Oh Jules forgive my post on my site to you .....I am so sorry not to have known of your hubbies departure.  You know from the support you have given me how well I understand your current situation and my heart goes out to you.  My site tells of my joirney through this uncharted place you find yourself in.  It is difficult but you will come through.

All my thoughts and a big virtual hug

Ian x

Hi Ian

Just lovely to see your name appear on my thread and suspect its just as hard for you to post but I really appreciate the message.  It was a long three years for hubby and I take much comfort in the fact that he is now free from the clutches of his disease which took his happiness away.  I am surrounded by the love of my family and friends (and the ongoing support of virtuality buddies) and now, like you, my life must be lived to the best of my ability. Early days still but so many memories to cherish and share with others - a few late nights of 'story-telling' along the way.

Sending hugs and best wishes and hope all is well with you and Julie in your new life.  Jules x

Hi Jules, didn't go out tdy, relaxing in as much as minimal physical effort required. Fell asleep on sofa at 10 pm (was my bed when hubby had hospital bed in sitting room so dear to my heart), slept till 2 am when meandered off to big bed and slept  till 10 am so reckon sleep was needed.  Had electrician out to quote for ac in spare room in prep for visitors and mate dropped in to colour my hair, so was a good day.    Have requested flood light out back and sensor light in driveway and out front in preparation for wintertime.  Have invited lady up street who lives with her kids (widowed also) to drop in tomorrow avo which she will.  We often wave and chat when walking dog.  Think she was pleased when I knocked on door and asked daughter if mum could come and play tomorrow.  ( I do have wicked sense  of humour).  Tomorrow is planned to be another veg out day with remedial massage plus  chiro booked plus supermarket visit. Will also get bp checked so will need to eat before leaving the house, something I do neglect to do.  Have had a few howls but all good.  If I didn't there would be something wrong.  Feel contented here most of the time but only feel truly happy when with the grandkids..  Thank YOU for listening to my ramblings Jules.  Your friendship is much appreciated honey.  Kathy xxx

Dearest Jules, we have formulated a small group of pm people, bit naughty but what the heck.  If you want to email Annabel at enquiries@greenbarncottages.co.uk and advise who you would like to have your email address she will pass on if she has their details.   I guess Annabel from her experiences/ knowledge can work out who are genuine.  Thank god for her.  Cheers honey.  Xx

Hi Kathy

Just rambled a load, then computer 'lost it' grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  Anyway like you fell asleep in front of tv yesterday for around an hour (used to be hubby's seat) and then had yet another disturbed night. Never mind am sure the body will make up for it eventually.  Just when you wake up there is a lot to think about/plan.

Hope your hand of friendship delivered to your neighbour leads to more coffee get togethers. I have a few really good mates so continued to socialise.  Will miss my night out this Friday as am childminding overnight at my daughters whilst they attend wedding celebrations.  Zack  had a new tooth appear today (after a very sleepless night) so fingers crossed he will sleep through.  He and his brother (6) are usually tucked up and asleep by 7pm so will be interesting to see their reaction to me sleeping over (they are not used to me going there as any sleepovers are usually at mine).

Thanks for info for Annabel and will probably follow this up in due course.  She may even get some bookings at the cottages now that she has her e mail on my thread. 

Have a relaxing weekend and as the weather sounds hot hot hot I think chilled wine with fav cheese/biscuits will be the best way to 'veg' out.  Take care virtual buddy.  Jules x

G. ood morning Jules,

Cant believe you have allready completed you first week back at work. I bet you wont mind missing your usual Friday night out as you will be looking after your grandchildren tonight. It's great that you have such a close bond with them for I am convinced that grandparents have a big impact on young peoples lives and help shape the people they become.  Sometimes I feel they take more notice of something grandparents say or do than they do with regard to their parents. And we can learn from them too for they do look at lofe through differnt eyes.

Glad you have got the paperwork underway both regarding your mothers situation and regarding the probate.  One thing I hat is filling in forms for there are always questions where I cant figure out exactly what theire asking. Try to leave Mrs B to do this if possible; talk about passing the buck.

I have another meeting tommorow for a couple of hours si still keeping busy.

Take care Jules, have a happy time tonight, best wishes and hugs, Brian

Hi Brian

Hope your meeting goes/went well and certainly keeping busy seems to be a key to coping!

Have just got home after sleepover at my daughters.  The children were cuddly (lovely) and I listened to the eldest reading his school book (all about Mercedes cars!) and then he read two Dr Seuss books before we put Zack to bed and he was also in bed by 7. They have a great winding down routine.  Eldest slept through till 7 am but teething pains disturbed the little one so was an up and down night and eventually asleep under granny's duvet.  Thankfully it gave my daughter a chance to catch up on a decent sleep herself.  They had a lovely evening at their friends' wedding reception but were home around 12.45 am. 

Am now waiting to hear if the builder will be round to begin the wall build (I need to be in to give them access to the service road (its gated)).  If not then I will crack on with necessary sorting out and then being taken out this evening by friends for a meal (always a bonus when I do not have to cook).

Definitely a few degrees warmer this morning (no frost or wind thankfully)but dont fancy doing the garden just yet.  There are a lovely display of snowdrops and purple crocus in the front bed (between me and the neighbours) but can already see weeds GRRRR. Having to make do with bought flowers indoors at present to cheer me up.  Right the hoover calls as does the paper shredder ha ha.  Thank goodness for council recycling.  Hope you and Mrs B have a good weekend.  Hugs  Jules x

Hi Jules, oh my giddy aunt, the description of your spring bulbs had me yearning for home, then quick reality check as to the cold weather.... Nah. 

Great sleepover was good and you were able to comfort wee one.  Teething is so bad for littlies.

Neighbour down the street come round late yesterday avo so we spent a few hours chatting was most enjoyable.

Big sis is having major issues with leg/hip/knee pain as yet undiagnosed referred to physio by doc 2 weeks ago.... Try heat.... Try cold packs..  Bleep bleep - because I am a lady haha

For goodness sake treat the cause not the symptoms.

If worst comes to worst she won't be able to fly and think mum and other sis will chose to stay with her.  Her health is of my prime concern not my emotional needs.  Sorry Jules, just biting my tongue re opinion of some medical people, Breathe in... Breathe out....  As always Jules thank you for being there and listening.. Big hugs Kathy xx

Hi Kathy

Sush a shame that your big sis is having problems with her hip/legs which the docs seem unable to solve (second opinion sounds like a good idea to me!). Just the fact that it could mean her having to miss family celebration due to 'possible incompetence' is enough to make your blood boil and you must be worried for her too - not something you need right now either.  Think if it was me I would take myself to A&E *(in agony) and see if they could diagnose the problem but no doubt easier said than done.Will hope for the best that it can be sorted in time for all the family peace.

Glad you got together with your enighbour - always nice to have new friends to share a cuppa with.

I jumped another hurdle on this new 'journey for one' yesterday as I went out for a meal to local Indian restaurant with four very good friends.  It was with mixed emotions as you can imagine but came through it and the company and the food was very good. Hubby loved a good curry and before his illness took hold we were regular restaurant goers (never been much good at replicating a good Indian meal at home ha ha).

Beautiful bright sunny crisp day today so will be off out shortly for my Sunday stroll. Its about one and a half miles to local garden centre (also has a indoor gift/plant section and cafe). Its a good place for quirky gifts and pretty household bits so who knows, may make a purchase or two.  This afternoon my son and other half are calling in along with their Westie so that may give me a break from the sorting and clearing (trying to do a little most days so its not too daunting) - think  I may need a new shredder by the end of it all!

Well enough of my rambling; take care of yourself lovely lady. Sending hugs  Jules x

Hi Jules,

Sorry I've not been in touch lately, but like you, I headed back to work last week and somehow, time seems to have disappeared! 

Your Sunday stroll sounded lovely - I love a wander round a garden centre (and a the compulsory coffee and cake in the coffee shop!) 

I hope you have a good week this week and don't work too hard!

I'm going to sign off and post this as the forum is playing up (seems to be a regular occurance just lately! - never known so many glitches!) I do seem to be able to write in paragraphs now though - always a silver lining haha! 

Take care, sending hugs, Jo xx

Hi Jo

Glad you have been able to get back to work; it does help having the pattern of routine again and am sure you are being well supported and they are delighted to see you there too. If your school is the same as round this way, next week is half term (I think on my days off I will be having fun with daughter and grandkids).

Its pretty weird, having just returned from bereavement leave I have 'holiday' to use up prior to 1st April and so am 'lady of leisure' again last week in Feb/first week March.  Is is too much to hope for that the weather may be a little warmer and I may be able to spend time outside (unfortunately builder did not turn up to do back wall so need to get new quotes but hope this will be sorted soon as I can then feel the urge to get tidying- (overgrown bottom of garden is my security blanket at present ha ha).

The children and I are attending a service for hubby on Thursday and am hoping this will continue the healing process of our loss.

Take care and sending hugs.  Jules x

Hi Jules,

Regarding you and your children attending a service, reminded me of when my mother passed away. I recieved an invite to attend a memorial service run by a hospice that my mother had attended. I have to admit I umed and arred but eventually decided to go. I was very glad I did in the end. There were about 25 to 30 families there and it was a very moving evening. I had to drive about 15 mile to get there. The service wasnt too churcified but was very nice way to remember our loved ones.

I hope your evening is as nice as mine was. Take care best wishes and kind thoughts being sent your way, Brian.

Hi Jules,

Regarding you and your children attending a service, reminded me of when my mother passed away. I recieved an invite to attend a memorial service run by a hospice that my mother had attended. I have to admit I umed and arred but eventually decided to go. I was very glad I did in the end. There were about 25 to 30 families there and it was a very moving evening. I had to drive about 15 mile to get there. The service wasnt too churcified but was very nice way to remember our loved ones.

I hope your evening is as nice as mine was. Take care best wishes and kind thoughts being sent your way, Brian.

Thanks Brian.  The service is mid afternoon and though emotional for us will, I am sure,help us to move forward. Its our daughter's birthday this weekend and our son's 30th the following weekend so will be in an emotional bubble for a while no doubt; all part of the grieving process.As the lovely Beryl would say, baby steps.

Busy at work is keeping the mind from wandering too often but having reflective moments and good memories to draw on will keep us all 'in the now' and beyond.

Hope you and Mrs B are keeping okay.  Jules x

Hi  Jules,

Couldnt post on here earlier as My computer just wouldnt start. Last night after coming home from the wood club meeting my computer decided to download an update. This morning I switched on and it started but then decided to freeze part way through the boot up. I couldnt switch off nor could I persued it to finnish yje boot up sequence. I had to leave it while Mrs B and I walked along the road to get her magazines and whan I came back I managed to switch it oof and this time allthough very slow, it completed the boot up. Gave me quite a scare. Wood club meeting was very good as the other founder member and mt good friend gave a talk/slide show about all the carvings he had done during his carving life. Fantastic evening. I was kept busy taking money for subs before the talk.

Anyway enough about me. Jules, I hope today brings a degree of comfort both to you and your family. Yes, I have no doubt there will be sad moments today but as you say, you have many happy memories which no one or nothing can take from you. I am so glad you are able to talk honestly and openly to your friends and family for I truly belive this helps with the grieving process. During my life I have met some people who think that after a few weeks we should not talk about those we have lost and move on with our lives. Their thinking seems to be talking about them keeps the pain alive. But I have pointed out to them when someone has been a part of our lives for so long, we have a need to talk about them;we cant just dismiss them from our lives. I know everyone has their own way of coping but these people were very forcefull in their attitude and I didnt like the way they spoke to my mother and me.

Anyway I have ranted enough for one day, take care and I and your forum buddies will be thinking of you this afternoon. Best wishes and big hug being sent your way, Brian

Hello Brian,

Haven't spoken to you for a long while, I hope you are OK.  I don't come on the site as often as I used to but always like to check in from time to time on my forum buddies who supported me so well.  I have read your post to Jules and am sad to read that you experienced people who didn't understand your need to talk about your loss.  I totally agree that it is part of the healing process to talk through everything and to talk about our lost ones openly.  I had a similar experience with somebody I had thought was a good friend of many years who, when I was grieving, told me she was sick of me talking about my Mum and Dad because she had things to get on with in her life.  Needless to say she has yet not had to encounter grief.  When we experience loss it changes us forever; I hope I will always have understanding for people going through such a terrible time.  Anyway Brian just thought I'd rant too in agreement with you!  Take care.  Hope x

Hi Hope,

Thanks for your post. We must have been thinking along the same lines for I was thinking of posting to you as I realized the other day we had not spoken for quite some time. My psa regarding my prostate has only gone up a very small amount so everything looking good on the health front. Glad to read your sons are both doing well and that you have been keeping busy. I hope you are keeping well too. I notice you are still keeping up the good work by helping others on here.

Take care my forum buddy sending kind thoughts and best wishes your way, Brian.

Hi again Brian, I'm so glad to read your health is keeping good.  Best wishes to you and Mrs B.  Hope x