Carers-when to give up work to look after a spouse

as a carer, when do you know when it's time to take compassionate leave to look after the patient? My husband claims he is deteriorating and will "die soon" but his consultant has classed him as stable. He wants/expects  me to give up work, not to look after him but to be with him. I'm reluctant to do this yet ... the consultant has said he has patients who have lived 10,15,20years... my husband has been diagnosed for 2yrs. We've just spent the last 12months together 24hrs a day due to Covid lockdowns and me working at home. He has stopped me seeing friends and family even when it was allowed. I need my work and work friends to keep me sane. Am I harsh and unfeeling as I don't want to give this up yet? He isn't on any pain meds and is lucid. 

  • Hi it seems that your husband wants slave to look after him and get everything for him.

    As long as hes mobile and can move about safety and as you say lucid.can do things for himself , you do what you want, remember your married not joined at the hip.

    When I was diagnosed I was given five years that was Feb 2016 I was working metal fabrication and welding factory ,I kept working for two years till my wife got ill she has Alzheimer's and Parkinson's so she kept falling over, I'm her official carer and I was before being diagnosed , but she was more mobile.

    now, still going strong still positive and fighting despite being bitten by cancer a few more times,.I might be on palative care but that doesn't mean that's it.

    If he does get very bad and definitely needs help remember there are carers as well as you to look after him 

    Take care of yourself remember.

    Billy