Oh Jules forgive my post on my site to you .....I am so sorry not to have known of your hubbies departure.  You know from the support you have given me how well I understand your current situation and my heart goes out to you.  My site tells of my joirney through this uncharted place you find yourself in.  It is difficult but you will come through.

All my thoughts and a big virtual hug

Ian x

Hi Ian

Just lovely to see your name appear on my thread and suspect its just as hard for you to post but I really appreciate the message.  It was a long three years for hubby and I take much comfort in the fact that he is now free from the clutches of his disease which took his happiness away.  I am surrounded by the love of my family and friends (and the ongoing support of virtuality buddies) and now, like you, my life must be lived to the best of my ability. Early days still but so many memories to cherish and share with others - a few late nights of 'story-telling' along the way.

Sending hugs and best wishes and hope all is well with you and Julie in your new life.  Jules x

Hello Brian,

Haven't spoken to you for a long while, I hope you are OK.  I don't come on the site as often as I used to but always like to check in from time to time on my forum buddies who supported me so well.  I have read your post to Jules and am sad to read that you experienced people who didn't understand your need to talk about your loss.  I totally agree that it is part of the healing process to talk through everything and to talk about our lost ones openly.  I had a similar experience with somebody I had thought was a good friend of many years who, when I was grieving, told me she was sick of me talking about my Mum and Dad because she had things to get on with in her life.  Needless to say she has yet not had to encounter grief.  When we experience loss it changes us forever; I hope I will always have understanding for people going through such a terrible time.  Anyway Brian just thought I'd rant too in agreement with you!  Take care.  Hope x

Hi Hope,

Thanks for your post. We must have been thinking along the same lines for I was thinking of posting to you as I realized the other day we had not spoken for quite some time. My psa regarding my prostate has only gone up a very small amount so everything looking good on the health front. Glad to read your sons are both doing well and that you have been keeping busy. I hope you are keeping well too. I notice you are still keeping up the good work by helping others on here.

Take care my forum buddy sending kind thoughts and best wishes your way, Brian.

Hi again Brian, I'm so glad to read your health is keeping good.  Best wishes to you and Mrs B.  Hope x

Good morning Brian and Hope

Hope you dont mind a joint response (saves you double reading ha ha). The 'final journey' service for hubby yesterday was very poignant but it was necessary for us all to bring some closure to what has been a rather elongated 'goodbye' caused by professional' failures (hard to deal with).  I do feel that we are now beginning again the healing process that the loss of a loved one brings.  As you both have said we are blessed with the fact that we talk openly and often about hubby/dad/grandad (not something I am sure he would understand having  been such a quiet person himself!). Many humerous memories to recall over such a long period (its the little things that set you off!!) as well as frustrating times (let's face it no one is perfect) but overall he put a lot into his work life and his family, was generous and dignified and  our family, though a small unit, will keep him close in our hearts as we continue to try and make him proud.

Am off to do the 'supermarket sweep' shortly and out for usual social evening tonight and then spending time with family tomorrow as we celebrate daughter's birthday tomorrow (son's is next weekend so having dinner and 'cake').  I know it wont be easy for us all but we are doing it together and keep a candle burning and hope in our hearts.

Brian - hope the computer glitches are now a thing of the past (technology great when it works but such a pain when it plays up).  Hope you and Mrs B ave a peaceful and perhaps 'nutty' weekend.

Hope - Good to hear your boys are continuing to achieve - how proud you and your husband must feel as you watch them grow.  Wishing them all the best with next round of exams/results and though I know you only 'drop in' to the forum from time to time do hope you are managing okay. 

Stay well, sending thank you hugs. Jules x

Dear Jules,  I'm so glad that the service brought some sort of closure for you, although it must still be difficult to come to terms with the mistakes that were made.  I'm glad you have your lovely family around you and I will continue to think of you as you move forwards.  Hope x

Good morning Jules,

Sounds like you a going to have a lovely day today even though I am sure there will be moments of sadness as well. But the closeness you share as a family will help you through those moments. It must be a great comfort to you that you can share both sad and happy times together as a family. 

I have now got 26 places all round Sussex where our members can get a discount which should help offset the cost of our members subscription fees. We have also now finalized the dates for our exhibitions/shows for this year. The first one is not until May. So as soon as the weather warms up, I will be starting on this years new lines.

Mrs B's carnations arrived yesterday for valentines day and as a reward, she has baked me some heart shaped cheese bisciuts. Mind you Jules I was blackmailed into buying the flowes by a promise of the cheese biscuits. You ladies know how to get us men to do what you want us to do ha ha.

Take care, have a lovely day today Jules, will be thinking of you, Brian.

Thanks Hope and Brian

Have enjoyed family time today and as usual the grandchildren stole the show (along with a very excitable Westie who did lots of chasing before enjoying a well earned marrowbone). Of course, the inner emotions did battle with the need to  help our daughter enjoy her birthday and think we all managed well to get the right balance. We all enjoyed an Indian takeaway followed buy my son's girlfriend's chocolate cake (very naughty but very good!). Tomorrow my daughter and I have a day out without the little ones so should be able to shop till we drop though it will be a lot of window shopping and chat.

Your reference to Mrs B's flowers being well deserved bearing in mind you got a fair swap (heart shaped cheesy biscuits) just shows how well you know each other.  Hubby was no romantic but always told me to 'get myself some flowers' when we went shopping around Valentines Day so bought myself a couple of bunches yesterday and they look lovely. As I walked back, I passed a florist and sitting on the table outside was a miniature pair of pottery wellies (with bee features) containing an african violet - its now sitting as a centrepiece on my dining table.

Did make some plans to take the grandchildren to London for the day when I am not working this week and then the following week the eldest has a 'training day' off school and I am on annual leave so have booked to go on the London Eye as a treat for us to enjoy (son in law does not 'do heights' so daughter and I will take the two boys).

Well time is moving forward again and I need to get some shut eye.  Best regards to you both and all my forum buddies. Jules x

Hi Jules, 
Good to see you had a lovely time with the family, always a joy.  It's hard to believe you only have one more week  at work then leave with the family.  I have had a few computer issues then had grandson here for 36 hours which was such fun.  Although it was a hot one we had fun with buckets of water, plastic cups and water balloons.  The simple things in life...
Re the family visit it's still going ahead at present.  Sister has requested a wheelchair for airport travel as has mum.  Sister still unable to walk far and still no diagnosis from docs.  Mum has been put on bp tabs but to get to 88 without being on any Meds is quite an accomplishment.  Three weeks till they arrive.  There will be lots of tears and lots of laughter.  Also a good excuse to raise a glass to absent "friends".
Did you have any luck at Friday night outing?
I went out for tea with 2 friends during the week, quite a novel experience driving myself out to a pub.  It was pleasant enough and the meal was good value.  Getting back to car I found my driving glasses had cracked but had another pair in glovebox.  It wasn't really hot so who knows why it happened.  Guess I need to carry them in handbag from now on, what a pain.
Just found the latest on you mum on Kerries thread, thought I was really losing it as couldn't find it on yours but was sure I had seen it somewhere.  The things you do to keep me on my toes... Haha.
Well Jules will head out and do some work outside, only in little spurts as is 38 tdy, but beats sitting inside.  Big hugs
Love Kathy xxx
 

Hi Kathy

So I ramble on other threads as well as my own, oh my. Sometimes just forget where I am - virtually or otherwise ha ha.

Bet you had great fun with the water games outside in that heat and yes love the way kiddies can have a great time without too much expense - going back a lot of years I remember my two as small kids spending outs filling and emptying jugs of water in and out of an old washing up bowl in the middle of my lawn!!!(now its the grandson making mud pies (yesterday too even though only 8degrees!!). 

Pleased to read that your family members (plus wheels) hope to be with you for your celebrations and 'absent friends' toasts will be emotional but part of the day. Your Mum has done amazingly well to only now need medication for her blood pressure.  MyMum will be 89 inMay and takes all sorts of pills for many different ailments and says she should rattle when she walks .We celebrated my daughter's birthday yesterday and whilst, like you, emotionally charged it was good to be altogether. Today her and I had a girlie shopping day out with lunch (son in law had the boys) and she has just dropped me off an left to help put them to bed.  She relished the 'time out' (especially trying clothes on in peace!!) and will enjoy her next day out (her husband got her a spa day for 2 as her birthday treat) too.  Helps to recharge her batteries.

A few of us seem to be having 'computer issues' - my phone line is 'noisy' and creating intermittant loss of net access (you may get some peace and quiet from me until it gets fully sorted) so waiting for engineers diagnostics again (think the wiring could do with being updated!!!!!!).

Take care and am now about to do the ironing before going into work tomorrow. Sendng hugs back your way.  Jules x

Hi Jules,  Glad you had a nice day with your daughter for her birthday, albeit emotional as I can imagine.  Anniversaries of any kind are always difficult, especially at the beginning.  Your planned trip to the London Eye this week sounds great, hope the weather holds out so you get a good view.  Take care.  Hope x

Hi Jules,  Glad you had a nice day with your daughter for her birthday, albeit emotional as I can imagine.  Anniversaries of any kind are always difficult, especially at the beginning.  Your planned trip to the London Eye this week sounds great, hope the weather holds out so you get a good view.  Take care.  Hope x

Thanks for your kind post Hope.  Am very lucky to have family close by and the mutual support we are able to give each other really is helping us cope with our new situation.

Spent an hour visiting Mum after work today as am in London tomorrow.  She is somewhat low just now and no matter what I say still wishing herself in the same place as hubby. Bless her she has just had enough and not enjoying her life any more.Don't dare put into print what she told me she would like for her birthday (not until May so she is still thinking ahead!!) but did manage to talk her into having her hair done when the hairdresser visits tomorrow as is usual. She still thinks hubby is the lucky one  just now.

Hope you are enjoying the half term break. Take care, sending hugs.Jules x

Hi Jules, 

I know you'll be in London enjoying the sights with your family; hope you're all having a great time (remember to build in lots of coffee/treat stops - sightseeing can be pretty tiring ;) 

Hope to hear all about it soon, hugs, Jo xx

Hi Jo

Hopiny my net connection lasts long enough to reply to my e mail - very noisy landline is causing havoc so once again awaiting engineers grrrrr.

Just in from a lovely day out.  Arrived in London in time to watch changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace - Eldest grandson really loved the mounted Guardsmen who were the escort and got some good photos to show their Dad.  Then walked through St James Park to Whitehall (packed lunch in the park) then on through Trafalgar Square to Regent Street (Hamleys to spend his £10 savings).  Zack slept on the tube up toLondon and was great for the whole day considering he was confined to his pushchair!.  Beautiful sunny day and rounded off with a Wimpy tea treat. Now a lazy evening before being back into work tomorrow.  Return to London next Monday (teachers' training day) to do Big Ben, Houses of Parliament, London Eye (booked) and if not too cream crackered then the Aquarium.Believe it or not eldest grandson was still running when we came out of the station!!!

How are you doing, okay, I hope.  Nice day for a walk with the dog if you were up to it or are you in planning mode for next term?  Take care and sending hugs back Jules xx

Hello Jules, I'm glad you had a nice day out in London.  Sorry to hear that your Mum is low, must be difficult for you especially at the present time.  I'm enjoying the hols so far and having a nice rest.  Take care and speak soon.  Hope x

Good morning Jules,

Very pleased you had a great day out in London. Little ones have so much energy they put us to shame. I spent most of yesterday typing out the names, addresses and phone numbers of companies who have agreed to give our club members a discount so we can get them published in our next news letter. Another benifit for our members.

Brother in law is still okay even though some days he does still feel tired. My son has just set another archery club record but grandaughter has not been going to practise as she has been getting so much homework lately. Still havent felt like going out to my garage to do more turning as although the weather has been nice, it's always so cold in my garage. Plus holding cold metal tools, standing in one spot and feeling the draught from the lathe makes it far worse. Bit frustrating as I want to try out some more new projects. At least my garage roof is no longer leaking so wont be getting a free shower every time it rains ha ha.

By the time you get to read this you will be starting you holiday leave. I feel sure you will enjoy your planned sightseing trip to London and your ride on the London Eye. I would imaging thats quite an exciting experiance, especially for the young ones. It's nice that you have such a good rapore with them as I do belive grandparents play such a vital role in childrens upbringing. I know from my own experiance, that sometimes my grandchildren take more notice of things I tell them than they do of their parents.

Well I have rambled enough for today Jules. Take care and I wish you a great time away from work, plus I hope you can get your internet problems sorted. Best wishes to you and your family, Brian

Hi Hope

Glad you finding time to relax during the school holidays.Wish my daughter could say the same ha ha. The excess energy of a six year old and little Zack's teething (very very disturbed nights just now) means I know she will be pleased to see school resume. Had phone engineer today who says all is well so we will see how it goes (of course the line was not noisy when they came, how typical is that!). Had daughter and kiddies for a few hours today and helped with homework (reading, spellings and the 'copying'of a poem into his school book was needed and all achieved between me and his Mum.  Somehow easier to concentrate when there maybe a little treat available (had bought him an I Spy book of London and he was very pleased as was able to tick a few off (and no doubt a few more after our next trip on Monday (hoping for good weather for the London Eye). Enjoy your weekend before returning to the mayhem that is work!  Sending hugs  Jules x

'

Hi Brian

Good to hear that your brother in law is doing well and hope this continues (he has a great example in you and someone who truly understands is very helpful).  Congrats to your son on his further archery success and am sure your grand-daughter will be 'catching him up' when school work allows.  So much to fit in. Hope you and Mrs B have had a good day today.  I have had phone engineer (who failed to find a fault and just typical no noise on the line when they came) so will have to see how it goes now. Am going to get myself new cordless phone tomorrow just in case its the 'antique' one I currently have.  Am also trying to take myself in hand with my ' healthy eating' again as the comfort eating brings its own problems.  Have written a list of ingredients for the store cupboard and am planning a session in the kitchen whilst on leave so I can have 'home made' ready meals in the freezer (never really enjoyed cooking but used to batch cook when I worked full time and maybe this will stop me heading towards the 'naughty foods' though still allow myself small treat.

First three days next week already 'booked up' with places to go, people to see plus hopefully getting the garden wall finally built. Am out this evening for my usual Friday night outing (not sure for how much longer as my friends are soon to move to a bungalow nearer to family but apparently I am going for 'sleepovers' as soon as they are settled).

Well ramble over and need to eat before going out so say cheerio for now and wish you and Mrs B a peaceful weekend ahead.  Take care  Jules x

Good morning Jules,

I hope you enjoyed you Friday night out and that maybe you even had a win. As regards the comfort eating, I dont blame you with all you have had to deal with recrently. After all Brianitus is still going strong so who am I to judge you????

Just typical when you want your phone line to play up with the engineer there ready to sort it out, it works perfectly. I have dropped some hints this morning about cheese straws to Mrs B but she was suddenly hard of hearing. This hearing suddenly improves however when I mention flowers!!!!!! Just dont understand it ha ha.

Sounds like you have a busy week ahead of you next week but feel sure you will enjoy it and I know your grandchildren will. It is many years since I went to London to look around.I fact thinking about it I believe it was when my son was quite young and I took him to some of the museums up there.

I hope you enjoy your walk tommorow morning. If you do please dont mention you have bought some more cheese as it makes Kathy's mouth water and we don't want to do that do we. CHEESE KATHY, sorry about that.

Take care Jules, have a peaceful weekend for it sounds as if you will need it for next week, Best wishes and kind thoughts, Brian.

Hi Brian

Well, no luck at the bingo on Friday but still good to be out with friend and to catch up on family news in between games. She also took me Lidl shopping yesterday as they go once a month and I am in the process of re-building a store cupboard ready for some healthier eating (still have to finish the naughty food up but not so much now!).  Kathy is safe from me as the Farmers Market not on today so will not be buying her fave food (hope you are doing okay Kathy - not long now to family wedding and am thinking of you as I know how emotional this will be for you all). Just to tickle your tastebuds Brian saw some nuts whilst shopping and thought of you (did not buy any though!).

Trying to get my head around the fact that I need to voice (write) my concerns of the 'mistakes' made during 'due process' during the arrangements for hubby though know it needs to be done, if only to prevent it happening to another family. I would not wish the emotional fall out on my worst enemy. Have tried to do draft letter but as there are two professionals at fault will have to deal with them separately. Not easy having to think about it all but know that, as a family, we need to have someone take notice and an apology would not be too much to ask I feel.  Perhaps my morning walk later will clear the cobwebs away and give me a boost in the right direction.

Well have bought a new cordless phone so need to read some instructions and see if I can get it set up on my own or whether being such a technophobe I will get the children to sort it when they next pop in.

Have a good day.  Regards  Jules x

Hi Jules,
Just lost a huge note to you, but let's try again....
Love how you say read the instructions before using.... Know it well.
All good here, family arrive 2 weeks tdy, am so excited.
Big sis has strange blood tests increase in creatine kinase will wait for 12 weeks for tests.  Needs lie down during day to be able to stay up 12 hrs plus.  She is 57 so quite a concern.  Best natured and most unselfish of my siblings.  She is the one who travelled out in July to help us and went home a physical and emotional wreck as had not been exposed to a terminal illness before and what is involved.  Was most supportive of how we were dealing with situation, talking and expressing our love a lot openly, but impacted her tremendously.  I will never forget what her spending time with us meant.
Anyway onto brighter subjects, 2 weeks till the family arrive, woo hoo, my madcap crew of cheese freaks, did you hear that Brian??? You would be in for a severe spanking with a birch rod , but honey you may enjoy it too much.... I must say not happy at the new movie out pinching  many of my catch phrases/ sayings.
Been hot last 2 days 40, but nothing you can do to change the weather.  Go with the flow.  Still I spent some time outside doing my stuff.  Yes I am mad, no question.
Great how you are enjoying keeping busy.  I was offered a job recently but not yet ready.....
Let's see if I can copy and paste this without losing it....
lots of love Kathyxxx