Hi everyone

Just logged on and am totally overwhelmed (you sure as hell know how to bring out my emotions!!).  Thamk you all so much.  My hubby's celebration of life was so well attended it was 'shifted' to the larger chapel and despite the obvious sadness, we were as one in our thoughts and prayers as we bade a final goodbye. Many tears but also laughter as we all had our memories out for an airing in the three hours following the service. Beautiful buffet provided by his local drinking hole and a good few glasses raised (even if a lot were soft drinks ha ha) and we had some to take home for supper too!  The children and grandchildren came back and we had a very relaxed evening together (daughter and family stayed over so the boys could go to bed at normal time).

Today has been spent catching up with thank you notes and more paperwork plus tea and cake with friends at lunch time.  We managed to raise over £550 for the nominated charity who had helped hubby at the start of his journey - he would have been thrilled.

Brian, sorry to read about your Grandson's infection and do hope they can get him more comfortable very soon.  Our eldest has an emergency ENT appointment tomorrow (another half day off school) to follow up on a week of nosebleeds (the last one took over 2hrs to stem) and to see if they are going to cauterize.  I shall have Zack for a couple of hours (he has just cut tooth no.3 and it will be easier for daughter/son in law to concentrate rather than coping with both of them during the hospital appointment).

Once again thanks to all my forum friends for your continued love, prayers and support which is truly appreciated.  Hugs and kind thoughts to your all.  Jules xxx

Hi Jules, you've just climbed over another mountain and came down the other side still intact. You are one tough lady, but I'm sure there are times when you don't feel as strong as you appear. Many of us here on the forum have had you in our hearts and our prayers. Find some time to sit back now with your feet up and reflect on what you need. Sometimes we continue to put our own needs on the back burner while looking after a loved one, and that is how it is, but we still need to re-charge our own batteries from time to time.

Take care and stay in touch. Hugs

Lorraine 

Hi Jules,  Was thinking of you yesterday and was glad to read that everything went as well as it could.  I know in the days ahead there will be difficult times, be kind to yourself and know that your forum buddies are here for you.  Hope x

Hi Lorraine

Thank you for your supportive words and kind thoughts.  I still have two weeks of bereavement leave before going back to my part time job (I have been to see the work crowd a couple of times and my close workmates were there on Monday too). Am beginning to wonder where I will find time to fit 'work'back in but suppose eventually the protocols/forms etc will slow down )mind you once I have appointed Probate solicitors (another appointment to keep next week!) this will lighten the load.

The next weight to address is regarding my Mother's care arrangements - now five months since I asked for re-assessment with no outcome other than 'fobbing off' messages. Hit the e-mail route yesterday and will give them 14 days to get 'moving' having told them it will be referred to my MP in due course. ow many chances do they want!!!!

Today I am going to visit Mum and then having Zack for a couple of hours as my eldest grandson has hospital appointment to investigate repetetive nosebleeds and possible cauterization treatment. The boys are a constant delight in so many ways and our children/partners and friends have been supurb. 

I know I cannot be permanently strong (and believe me I am not!!) but have plenty of time to relax ahead of me and will feel better once legalities are sorted.  Feeling very much like a 'secretary' on autopilot (well was one in life before children ha ha).

Nop snow in my neck of the woods but today is damp and cloudy (or will  be when darkness lifts).

Hope your recovery is coming along and that you have good support too. We all need 'bear hugs' and I send you virtual ones.  Take care Jules xx

Hello Margaret

Friends and family have been  amazing and are still looking after me (tea and cake in plentiful supply).

Hubby's celebration of life was like two sides of a coin with sorrow on one side and wonderful everlasting memories on the other (we are all hanging on to those).  To see so many people attending (even people popping out in their lunch hours to pay their respects plus one person coming in disguise to avoid being noticed by an 'ex') was overwhelming in the show of love and respect for my man.  Like yourself it also bought back other sad memories (having lost a dear friend just nine months ago).  Have to accept there will be emotional ups and downs as I continue travelling my journey of life but hubby would definitely be encouraging me to 'live it' and in turn I am encouraging my children to make the most of every day - perspectives are changing but no one can take the past away from us and we talk often and openly of a wonderful husband, dad and grandad.

Ramble over but thanks for taking the time to talk to me.  Have a peaceful day.

Good morning Hope

Am appreciating the kind thoughts you and others are bringing to me just now. Still feels a little strange that I only have myself to 'see to' especially first thing in the morning but still plenty to keep me occupied just now.

Hubby's brother and sister in law returned to Isle of Man yesterday but his elder sister is still over and coming for dinner tomorrow before also returning to the Island. Not sure it has really sunk in for them yet but they are throwing themselves into renovating the 'dream' home (not even proper bed to sleep on yet!) and sometime in the future I expect to visit them all as hubby's representative though suspect he is watching their efforts (as he watches mine to make necessary adjustments!!).

Hope all is well with you and the family.  Take care  Jules x

Good morning Jules,

So pleased that everything went okay. I understand what you so clevery wrote to Margret about it being like two sides of a coin. You have a lovely way with words, and is probably helped by all the books you have read. 

I have got to go for a blood test later for my prostate survelance and tonight I have a committee meeting for my local cancer charity. Apparently my grandsons infection is probably in his stomach which is why he keeps feelin/ being sick. he has had quite a few days off school poor lad. One specialist even thinks he may have a cyst in his stomach hence why they are talking of an operation. But as I have said, he still keeps happy and doesnt seem to let things get him down. When I was talking to Mrs B about when I told her I had prostate cancer, She said the reason why she took it so well was that she knew I would get over it as I never let anything worry me and have always looked on the positive side of things. Made me feel real lucky she is my wife and that she had so much faith in me.

I hope you are able to resolve the situation regarding your mothers residence as you dont need added stress on top of all you have been through lately. She is happy where she is so I hope a way can be found to let her stay where she is. Also I hope the hospital are able to sort out your grandsons nose bleeds. I need to sign off for now as I have to leave to go to the surgery shortly,will talk again soon. Take care Jules, sending kind thought and best wishes your way, Brian

Hi Jo

Thanks for your post.  No snow where I am but  dry all day.  Just after dusk has started to drizzle but I am now tucked up by the fire with a large mug of tea (shorrtbread tin is empty but choccies look tempting!!!!)

Well, what a day.  Visited Mum  for a while and was greeted with a smile and she had had her hair set - such a difference to see her looking  good!  She has seemed a little more settled (strange what the death of her son in law has brought about - think though she is still 'down' she is also supporting me bless her. Got back home, via shoe shop (new trainers as wore hole in bottom of old ones ha ha) and supermarket (sister in law coming for dinner tomorrow evening  before returning to Isle of Man on Friday and there was a phone message for Mum's new social worker.  I thought my e-mail had done the trick  until he said that he called at the home just over a week ago (to see another client) and made enquiries regarding Mum but was informed of my bereavement and decided to give me some breathing space before contacting me - thoughtful start to our contact and he understood my frustrations.  We have booked an appointment for him to re-assess Mum next Tuesday so I will  be able to go along too.  So will wait and see what happens now!

Eldest grandson had one nostril cauterized at ENT appt. and so we will see if that helps.  He told me he was very brace, had two stickers to prove it and will take them into school tomorrow to show and tell. Zack was no problem for the time I had him (even managed a 25min nap) and has a lovely giggly nature and waited till his Mum and Dad returned before filling his nappy .  Gave the grandchildren tea and then they went home to get to bed.

Hope Paddy enjoyed is snow walk and you did not get too cold.  Love to look at it but hate it when it goes slushy/icy. 

take care and love and hugs returned with thanks for continued chat/support.  This forum is helping me cope on a day to day basis  naturally a few teary moments but am glad to be able to show emotion and have mutual support of family friends on my new journey forward.  Jules xx