Oh Jules forgive my post on my site to you .....I am so sorry not to have known of your hubbies departure.  You know from the support you have given me how well I understand your current situation and my heart goes out to you.  My site tells of my joirney through this uncharted place you find yourself in.  It is difficult but you will come through.

All my thoughts and a big virtual hug

Ian x

Hi Ian

Just lovely to see your name appear on my thread and suspect its just as hard for you to post but I really appreciate the message.  It was a long three years for hubby and I take much comfort in the fact that he is now free from the clutches of his disease which took his happiness away.  I am surrounded by the love of my family and friends (and the ongoing support of virtuality buddies) and now, like you, my life must be lived to the best of my ability. Early days still but so many memories to cherish and share with others - a few late nights of 'story-telling' along the way.

Sending hugs and best wishes and hope all is well with you and Julie in your new life.  Jules x

Hi Jules, oh my giddy aunt, the description of your spring bulbs had me yearning for home, then quick reality check as to the cold weather.... Nah. 

Great sleepover was good and you were able to comfort wee one.  Teething is so bad for littlies.

Neighbour down the street come round late yesterday avo so we spent a few hours chatting was most enjoyable.

Big sis is having major issues with leg/hip/knee pain as yet undiagnosed referred to physio by doc 2 weeks ago.... Try heat.... Try cold packs..  Bleep bleep - because I am a lady haha

For goodness sake treat the cause not the symptoms.

If worst comes to worst she won't be able to fly and think mum and other sis will chose to stay with her.  Her health is of my prime concern not my emotional needs.  Sorry Jules, just biting my tongue re opinion of some medical people, Breathe in... Breathe out....  As always Jules thank you for being there and listening.. Big hugs Kathy xx

Hi Kathy

Sush a shame that your big sis is having problems with her hip/legs which the docs seem unable to solve (second opinion sounds like a good idea to me!). Just the fact that it could mean her having to miss family celebration due to 'possible incompetence' is enough to make your blood boil and you must be worried for her too - not something you need right now either.  Think if it was me I would take myself to A&E *(in agony) and see if they could diagnose the problem but no doubt easier said than done.Will hope for the best that it can be sorted in time for all the family peace.

Glad you got together with your enighbour - always nice to have new friends to share a cuppa with.

I jumped another hurdle on this new 'journey for one' yesterday as I went out for a meal to local Indian restaurant with four very good friends.  It was with mixed emotions as you can imagine but came through it and the company and the food was very good. Hubby loved a good curry and before his illness took hold we were regular restaurant goers (never been much good at replicating a good Indian meal at home ha ha).

Beautiful bright sunny crisp day today so will be off out shortly for my Sunday stroll. Its about one and a half miles to local garden centre (also has a indoor gift/plant section and cafe). Its a good place for quirky gifts and pretty household bits so who knows, may make a purchase or two.  This afternoon my son and other half are calling in along with their Westie so that may give me a break from the sorting and clearing (trying to do a little most days so its not too daunting) - think  I may need a new shredder by the end of it all!

Well enough of my rambling; take care of yourself lovely lady. Sending hugs  Jules x

Hi Jules,

Sorry I've not been in touch lately, but like you, I headed back to work last week and somehow, time seems to have disappeared! 

Your Sunday stroll sounded lovely - I love a wander round a garden centre (and a the compulsory coffee and cake in the coffee shop!) 

I hope you have a good week this week and don't work too hard!

I'm going to sign off and post this as the forum is playing up (seems to be a regular occurance just lately! - never known so many glitches!) I do seem to be able to write in paragraphs now though - always a silver lining haha! 

Take care, sending hugs, Jo xx

Hi Jo

Glad you have been able to get back to work; it does help having the pattern of routine again and am sure you are being well supported and they are delighted to see you there too. If your school is the same as round this way, next week is half term (I think on my days off I will be having fun with daughter and grandkids).

Its pretty weird, having just returned from bereavement leave I have 'holiday' to use up prior to 1st April and so am 'lady of leisure' again last week in Feb/first week March.  Is is too much to hope for that the weather may be a little warmer and I may be able to spend time outside (unfortunately builder did not turn up to do back wall so need to get new quotes but hope this will be sorted soon as I can then feel the urge to get tidying- (overgrown bottom of garden is my security blanket at present ha ha).

The children and I are attending a service for hubby on Thursday and am hoping this will continue the healing process of our loss.

Take care and sending hugs.  Jules x

Hi Jules,

Regarding you and your children attending a service, reminded me of when my mother passed away. I recieved an invite to attend a memorial service run by a hospice that my mother had attended. I have to admit I umed and arred but eventually decided to go. I was very glad I did in the end. There were about 25 to 30 families there and it was a very moving evening. I had to drive about 15 mile to get there. The service wasnt too churcified but was very nice way to remember our loved ones.

I hope your evening is as nice as mine was. Take care best wishes and kind thoughts being sent your way, Brian.

Hi Jules,

You're so right about the benefits of having a routine to follow - although the alarm going off has been a bit of a shock to the system, rather than waking naturally (or unnaturally when my cat decides to jump on me to demand breakfast!) 

Our half term holiday is the same as yours, so we'll both be ladies of leisure next week. I hope you have some good days with your daughter and grandchildren. 

I'll be thinking of you and your family on Thursday - I'm sure it will be another emotional occasion, but as you say, another step towards the healing process. 

Take care lovely forum buddy, Jo xx

Thanks Brian.  The service is mid afternoon and though emotional for us will, I am sure,help us to move forward. Its our daughter's birthday this weekend and our son's 30th the following weekend so will be in an emotional bubble for a while no doubt; all part of the grieving process.As the lovely Beryl would say, baby steps.

Busy at work is keeping the mind from wandering too often but having reflective moments and good memories to draw on will keep us all 'in the now' and beyond.

Hope you and Mrs B are keeping okay.  Jules x

Ah Jo, I always set the alarm (just in case) but my body seems to have in-built alarm as I am usually awake by 5.30 no matter what time I hit the sack!  Annoyingly this happens whether I am working or not.

Hope to have a day in London (outdoor parks and sights if the weather is up to it or Natural History/Science Museum if wet) but will see what my day off brings.  It will be nice for my daughter to have an extra pair of hands though the eldest also has tennis club on one day, swimming lesson and no doubt time out and about with friends he has from school. To be honest if he can be on his bike (with ball in bag) he is just as happy at the local park/lido. I know who will be the most tired at the end of the day ha ha. (at least at my age I get free travel).

Well bought some flowers in with me so had best get them into the wate.  Hope you not finding things too tiring and are still getting plenty of home-based tlc.  Take care and lots of hugs Jules xx

Hi Jules,

Hope you are OK.  I see you have some plans for this half-term, it will be lovely to spend some extra time with the grandchildren - hope you get to London, I love the natural history museum!  Take care of yourself & am thinking of you.  Hope x

Hi Hope

Thank you for your kind thoughts; the forum and my buddies still helping to keep me on the straight and narrow. Another emotional day ahead and I have just finished making a handmade bouquet to take to the service for hubby later today. Will appreciate the privacy of the occasion with just me and the children(their partners too)  present for this part of the journey.  Moving forward is a slow process but is happening at its own pace and am getting comfort still from the wonderful memories I hold in my heart and can never be taken away.  As a family we share them often and talk freely which I know is helping us all.

Hope you and the family and doing ok and that the boys continue to do well with their education.  Sending hugs  Jules x

Hi Hope

Thank you for your kind thoughts; the forum and my buddies still helping to keep me on the straight and narrow. Another emotional day ahead and I have just finished making a handmade bouquet to take to the service for hubby later today. Will appreciate the privacy of the occasion with just me and the children(their partners too)  present for this part of the journey.  Moving forward is a slow process but is happening at its own pace and am getting comfort still from the wonderful memories I hold in my heart and can never be taken away.  As a family we share them often and talk freely which I know is helping us all.

Hope you and the family and doing ok and that the boys continue to do well with their education.  Sending hugs  Jules x

Hello again Jules,  Just wanted to wish you the very best for today.  I know it will be a very emotional day but I hope that you can gain some comfort from sharing it with your lovely family.  I can only echo Brian's response in saying that I believe we should talk openly about those loved ones we have lost and it is very good that you are able to do this with not only your family but with friends too.

Thank you for asking about me and my family, my boys are doing great and youngest has to shortly make his university choices then of course deliver on the results!  He has chosen high grade uni's so no doubt it will be a nerve racking time (for me more than him LOL!).

Take care and thinking of you today.  Hope x

Good morning Brian and Hope

Hope you dont mind a joint response (saves you double reading ha ha). The 'final journey' service for hubby yesterday was very poignant but it was necessary for us all to bring some closure to what has been a rather elongated 'goodbye' caused by professional' failures (hard to deal with).  I do feel that we are now beginning again the healing process that the loss of a loved one brings.  As you both have said we are blessed with the fact that we talk openly and often about hubby/dad/grandad (not something I am sure he would understand having  been such a quiet person himself!). Many humerous memories to recall over such a long period (its the little things that set you off!!) as well as frustrating times (let's face it no one is perfect) but overall he put a lot into his work life and his family, was generous and dignified and  our family, though a small unit, will keep him close in our hearts as we continue to try and make him proud.

Am off to do the 'supermarket sweep' shortly and out for usual social evening tonight and then spending time with family tomorrow as we celebrate daughter's birthday tomorrow (son's is next weekend so having dinner and 'cake').  I know it wont be easy for us all but we are doing it together and keep a candle burning and hope in our hearts.

Brian - hope the computer glitches are now a thing of the past (technology great when it works but such a pain when it plays up).  Hope you and Mrs B ave a peaceful and perhaps 'nutty' weekend.

Hope - Good to hear your boys are continuing to achieve - how proud you and your husband must feel as you watch them grow.  Wishing them all the best with next round of exams/results and though I know you only 'drop in' to the forum from time to time do hope you are managing okay. 

Stay well, sending thank you hugs. Jules x

Dear Jules,  I'm so glad that the service brought some sort of closure for you, although it must still be difficult to come to terms with the mistakes that were made.  I'm glad you have your lovely family around you and I will continue to think of you as you move forwards.  Hope x

Good morning Jules,

Sounds like you a going to have a lovely day today even though I am sure there will be moments of sadness as well. But the closeness you share as a family will help you through those moments. It must be a great comfort to you that you can share both sad and happy times together as a family. 

I have now got 26 places all round Sussex where our members can get a discount which should help offset the cost of our members subscription fees. We have also now finalized the dates for our exhibitions/shows for this year. The first one is not until May. So as soon as the weather warms up, I will be starting on this years new lines.

Mrs B's carnations arrived yesterday for valentines day and as a reward, she has baked me some heart shaped cheese bisciuts. Mind you Jules I was blackmailed into buying the flowes by a promise of the cheese biscuits. You ladies know how to get us men to do what you want us to do ha ha.

Take care, have a lovely day today Jules, will be thinking of you, Brian.

Thanks Hope and Brian

Have enjoyed family time today and as usual the grandchildren stole the show (along with a very excitable Westie who did lots of chasing before enjoying a well earned marrowbone). Of course, the inner emotions did battle with the need to  help our daughter enjoy her birthday and think we all managed well to get the right balance. We all enjoyed an Indian takeaway followed buy my son's girlfriend's chocolate cake (very naughty but very good!). Tomorrow my daughter and I have a day out without the little ones so should be able to shop till we drop though it will be a lot of window shopping and chat.

Your reference to Mrs B's flowers being well deserved bearing in mind you got a fair swap (heart shaped cheesy biscuits) just shows how well you know each other.  Hubby was no romantic but always told me to 'get myself some flowers' when we went shopping around Valentines Day so bought myself a couple of bunches yesterday and they look lovely. As I walked back, I passed a florist and sitting on the table outside was a miniature pair of pottery wellies (with bee features) containing an african violet - its now sitting as a centrepiece on my dining table.

Did make some plans to take the grandchildren to London for the day when I am not working this week and then the following week the eldest has a 'training day' off school and I am on annual leave so have booked to go on the London Eye as a treat for us to enjoy (son in law does not 'do heights' so daughter and I will take the two boys).

Well time is moving forward again and I need to get some shut eye.  Best regards to you both and all my forum buddies. Jules x

Hi Jules, 
Good to see you had a lovely time with the family, always a joy.  It's hard to believe you only have one more week  at work then leave with the family.  I have had a few computer issues then had grandson here for 36 hours which was such fun.  Although it was a hot one we had fun with buckets of water, plastic cups and water balloons.  The simple things in life...
Re the family visit it's still going ahead at present.  Sister has requested a wheelchair for airport travel as has mum.  Sister still unable to walk far and still no diagnosis from docs.  Mum has been put on bp tabs but to get to 88 without being on any Meds is quite an accomplishment.  Three weeks till they arrive.  There will be lots of tears and lots of laughter.  Also a good excuse to raise a glass to absent "friends".
Did you have any luck at Friday night outing?
I went out for tea with 2 friends during the week, quite a novel experience driving myself out to a pub.  It was pleasant enough and the meal was good value.  Getting back to car I found my driving glasses had cracked but had another pair in glovebox.  It wasn't really hot so who knows why it happened.  Guess I need to carry them in handbag from now on, what a pain.
Just found the latest on you mum on Kerries thread, thought I was really losing it as couldn't find it on yours but was sure I had seen it somewhere.  The things you do to keep me on my toes... Haha.
Well Jules will head out and do some work outside, only in little spurts as is 38 tdy, but beats sitting inside.  Big hugs
Love Kathy xxx
 

Hi Kathy

So I ramble on other threads as well as my own, oh my. Sometimes just forget where I am - virtually or otherwise ha ha.

Bet you had great fun with the water games outside in that heat and yes love the way kiddies can have a great time without too much expense - going back a lot of years I remember my two as small kids spending outs filling and emptying jugs of water in and out of an old washing up bowl in the middle of my lawn!!!(now its the grandson making mud pies (yesterday too even though only 8degrees!!). 

Pleased to read that your family members (plus wheels) hope to be with you for your celebrations and 'absent friends' toasts will be emotional but part of the day. Your Mum has done amazingly well to only now need medication for her blood pressure.  MyMum will be 89 inMay and takes all sorts of pills for many different ailments and says she should rattle when she walks .We celebrated my daughter's birthday yesterday and whilst, like you, emotionally charged it was good to be altogether. Today her and I had a girlie shopping day out with lunch (son in law had the boys) and she has just dropped me off an left to help put them to bed.  She relished the 'time out' (especially trying clothes on in peace!!) and will enjoy her next day out (her husband got her a spa day for 2 as her birthday treat) too.  Helps to recharge her batteries.

A few of us seem to be having 'computer issues' - my phone line is 'noisy' and creating intermittant loss of net access (you may get some peace and quiet from me until it gets fully sorted) so waiting for engineers diagnostics again (think the wiring could do with being updated!!!!!!).

Take care and am now about to do the ironing before going into work tomorrow. Sendng hugs back your way.  Jules x

Hi Jules,  Glad you had a nice day with your daughter for her birthday, albeit emotional as I can imagine.  Anniversaries of any kind are always difficult, especially at the beginning.  Your planned trip to the London Eye this week sounds great, hope the weather holds out so you get a good view.  Take care.  Hope x

Thanks for your kind post Hope.  Am very lucky to have family close by and the mutual support we are able to give each other really is helping us cope with our new situation.

Spent an hour visiting Mum after work today as am in London tomorrow.  She is somewhat low just now and no matter what I say still wishing herself in the same place as hubby. Bless her she has just had enough and not enjoying her life any more.Don't dare put into print what she told me she would like for her birthday (not until May so she is still thinking ahead!!) but did manage to talk her into having her hair done when the hairdresser visits tomorrow as is usual. She still thinks hubby is the lucky one  just now.

Hope you are enjoying the half term break. Take care, sending hugs.Jules x

Hi Jules, 

I know you'll be in London enjoying the sights with your family; hope you're all having a great time (remember to build in lots of coffee/treat stops - sightseeing can be pretty tiring ;) 

Hope to hear all about it soon, hugs, Jo xx