Hi Tania,

It is always scary after a cancer diagnosis. I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2010, had a pre-cancer diagnosis in the other breast 6 months later and then a second cancer in the original breast a year after my original diagnosis. Although I have now come to terms with the fact that I am not immortal, I still have my moments - I think that nearly all of us do! You don't have to feel eternally grateful. Although I will always feel eternally grateful to my surgeon and care team, I also feel eternally grateful to those who provide the meat and food, which keeps me alive. Both of these sectors have different roles in life, but both are equally important. Life is seldom the same after diagnosis. It is a different life post-cancer, but it we only get one shot at it and have to make the best of it.

You are still in charge of your quality of life. You are still master/mistress of your own destiny - free to refuse or accept whatever you wish. Depression is a common sole mate of a cancer diagnosis - if you find this too difficult to cope with, your doctor may be able to help you.

You are certainly by no means crazy. This is how most people feel and this is a situation where it pays to try and make the most of the rotten hand that life has dealt. I sincerely hope that you will get there eventually. Have you considered joining one of Breast Cancer Now's "Moving Forward" courses? You might find this a helpful place to start.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx