Hi Debsydora1960, 

Unfortunately what you describe is a a common occurrence and I have seen many members of our forum make similar comments about how loved ones react sometimes and think everything is back to normal and fine after being in remission. The truth is, it is often far from being the case and going through a cancer diagnosis and treatment often leaves profound physical and psychological marks. In your case, you are also having to deal with the effects of diabetes and osteoarthritis which will have an impact on your mobility. I am so sorry to hear too that you have no friends in the area and you are your father's carer and he is 100 years old so you may be needing additional support to look after him. This is something you probably need to have an open and honest conversation about with your family and mention that even if you are in remission, you are not back to normal and need additional support for example to care for your father. CarersUK might have some good advice for your particular situation. You've been through a lot and you need time to recover and it would be good perhaps if you met other people in a similar situation so you feel less isolated whether it is online here on the forum or in a support group in your local area. If you have a Maggie's centre in your area, you could drop by maybe and have a chat with others who are also in remission or find themselves in a similar place in relation to their family. 

Just a few days ago, I was replying to another member of the forum, Fernie who expressed exactly the same feelings as you and wrote "I struggle with people thinking that because I’m now clear of (cervical) cancer that everything is back to normal." This member explained that she was still suffering from the side effects from treatment but no one around her seemed to truly understand. I know that you will understand one another so don't hesitate to drop her a line on her 'Life after you've been told you're clear' thread as it helps to share those thoughts with someone who is exactly in the same boat. As I suggested to Fernie, have a look too at our information on life beyond cancer which includes guidance on mental health and counselling that might be available. 

I hope this helps a little and that you will hear from others who are or have been in remission and felt the same way. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator