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Fear of breast cancer recurrence

Jal55
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Hi

i just wondered if anyone else felt the same panic as I do going for their 8 year mammogram post treatment?

I have been having yearly mammograms at the hospital where I was treated for grade 2 breast cancer ( just lymph node involved). I had a lumpectomy, radiotherapy, clearance of lymph nodes and have been taking Anastrozole for 8 years. Due to Oncotype result of 32 I was told I had a high risk of recurrence though. 

My last mammogram was in 2019 and all was fine. Somehow, now I am back in the regular screening programme, I have convinced myself that something is bound to have developed in 3 years and the cancer must have recurred. My mammogram is tomorrow and I'm finding it really hard to cope - especially the thought of waiting for the results.  I'm getting regular flashbacks of opening my recall letter all those years ago!! 

At the hospital the lovely ladies doing the mammograms were able to give me a hint on the day that everything looked ok, but realise this won't happen tomorrow!! 
Most of the time I don't really think about the cancer coming back but it's as if now I can't allow myself to think otherwise. 
 

I know there are so many other people going through similar experiences but wondered if you have any coping tips for the next couple of weeks.

it's a bit like a big clock is ticking down and everything is about to start all over again!! 

Jx
 

 

 

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    Hi

    I was diagnosed in 2016, I've just come to the end of yearly mammograms and I am now back to the regular  three yearly screening programme. In some ways it is a relief- to be back to 'normal' but yes- there's always anxiety. I really wish I had some coping skills to give but I don't. I sometimes think that the anxiety will  last as long as the physical scars - only wish it was as easy to live with.

    Hope all goes well,  

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    I really don't think the fear will ever go....  but you've done 8 years... 8 years !!  What gets me through a day is hoping I get 8 years and more and I have very many friends and family that haven't had that.  So i try feel grateful and take the cards I am dealt.   I know that's very hard but try to be strong and positive.  Enjoy every day x

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    Hi jall 

     

    hope you feeling better sorry to ask but saw your thread I had cancer in June waiting on oncotyoe did you have chemo on a score of 32 or did you have chemo first before op or skip it I'm waiting for my Onco to come back x 

     

     

  • Offline in reply to laraj

    Hi LaraJ

    Thanks for your reply. I'm still waiting for my mammogram results - at least the post has been today which means I can relax a bit until Tuesday! Then it's the wobbly legs again! 
    I chose not to have chemotherapy - it was recommended due to my Oncotype result, but my oncologist was very understanding and said it was my choice. I think the difference  chemo would have made for chance of recurrence was 4%. My tumour was tiny ( 9mm) and only one lymph node was affected so I think the oncologist was really suprised that I had a score that high. The tumour was strongly oestrogen and progesterone positive, and I am taking Anastrozole for 10 years - just 2 more to go go hopefully. I also had 20 sessions of radiotherapy which wasn't too bad. The chemotherapy is such a personal choice - I realise that most women with such a high score would opt for it. Had I been younger ( I was 59 when I was diagnosed) I would probably have made a different choice. 
    I hope your treatment has gone well - do let me know how you get on with the oncotype test. It's so horrible waiting for results isn't it! 

    Jxx

  • Offline in reply to wyll

    Hi wyll

    Thanks so much for your reply. 
    I'm still waiting!! A bit of a respite now as no post until Tuesday
    You are right - it is good to be back to "normal" and most of the time I don't think about it. I suppose it's just fear of being back to square one when you are feeling so well. 
    I do hope it works out well for you - I suppose the fear is just something we have to cope with!! I'm trying really hard to be positive!!

    Jxx

  • Offline in reply to Whymewhynow

    Hi Whymewhynow

    Thanks so much for your reply - it made me think how much I have enjoyed the last 8 years!!

    I think having cancer has also made me embrace a healthier lifestyle which can't be bad.

    No post due until Tuesday, and I'm out for my brothers birthday tonight with family. I'm feeling a bit more positive today - and hoping that if they had wanted to recall me it would have happened by nowIt's the middle of the night when it's always worse isn't it ! 
    I do hope all goes well for you and thanks again.

    Jxx

     

  • Offline in reply to Jal55

    Jal 

    thabks so much for coming back to me , mine was small to so I'm hoping score be low , I'm 48 don't want chemo to be honest if it's just over rather than like over 50 I don't think I will do chemo either xx 

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