Thanks Lara and sorry for a delayed response. I’m feeling ok one day and terribly depressed the next. It’s just crazy. Not helping my elderly dog has just been diagnosed with cancer and only has weeks left. Everything seems to have happened at once this year and I’m struggling to take it all in. 

Thank you for the info on the MRI, that’s really helpful. 

Hope you are well xxx

Thank you for your message and sharing xxx completely agree about the secondaries. That’s what gets me the most xxx

Hi Rolo,

This is a dilemma that we all face after our hospital treatment finishes. I am glad to hear that your treatment went well. Tamoxifen does affect your emotions quite dramatically, so we have to make some allowances for that. The fear of reoccurrence is something that we all have, but when we are tied up with diagnosis and treatment, we don't have time to give it much thought. It is only after all this finishes that the fear becomes a very real reality. This is something that we all have to live with and come to terms with, in our own individual ways.  Most people are seen and screened annually for the first 5 years after surgery. If you suspect anything untoward, you can always phone your breast care nurse and get checked over. 

With regard to the seriousness of what you've been through. After the initial shock of diagnosis, we tend to get dragged along with the tide of tests, diagnosis, surgery and treatment, living from day to day, without having much time or energy to think about this. Once everything stops, it only then begins to really hit us.  The good thing is that this is all behind you now and you can get back to a normal life. We tend to make friends and get caught up in the social aspect of meeting others when we are attending hospital and many find it a lonely place when this suddenly stops. 

Have you thought of joining one of your local cancer support groups? Somewhere like Maggie's or the Haven spring to mind. These are dotted all around the country and are an invaluable resource to have. If you don't have either of these close to you, there are a number of other charitable cancer organisations. You can pop in for a cuppa and a chat, talk to a nurse or a counsellor, attend classes on self care after cancer, join walking groups for people of different abilities, join a seated yoga class, avail of some  relaxing alternative therapies( such as reflexology, Indian head massage, aromatherapy, to name but a few) - all of these services even tend to be free of charge. Many people form their own self-help groups and arrange various activities which suit their particular group. Meeting up with others who have been through "the cancer experience" and being able to talk to them openly is one of the best therapies you can have.  

I fully agree that there should be more resources pumped into this area. I have had both a lumpectomy and a double mastectomy. Both times I found the lump myself. Because I have had a double mastectomy, I have had no scans since my last surgery - again a regular ultra sound, would give me some  reassurance. I was first diagnosed 14 years ago and have been through what you are going through - I suspect that most of us here have.  I have availed of all of the above services and more, in an effort to get myself out of that "hole". By helping yourself in some of these ways, you will find that you will not only make new friends, but you will help others along the way and this satisfaction should help to lift your mood.

The only answer I have personally found to helping with the emotional turmoil caused by Tamoxifen, is unfortunately, medication. I eventually resorted to Venlafaxine and it made a tremendous improvement. 

I hope that you will soon feel more positive about your situation and can start to move forward - life is too short for what ifs!.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

.

Hey everyone since chatting on here I have joined a gym and volunteered to work for a cancer charity that helps people to an from hospital for there treatment I’m in the process of DBS checks etc but they hope to have me start in December and it’s all thanks to reading all your stories and knowing I’m not in this alone it’s way out my comfort zone but I’m gona give it a go good luck guys sending big hugs and thank you for sharing xxx

jen