loss. I took my brother to the airport at 4.30am today after his weekend visit, always sad to see him go!  Ordered repeat prescription forms mums gp surgery last Thursday and when it was delivered late Friday and I checked it Saturday there were two missing sets of tablets!  I spoke to the chemist who confirmed they did not receive the request, so complained to her gp surgery at 9am.  Unbelievable, I said you never call to see how things are and the last home visit I requested the gp actually asked her what was wrong with her. So I think my tears are sadness, worry, frustration and some anger today.  Sometimes I just feel so alone dealing with this even though I have you, God bless you, Macmillan etc it's still so hard.  I read this last post and you know it made me feel better right away, so happy to see you have had a lovely weekend, enjoy your day at work, speak soon.....Kerrie xxxx

Hi Kerrie

This journey is such a rollercoaster of emotions isn't it?  I expect seeing off  your brother makes  you feel like you are having to cope all alone again and its both frustrating and frightening in equal measure. It certainly does not help with the professionals treat you/your Mum like a number and cannot get her meds ordered properly - not surprised you pulling your hair out.  I know I found it increasingly difficult watching my husband  take the downward spiral and knowing you cannot change it for the better is pretty awful but always remember you are doing your best and are not superhuman.  I am sure your Mum is very glad to have you nearby but it would seem that the doc and nurses need to be reminded that she needs their attention too. It feels like sometimes when they know there is a relative easily to hand things can be let slide as you need to keep on asking.  We were, I realise very very lucky with hubby's medical team and just wish it was the same level of service for everyone.  Its good to have the forum to offload on - it kept me sane for many months during our journey and am here for you now whenever you fancy or can manage to chat.

First day back at work was pretty hectic but just means the time rushes by.  I had the grandchildren for an hour or so after school finished as my daughter needed to attend her GP and its easier without a toddler and a six year old.  Gave them their tea so that she can enjoy a relaxing evening with her husband once he returns from work. 

Look after yourself. Sending hugs. Jules x

Good morning Jules,

The owl now has another two friends to keep him company and yes I have enjoyed getting back out to my woodwork. Have had to go to the tip today to empty my sawdust bins, most of it from last year I might add. It is amazing how much sawdust one small turning produces.

It's nice weather for your walk to your mothers place and you may even be able to spend time in your garden. Glad to hear you had a small win at the bingo on Friday evening. Have you regained you concentration for reading yet? I can undersatnd it as when I lost my mother, I had difficulty in concentrating on anything for a few weeks.

Tommorow evening I have our next woodclub meeting when we are going to annonce the names of the companies giving discount. I have got to print up a little booklet to show our members and will then ask how many would like a copy for a small sum to cover printing costs. Tommorow I will start to make to make up a jig for turning oval frames. This is going to be a challenge even though I have drawn up a rough plan. It's going to be very much trial and error but I am determined not to be beaten..

Hope you have a peaceful day, Take care, Brian.

Hi Brian

So you are adding to your owl family (Mrs B will be delighted and you may have trouble getting them out of the house ha ha).  I am sure with your 'I can do it' philosophy you will succeed with the new jig and hope also that you have a lot of interest in your 'discount company booklet' after the effort you have put into it - am sure you will.

The walk to Mum's was lovely and so many front gardens brightened up with spring bulbs. Felt really relaxed when I arrived half an hour later.  To add to my pleasure Mum was on a good day and we had a real happy chat for an hour and she also asked (and got) a manicure by the 'activity lady'.  She was off into enjoy fish pie for lunch followed by a trip upstairs to the hair salon (hairdressers come in two days a week).  I do try to make the most of these visits.  Will be going in again on Sunday morning before being 'treated' to an afternoon of tea and cakes by my children and their other halves. 

The little win at bingo will be added to my holiday pot so something to look forward to.  Have a peaceful day with MrsB.  Kind thoughts sent your way.  Jules

Hi Jules,

I have something I would like to share  with you regarding my youngest grandson. As you may remember he has to go into hospital on Friday for his operation. My son has told us about something that was said when he was in  for his pre op last week.

My greandson was asked if he wanted to wear a hospital gown or his pajamas when he has his op. He replied, "If you mean that gown where your bum falls out the back, I would sooner wear my pajamas. I'm not showing my bum to anyone". Needless to say, all the nurses and doctors fell about laughing and others came to see what all the laughter was about.

Hope you get a big a laugh about it as we did, take care, Brian.

Hi Brian

Your grandson is a marvel and as with lots of kiddies has 'an old head on young shoulders' and a wonderful sense of humour - definitely following in grandad's footsteps I reckon. I do so wish him all the very best for Friday as he really deserves a break.  Thanks for cheering me up no end.  Jules x

Hi Jules,

Thanks for your reply and kind wishes. I ent to se my grandson last night before going to the woodclub. He told me he is reading The Hobbit Book and has got up to page 85. My son told me he has alrready told the hospital he is taking the book in with hin in case he gets time to read any more.

With regard to the ad on Facebook I was pleased to be able to help. This site has helped so many so anything that brings more members has to be a good thing. I managed to mow the front lawn but the back one is still to wet as yet. Enjoyed the meeting last night as it was about a local group that go aroung repairing all the styles on the local footpaths. On Saturday I have another cancer meeting so still keeping busy.

Have also been to my local nut shop and have stocked up. Made the staff laugh as I told them I was concerned when I found the old shop closed. But found out they were just moving round the corner. So while writting this I am feasting on some cashew nuts.

Hope you have  a good few days off now and that you have a good night out tommorow night. Take care, best wishes, Brian