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One Year On - it's been very tough. Feeling lonely today

Bolly50
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Tomorrow is my one year clear, you think I would be bouncing of the walls, instead I'm sitting here with my wonderful partner trying not to cry.  I love reading the Moving On as it makes me realise that I'm not weird or ungrateful.  I have struggled more the past year than I did with the cancer.  A few of you have said that people assume you are all better now as though you just had a bad cold.  Before I had cancer I was in the best of health I ever had been physically and mentally, but now I'm still struggling with my finger nails, with added decoration of warts.  Swollen knee, joint pain, eye problems, you name it, I'm rocking it.

I feel better for being  able to  spill it out because I know you understand but bad for doing so.  I had so many plans for this year as wanted to make up for lost time but everytime we have made plans had to cancel due to things out of our control.

Thank you for listening I am sorry for going on but feel particularly lonely today.

Stay safe

Bolly50 xx

 

 

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    Hi welcome to the forum the club nobody wants to join. 

    When people are diagnosed with cancer, friends and relatives can alot of times be unsure what to do or say, alot want to help but don't want to do or say wrong thing. 

    With cancer and after we call it the new normal it's quite possible you have changed since diagnosed. 

    Billy 

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    Hi Bolly50, 

    Billy is so right in everything posted. I am coming up to a year post diagnosis and still struggling to accept the 'new me'.  The 'new me' is far less active and emotionally still quite numb. It's hard to come to terms with and friends and family are bored of hearing about it. That makes it harder for us to move on, no doubt. 

    Covid, immunosuppression and having to stay out of the sun this year certainly only adds to the struggles. 

    I just wanted to give you a virtual hug. 

    Mickey xx ️
     

     

  • Offline in reply to MickeyM

    Thank you MickeyM and  Billygoatt for your words.  You are so right when you speak of the "New me", I find this especially at work, whereas before I could pick up something straight away now I will go out of my way to avoid learning new things as the brain just can't hack it.

     

    Thank you both especially for the virtual hug.

    Bolly50 xx

  • Offline in reply to Bolly50

    Hi again Bolly50, 

    I totally get where you're coming from. Re work, I also feel the same. I'm struggling full stop. The 'new me' cannot do what I used to and whilst I'm trying to accept that, my work seem to be fighting against it even with OH support. Anyway, just remember we have rights at work and they do need to make adjustments and be supportive. At the moment, I'm holding onto that as I fight my way to next stage to get required adjustments formalised. 
     

    Here's another virtual hug Mickey xx ️

  • Offline in reply to MickeyM

    Hi Mickey

    Please know you are not alone in your fight which you could do without.  Sending so much and support to you.

    Bolly50 xx

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    Big hug coming your way

    i guess we're allowed to feel sad, lonely, frightened and scared

    I know I am, 3 months ago my world tipped upside down with BC 

    but i here, and going to do it!!

    So Will you !

    Make more plans... and you will eventually get to do them  
    x

  • Offline in reply to Botwinkle

    Sending huge hugs  and to you.

    We are allowed and do feel a variety of feelings, but most importantly we have hope, love & strength and through your comments I can see you have that.  Wish you so much positive action with your treatment.

    Be thinking of you Botwinkle xx

     

     

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